First Steps to Solvency

theoretica

You seem resistant to the idea of adding new things - but it happens throughout life, some activities stop (eg doing the DIY yourself, wild nights out) others need to come in or you are left with not enough to do and getting stale through repetition. If you model yourself on other people, look at the number of high earning business people who play golf, or lounge around in the sun doing things that might seem unproductive at that moment but in many cases help them be on top form for work when they need to be.

Actively pursuing learning around business, whether formally as an MBA or starting by reading and looking at online courses sounds promising - also something you could do in the same room as your family of an evening.

alt80

Nothing I’ve ever wanted more than to be successful in business but I have got control issues and can’t let go of some elements of it so my time gets taken away with fee earners. Sometimes do the jobs these days because it keeps me off the chang generally. Need to have quite a level head to do the work - lot of factors to consider, it’s not just a case of as the school dad put it being a ‘jumped up estate agent’. I am involved in agency and not knocking that side of it at all - I enjoy being involved with it too. No real !!!!!! wonder I’m not making massive inroads into growth when I’ve stopped engaging with the mentors and need to have a unit to value to keep me away from having a sniff. FML. Worse still only thing that brings me up a bit if I’m ‘having a break’ is spending a !!!!!! tonne of money on stuff and cars hence the ever ongoing debt scenario. 

Some picked up on here re wife I didn’t really want to get into it tbh but I used to get off on the fact at not even 30 I had for want of a better word, a ‘trophy wife’. I wasn’t very nice tbh in my head she wasn’t going to work outside the home she was going to work like a !!!!!! on and around it. I know exactly what it was I’m not like that anymore unless I’m on the chang then I’m !!!!!! of the highest order. No one has more guilt and regrets it more than I do when I’m off it. I didn’t want to own up to it but think it’s become obvious with my posts. Got into some debt through buying her stuff and taking her on holidays to ‘make up’ for my behaviour tbh. Yeah I know it doesn’t. 

100% know I need to sort my head out re debts and the rest or going to just keep spiralling.

downshifted

If an MBA seems too much all at once take a look at the free open university courses, there’s most likely something there that would benefit your business and interest you

ryanm8655

Yeah, I personally wouldn’t commit to an MBA right now, I’d wait until you have other things under control. Does sound like it’s a good idea though and it’s also a great way of expanding your network and funding potential mentors if you do the right one...that’s why the best ones are so expensive...

alt80

No not looking to add another commitment need to work on getting my head together, building on what I have and debts gone. Got enough on with the counselling ‘homework’. 😆

@theoretica fair point tbh. Know I need to get a bit of a work/life thing going on. I get to weekend and if I don’t work I’m straight on the chang, no point in trying to cover it up anymore ha. Had a few weekends with family find it really hard to make the move to do it but do actually enjoy it when I bother. It’s weird don’t know why I do everything I can to avoid them tbf.

@downshifted I did one of those over lockdown 1 lol.

@ryanm8655 100% mate. I am quite interested for the future but def not right now.

RelievedSheff

What are your plans for this weekend?

warby68

I wouldn't commit to anything else major right now either.
You need to give getting clean a big focus. I know living well around it will be important too, but it has to be given top priority so perhaps other things should just tick over for now. Also you want to be making good decisions in future, which probably means clean ones.

anon_2020

@alt80 if you find the bottle to go to your first NA meeting I'm more than confident you'll be hit with a major shock of recognition. Focus on the similarities rather than the differences between your story and what you hear in the meeting and you'll realise you share a common problem with the other people there. If you share a common problem then it follows that the solution they have found can also work for you.
What do you have to lose at this point anyway (apart from your business, your wife, your relationship with your son, your goddamn FF RR - are you 100% confident you'll still have all these things a year from now if you don't make some serious changes?)
Don't write it off after a single meeting - commit to going to half a dozen before you make a decision. And don't worry about the God thing: it's probably not quite what you're thinking.
Good luck man.

ryanm8655

anon_2020 said:

@alt80 if you find the bottle to go to your first NA meeting I'm more than confident you'll be hit with a major shock of recognition. Focus on the similarities rather than the differences between your story and what you hear in the meeting and you'll realise you share a common problem with the other people there. If you share a common problem then it follows that the solution they have found can also work for you.
What do you have to lose at this point anyway (apart from your business, your wife, your relationship with your son, your goddamn FF RR - are you 100% confident you'll still have all these things a year from now if you don't make some serious changes?)
Don't write it off after a single meeting - commit to going to half a dozen before you make a decision. And don't worry about the God thing: it's probably not quite what you're thinking.
Good luck man.

Couldn’t echo this enough. I imagine it to be much like counselling, takes some warming to it but if you commit to it, it can be invaluable.

alt80

Lockdown will not tighten been announced this afternoon. Very pleased with that.

Had a Starbucks (expensed) this afternoon, ordered a decaf with an extra shot lol. !!!!!! embarrassing that was with a member of staff too ha but trying to keep to the no caffeine after lunch. Sat on lower half of rr tailgate, sun out, my life not the worst really def people worse off than me. 

@RelievedSheff I’m working Saturday all day. Sunday going to do roast pork dinner, sort the new Lego/ photo challenge out with son. Wife gradually building her running back up with the foot physio guidance so will go with her and take the dog for a walk. Cokeheads meeting lol. Anxious about Sunday already tbh.

@warby68 I agree not sure if a subtle ‘now !!!!!! please’ there lol but no def want no extra commitments right now. I’ve been having a lot of issues with the commitments I have tbh.

@anon_2020 thanks mate have been doing a bit of reading around the ‘god’ thing from what I can tell it’s more to do with being less selfish and seeing yourself as some kind of ‘god’ ha idk maybe I’m wrong. 100 can’t deal with god god; I’m an evangelical atheist I’m afraid haha. Trying it over 6/8 weeks is a good call thank you.

Might have come across this way but I’m no snob, some of the things I’ve written I think it was more I didn’t want the whole ‘drug addict’ label to have my name on it tbh. 

I know things could get a whole lot worse if I don’t do something same goes for the debts tbh. Relationship idk think that’s probably shot for good tbh mate just waiting for inevitable there I think who knows.

@ryanm8655 think you’re probably right mate. I’ve struggled enough with the counselling wasted my time a bit tbh haven’t properly engaged just gone through motions hoping it’ll miraculously fix me haha.