First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver thanks. I worked out I've probably spent about £80k on it total. £100k max but fairly sure the £80k more accurate. So just over £4k/y, some more than others etc. Total waste.

@katsu ever the trier haha. Yeah know what you mean about alcohol just happens to be legal ha.

Enjoy having greater focus/ control in business. Driving but that's going. Enjoy the exercise but don't get a massive rush from it like some do. 

Legs21

You need to stop number crunching the past. It’s gone, deal with it and move on. Stop dragging it into your future along with the sack load of regrets you insist on carrying around with you. Leave them in the past where they belong.

The feelings you have are just that ‘feelings’, you’re not in physical pain. You need to learn to turn those negative feelings into positive ones.

You also need to find an activity/hobby that will completely take your mind away from work. It doesn’t necessarily have to be some big manly sport hobby thing, could end up being something simple but don’t knock anything until you’ve tried it. How do you know you won’t like it until you’ve tried it.

getmore4less

We can all look back at things we could have done better or different often those lost opportunities are gone and can't be undone just have to learn from them.

When you look a bit harder you find there are not only things you have done  but things you didn't do. 

Don't be that person that looks back in 5 years and regrets not giving up the substances.

The small rewards come with a heavy price. 

You were making good progress on repairing relationships they may not give the high(for a few hours) but they don't come with the lows(days). 
Keep reminding yourself how good you felt during those periods off it, that day your work people said there is a new you must have been the best feeling in the world, real people bigging you up. 

On the units, maybe think about a step back and look at more smaller projects quicker turnarounds spread risk might be more work and slimmer margins but keeps you busy and gets more starts and finishes in the pipeline.

You are still young and have plenty of time to turn things around once you get the momentum going.

Debt busting due to overspending is tough because you have to cut back to balance and then cut back the same again to pay it back in similar time it was building up.

If you can turn this round in 3 years to a paid for RR and debt free without any changes in the business that is fantastic, as it has been building up for longer than that, but does require the car change.

If you can engage with that plan, let it run, just play with the day to day priorities on the person spending you can focus on the business with all progress retained to get back into growth mode. 

From coasting for a few years what would be a good target for 2021.
Could you target growing 15%. 

One other thing that I have been thinking about is your core skill set and wonder if you are getting stretched a bit outside that and need to either bring people in or get more education. 
Often people grow outside their core with mentors but you have lost that support so might need to fill that gap. 

RelievedSheff

Well done on seeking some help and well done for realising it is an addiction. That is a big part of the battle.

No one is going to pretend that you are going to be on an easy journey, but as the days, weeks then months pass by and the brain fog lifts and the cravings ease, things will start to drop into place. Life will start to get just that bit easier each day.

I do agree with the post above. There is very little point dwelling on the past. What is done is done and you can't change the past but what you can do is change is your future path for you and your family. With the debt gone and your addiction a distant memory you will be in a great position to give yourself and your family a good lifestyle. 

alt80

Had some sleep not amazing amount but something to build on.

No plans to spend/ drink/ use today. Downloaded addiction app and plan to start working through the stuff I’ve been given to do through counselling on a more serious basis. Allowed myself to say I’ve no time for it found plenty of time to sniff the powder though. Priorities need to shift.

Today’s calendar task is to take a small step towards an important goal. - Going to get another of the counselling tasks done,

Hobby- my initial plan was to make my family my ‘hobby’ outside work. Found that became challenging because I only wanted to do coke and obsess over debts around my business which I wasn’t able to run as I wanted. Still not feeling the hobby thing tbt.

Business- yeah one of the reasons I’ve been struggling to get to next level is definitely a lack of mentorship and tbt getting out of my depth. Valuing property I can do. Other aspects I can do but feeling I can’t move on to next level because yeah I lack the skill tbh has turned me more to the coke than to do something about it. Even looked at doing an MBA once hoping I found some knowledge on the strategic level decided I’d rather spend my time on the chang and getting myself into further debt. No better feeling in the world than it all running like a machine and my staff saying that I’ve improved. Only thing I can think of is my wife telling me something similar feeling like we’re going to make it as a couple- neglected that much more and on a whole different level to business. My son having his best birthday ever because I’d bothered to give my time. Card debt lower than in the past 15 years apart from after the refinance. There’s been some positives to this past year I’m actually really grateful for some of the posts I’ve received on here, motivated by wanting to pay my debts but have had advice that has changed my way of thinking about stuff and had a glimmer of a better future that’s why I still post feel if I carry on posting still some hope of getting myself out of debt (personally- no hope on the units haha but my strategy is to use debt although even had some hope for working towards no PGs).

Units- 100% agree big blocks again are into the future I actually prefer the smaller quicker turnaround jobs. Or do right now.

enthusiasticsaver

Have a great day and good luck with your counselling task. Reaching out to some suitable (clean) possible mentors or previous friends you can talk property, cars or whatever with sounds like that could be good for you in the future. It is important not to overload yourself with tasks though as that can cause stress. Also no point in looking back at money you have wasted, just look forward. If you feel yourself wanting to use then use the chill app, go for a walk, do a gym workout, do anything to keep your mind off it. Doing an MBA is not the worst idea in the future if you think it would be useful to you and you won't get stressed. 

RelievedSheff

You sound in a whole better frame of mind today.

I hope you have a good day  

ladyholly

Nothing to stop you going for an MBA now. It will give you something to concentrate on and is somethingyou are interested in. Never to old to learn before you say it. I didnt get the chance to go to university for various reason but eventually got a degree with the OU whilst working as well as I could afford to stop. When people say find a hobby it can be something like family history research, looking at the history of something you are ineterested in, it doesnt have to be a pratical skill like wood work. Anything to act as a distraction from the cravings.

getmore4less

I saw the buzz you got from another valuation job, that was a sign you struggle with some other aspects of business as you never really mention them much.

I think this is part of your control issues you can't let go and share the load on the things you can do and feel you need to do but others could do better.
This will be seriously stressful and trigger some of your failure thoughts.
Like the finance you can no longer push this out of your mind and ignore you need to work on solutions. 

I can't say what the best solution is going to be but is something you need to work on, you employ accountant(s), you employ property management people, there are going to be others, think about where else you need help and how to get it.

Do you get involved in any of the business support networks operated through the council and government good places to get surrounded by positive people from other walks of life that have the same issues as you growing business .

I don't have a problem with your BTL gearing you have good yields and income cover over costs, you said you have good retained pot  and are drawing what I recall was 6% ROI(equity) which is good and once the main business grows you can look at more retained.
Smart choices for new units should help improve the situation, better rates and reduce the PG exposure. 

alt80

Don’t think I need another thing to stress over right now tbh. 

@getmore4less as I’m being honest with myself you’re right re business. Some of it is my mindset I think - I see myself as a commercial valuer with a business and few units. The business grew fairly quickly in the early days, use to be involved with the business support networks etc really enjoyed it actually. Fell by the wayside about 4/5 years ago along with everything else big !!!!!! pattern emerging here ha. 

Wasn’t referring to you re BTL mate - others on here have commented about the leverage and my attitude to mortgaged property.