First Steps to Solvency

shoppingobsessed2020

Can you buy any of the champagne on an offer when one of the supermarkets has 20% or similar off when you buy 6 bottle?  More expensive initially but then reduces costs over the months if your disciplined enough not to tank it all.  It’s what I do when his lordship is away as can get a couple of decent cases of red for a reasonable cost.

ryanm8655

annabanana82 said:

I can't help but feel the OP is taking a fair bit of flack at the moment, and maybe a bit unfairly, its early days and he has made some great progress. He's gone from  not wanting to give up any cars to getting rid of his F-Type.
He hasn't held back that he feels under stress, from his last thread it was when he was feeling more stressed that his posts tended to vent about his wife's spending, regardless of whether it's fair or not better he do it here than to his wife.

Also his son is 6, he doesn't need to be in private schooling at the moment so seems a bit unfair to cast aspersions on his love for his Son. 

Seconded.

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

You might think it's childish / selfish or whatever but I earn the money might as well enjoy the toys.

The cars are not bought with money you earned. You have taken out PCP deals so you will never own them. 

alt80

Thanks everyone - been a lot calmer today. Had a long conversation with wife to say this is what we're dealing with and I really want to get rid of the cards and investment property propping our lifestyle up right now. I admitted I haven't been buying any more property because I can't afford to do so also this is the point we need to get it under control or if we can't one day it could get to the point of losing our home all because we both like nice things a bit too much. I've been too proud to admit that to my own wife pathetic really. Though we have spoken about it I don't really think she could see what a problem it is over the long term - she didn't go through the grad job on a sh*t wage so no real lines of credit all your money going on your mortgage and in the tank of a 150k mile f**ked custard yellow E36 M3. Those were the days lol you can keep your supercars there was nothing quicker on the roads round here than that gem. 

I don't want to be one of those guys having a heart attack at 55 because I've lived my entire life under too much stress she understood that told her we need to start supporting each other more neither of us are still in out 20s out to impress. She spends her life trying to look 'unreal' still feeling not enough because some 20 year old on instagram is more 'perfect' than she was at that age. More fake let's face it cosmetic enhancements are more readily available now. I spend my life wanting to get to the next level never appreciate what I've got financially f**king myself for bigger toys. Nothing will ever be enough for me and I'm not going to be the next Donald Trump as much as I'd like to it's not going to happen. She's convinced I'll run off with some Love Island reject if I got the opportunity and I'm convinced she'd run off with the first guy who could offer her a better lifestyle - time we both grew up a bit.

Spent £8 on coffee today that is all. Nice run out nowhere near shops reminded the Range Rover is just as nice to be driven in as to drive, good walk and rather than give the f-type a beating I helped wife make a roast dinner. Stress level lowest its been since lockdown. 🙂

alt80

@shoppingobsessed2020 that's a good idea. We are both fairly disciplined re alcohol. Both like a drink but it's not a massive part of our lives so that would work thanks.

@enthusiasticsaver tbf need to stop having 3 cars on pcp - already dealt with 1. The Range Rover I do fully intend to own pay the balloon off rather than swapping for a new one. BMW tbf we won't own that hopefully swapping for something we will own when paid for though.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Sounds like you're having some more honest conversations with your wife, which is great.  Sounds like her insecurities lie in her looks and yours in your status symbols (cars/houses) and you both worry too much about what others think.  There'll always be someone more attractive and richer always.  You just need to be happy for yourselves and each other, money and looks don't buy happiness.  That sounds very twee, but I think it's true.

alt80

@ohdearhowdidthathappen Yeah I'd say that's fairly accurate - I've admitted the mindset is our main problem and why we're in this mess. I've always been far too proud to admit I can't afford something. Can't think of anything more shameful than admitting that in public tbf and it's not done me any favours at all. Don't want my son to grow up like this its awful can never win constantly wondering if you'll be 'found out' and juggling credit to enhance your lifestyle beyond your means. I know I earn a decent amount of money but I'd be mortified if anyone knew for certain I didn't have a five figure/m income. Spent about an hour looking at houses today - not ones I can flip / rent, ones I'd like to own for me all deep into seven figures. It was the only hour today I felt my stress levels rising - how can I get the money together for that feeling.  Frankly this is why I need the counselling.

getmore4less

Will never be a Donald Trump...

The man that is all fluff, image and gone bankrupt a few time. 

ryanm8655

getmore4less said:

Will never be a Donald Trump...

The man that is all fluff, image and gone bankrupt a few time. 

Haha, yes. And started out rich anyway thanks to inheritance. But I assume OP means the lifestyle rather than the business acumen and personality.

rugbymadfamily

So glad to hear you and your wife had an honest conversation about things. Sounds like you both have some insecurities about your relationship...is it worth a few sessions of couples counselling? My husband and I have found that a few sessions every so often really helps us talk through any issues that crop up, don't know why but it is easier to talk with someone else there sometimes (especially someone whose job is literally to be non-judgemental). I found the sessions made it easier for us to have difficult financial / personal discussions as we were better at communicating. Anyway, thats an aside from finances, but worth thinking about.

Good work on the weekend spends. I know what you mean about looking at houses you can't currently afford but would be the dream home. But its about recognising that you are making yourself a bit stressed by looking at it and walking away to do something else, so shut the website down, go have a coffee with your wife / find your son for a short activity / anything else that distracts you. As time goes by you will find yourself spending less time doing it and hopefully not miss looking and feel less stressed....its how I weaned myself off social media! Although now I spend my time on here instead lol.