First Steps to Solvency

warby68

In our house we call it 'missing your slot' with sleep. We're all dodgy sleepers and know if we miss that first time in the evening when we're tired and should have gone to bed, it will be a nightmare. You might be on that, resisting going to bed at say 11 which is fine on a work night, and then in a mess. More obviously, you're getting started on the wrong things at night and quite probably just wasting time with these endless reruns. Evening work, if needed, should be to aid rest - the review and the list for the day after as an act of parking it for the night and actually do that. You have to help yourself @alt80, doing the same things and expecting different results is futile. The time to go to bed is when your eyes are drooping on the sofa not shake it off for another hour's number crunching. Being tired after a day's work is normal. Being extra tired because you're battling mentally and physically, which you are, is also normal.

All this spend v repayment is just the balance argument over and over. All the ideal (to you) scenarios are just pie in the sky. You have to live AND repay debt and you know which are your non-negotiables. Keep imagining the non-negotiables gone is just a waste of time. I personally think you spend too much on coffees out - its not as if you don't have a load on expenses during the week. You can do it on your budget but its the one easy win if you want to squeeze a bit more. But that's me, not you. The fuel thing is obvious. You need a cheaper runaround - 2nd car could be that, or even (and don't fall off your chair here at the shame) something like a van for work. That's what husband does - cheapo van plus X6 (OK not up in your bracket but enough that he doesn't want to hammer the miles or the fuel costs). Uses car selectively when he feels like it. Also handy for not being 'flash harry' on sites where it wouldn't go down well. Some people don't like seeing the contractors doing too well. Its also what the very well off people we know do - the wealth is very much downplayed with the work vehicles. 

Having balance, not feeling excessively deprived and knowing what gives very good value for the ££ helps everyone stay the course. Sheer misery encourages blowouts. I think you can have a very strict say 12m at the start after the light bub while the enthusiasm is very high and you're still coasting on recent luxuries and you've sort of done that already. After that its bedding in for the longer term. That's what your budget is about now. 

For me MSE is about getting the best value for your budget and the best lifestyle for what you can afford and NOT about never spending or extreme frugality, although the latter two have their place when your back is to the wall. Yours isn't. Yours is a gradual reset to what's affordable. Wife sees it as horrendous but honestly there is still quite a bit of skewed thinking in the @alt80 household. Its actually reasonable now and very nice once the £1k pm card repayments are freed up. Getting your urgency/extreme demons under control is taking time but it is coming. Your rethinks always seem to get it even when you've had a bad day or two.

Your RR is still costing a fortune over a relatively short period in your plans but as you plan to keep it 10y it probably does not matter if you don't have all the bullet by Y5 which is your aim and it ran out to say Y7. Its a reflection of the fact you bought a car that cost the same as a small property with not much deposit. Its a big drag factor - if it were a mortgage it would be over 20y. While you want to keep that 'beast', the cost will be felt. You have to accept that your car spend will probably always be a bit out of proportion as that's still your main craving. Once you're over the next year or 2 you can decide how much of income you want/are willing to allocate to cars as a clearly defined part of the whole budget.

Keep going @alt80

alt80

Did manage to sleep when I got to bed, wife dragged me up this morning annoyed with me for missing son's bedtime again last night. Whacked and 2 cups of coffee in already. Realise when I write it down it's the same kind of behaviour that drives the cravings for stronger stimulants all the time probably time to check in with the profs again ha all I want is the same levels of productivity as yesterday 3 days planned work in 1.

@getmore4less I'm usually whacked around 9 myself manage to push through though tbf 9-3 no worse than 2-8 I do know that just good at ignoring the tiredness.

Holidays are just that here wife goes !!!!!! mental if I take the work stuff usually have to hide from her to get anything done. 

That's why my wife was looking at the packages alongside flights. Slightly more expensive but if it kicks off again def covered and will get our money back. Idk just something else to distract me from work.

Re day planning - I had my day planned out and week. I got the planned stuff done not even 2pm, went onto stuff later in week and onto staff to do. They share their lists and I often pick something low priority/ low urgency do it for them. They like it, something off their list/ mind and I get something done that wouldn't happen for a while. Possibly sounds mad but I like to see them smile lol. I do get a bit compulsive about work sometimes always see something else. Not really done any finance stuff on the work side don't need to. Sometimes it's just tiding up standard docs etc stuff that often gets neglected and I want to present well to my clients. When I get in the zone I get a buzz from the work it's compulsive tbh can't leave it alone fall out with wife because I won't eat dinner with her etc. I know it's not entirely normal mate and my brain is wired a bit funny.

Personal finances - I just want to win mate know nothing needs to change and it's no competition but get someone saying they're living on £25/m or whatever and I start running scenarios again - can I beat them/ and smash personal goals basically. People on here telling me this is not normal but I can't see beyond who doesn't want to smash their personal goals? I do always have done this is a bit of a new one for me tbf clearing the debts down but I don't want to be the loser in the game iyswim.

£8k/m, growth retained, unwinding PGs 100% my goals summed up in one. 🙂

Thanks re 0% that's what I think generally then get doubting myself reading stuff on here often. Idk always looking for improvement.

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver I'm not sure if you're trying to be obtuse re growth but don't think so as you don't seem like that? I'm not sure what it is you don't understand though it's very simple - I don't take 100% from the business never have. Element of retained profits in main business, feed into property side. Property side I don't take 100%. Comm property never took a penny. Res property take around 1/2 profits after expenses and maintenance fund accounted for. Will be on better rates very soon but won't be taking anymore. Growth in main business - additional resources / building client base all going to be retained to feed into property (likely) or something else.

@RelievedSheff Ha I don't know how you switch off so easily mate I wish I could sometimes tbh.

@warby68 'Missing your slot' 100% love that definitely what it is. Don't love the fact you're a dodgy sleep too I know how rubbish it is ha but kind of nice to see someone relates. Helping myself sometimes I don't I know. Didn't yesterday over stimulated on nothing but work / mind working overdrive. 

When I start on the scenarios games I can't stop I don't even know why I do it half the time tbt just compulsive.

You've mentioned this van for work thing before - I'm not that side of the game mate from what I can tell your husband is a builder. I can see it from the dev side tbf but I'm not really that involved from the graft side of that either iyswim. I don't need a van. Accountant keeps telling me to get an IPace or something for work as that's def efficient on the tax/ fuel etc. I get it from a financial point of view but would mean I have to drive an IPace around and wife would get the RR everyday I would miss it. IPace no where near as nice inside, slightly quicker 0-60 but no soul idk just doesn't seem right to me - me working and she gets the RR whilst I'm running about in an IPace. Maybe just my problem lot of people I know in business are doing it now getting the IPace / Tesla / whatever for the work.

I know where you're coming from. I hate losing always have, why I get so hung up about the business and my res home a lot of the time know there's people doing better so I want to do better in business and in life. Accepted I'm not going to be a winner in business I'm no Elon Musk lol, accepting that = accepting not going to win in life but need to work out exactly which level is optimistically achievable for me and try to be ok with that.

Kakiste

As the person who said the £25/m figure; it really wasn't meant as a competitive thing. More a 'food for thought' given your wife felt her budget was harsh. 

We're doing a hugely frugal approach to everything so that next year we'll be debt free. We've a lot to catch up on- early 30s and still renting, never taken 6 year old daughter on foreign holiday etc. So it was our decision to get out of debt as fast as humanely possible and then be able to have a much better quality of life from next year onwards. We don't have to take that approach and could live far more comfortably but it would take 5-6 years to pay all the debt off and we'd rather have a shorter more uncomfortable period and then be far better off.

enthusiasticsaver

Apologies.  I thought you meant BTL portfolio which I thought you were taking all the income from after allowing for tax, maintenance etc?  As you say you have the main business growth. 

alt80

@Kakiste I can appreciate it likely wasn't meant as a competitive thing. Sometimes my brain skews stuff tbh start thinking maybe I'm missing something idk.

@enthusiasticsaver no worries, I take 50% of the res BTL profit. Fairly certain I've mentioned that before but possibly wasn't clear about it.

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver no worries, I take 50% of the res BTL profit. Fairly certain I've mentioned that before but possibly wasn't clear about it.

I possibly missed that as there are so many figures flying about your diary over the last 6 months.  50% is not bad.  Ignore my comment about growth then but it does show when the debt is repaid and the RR balloon sorted you will have more than £1k back a month towards lifestyle plus of course the RR finance once paid off gives you another £1k although that may go towards your fun car.  

ladyholly

I allow myself  £10 pw which I use for odd ebay postage. ( I sell regularly as my brother in law has given me a lot of the stuff that my sister was going to sell from my mums house. Most is posted on Monday as I time items to end Sunday but sometimes people pay late or I get an offer.) or for top up shop the odd treat etc. Anything left is put away for any pricier items either of us needs. This currently stands at about £100.

theoretica

alt80 said:

@theoretica Tbh I think I’m doing him a favour letting him drive me in the Range bit of a treat really for him. You possibly think I’m just being a !!!!!! for the sake of it idk. Wife and I not going to get many opportunities for a bit of luxury this year chauffeur driven to airport with champagne and a film I think would be a nice treat for her even if it is in my own car. 

Nah - just very used to putting your own wants first.  I personally wouldn't see six hours driving any vehicle as anything near a treat, but I'll take your word for it in the case of your mate. But even so one offers treats and asks for favours and discusses how things will happen, not just decide for yourself.

warby68

No not a builder but construction related. He isn't hands on and doesn't 'need' a van. Its just choice. The others I was referring to are property developers, owners of large portfolios and professionals with portfolios on the side like you not builders as such. All trundle round in something basic that they don't mind getting muddy and doesn't look out of place on sites or draw attention in rough areas to be fair.  

Took I -Pace for a test drive a couple of years ago. It turned heads for sure but 'silent' cars were new then. I did like the way it pushes your head back when your foot goes down, and the sound effects lol but I'm easily pleased, as long as there is a bit of ooomph when you put your foot down I'm happy. I agree its not the nicest looker. You're still looking at fairly high end stuff for the 2nd car I note. Hard for you to 'come down' I know but still worth weighing up the 'value' aspect to see if you could actually live with sensible for the financial benefit. Would make a fun car easier to get in the medium term as well. Sooner or later your money head is going to start winning some of these internal debates. Don't forget, if you drive something 'lesser' some of the time it makes you appreciate the nice one even more when you get back in it.