First Steps to Solvency

alt80

RelievedSheff said:

alt80 said:

Just made mistake of saying to my secretary not feeling well could be coming down with flu or something. 😆😆😆 You need covid test she kept saying told her don’t think it’s covid. Couldn’t really say yeah def not covid been on the chang in national lockdown. Probably going to need to have covid test just to satisfy my staff I’m not infectious. Really don’t want some stick down my throat and up my nose. FML. Wife says it serves me right. 

Wife is right on that one  

@RelievedSheff yeah she is lol.

enthusiasticsaver

You sound like you are addicted so you really need some professional help.  Not knowing about this stuff I would not have a clue how to get hold of it but can you not block the number you normally call so you cannot access the stuff?  Have you tried NA? That is a bigger problem than the debt so you really need to take this seriously and stop trying to convince yourself you do not have a problem with it.  Same with alcohol as you seem to have the addiction gene this is a dangerous path for you to go down.  You need to take your health seriously.  

enthusiasticsaver

I would not touch the student market at the moment.  

getmore4less

Addicted to more than just the powder.
If you think you are not that needs to change.

People in your workplace, may not know the detail, will know something is going on.

efes_shareholder

i think you have identified a dependency on the stuff and enjoy the feeling it gives you , thats obvious otherwise the urge to have it wouldn't be so great HOWEVER  as much as its an upper to your mood its a massive downer when you are on a come down so the natural reaction in these circumstances is try and regain that high. i think it potentially is a problem and is something I think you should seek help with , that doesn't mean sitting in a room of druggies , it just means accepting that its a bigger issue then what you currently see.
I have an addicitve personality , I like a drink and I now vape after struggling with nicotine over the years. I also used to have a joint every night to help me get off to sleep and to relax however I did start to feel like I was becoming dependent on it and had to cease before it became the only way I could sleep, Because I know my addictive nature I had to do this , I have a big family of cousins and 5 of those have all at some point been dependent on Herion , Now I'm not saying that you would even contemplate that stuff but I would say is that they all started with something considered not as "addicitve" but equally damaging , Once the high can no longer be acheived from things such as weed , Charlie or speed , they move on to what else is there.
Ultimately the dependency on these substances costs , it costs trust , money , relationships , its a destroyer of anything good around you.
three of my cousins beat their addictions but often find it a challenge not to slip back , one in particular still accesses the facilities she used when admitting the extent of her problem. One is beyond help and will probably die an addict after draining whatever she can from her family , either by manipulation or by deceit.

As I said I'm not suggesting that you are in danger of this and I'm not preaching but I do think you really need to be realistic about the problem otherwise it could become so destructive.

ladyholly

Why do you think you are out of place in a room full of druggies? If you cant stay away from it then I am afraid you are an addict and need to get help now for the sake of your wife and son as well as yourself. From what I can tell with what you have written you are on a slippery slope.

theoretica

alt80 said:

On the stuff I’d 100 convinced myself it was going to make an amazing addition to my portfolio wanted to get into student market. That’s the thing when I’m on it I am productive but everything feels like the best deal in the world and money no object at all. Actually do feel untouchable it’s amazing if I could get there without the stuff, for real that would be life made. I think that’s what I’m chasing.

Read back what you wrote - chasing a perpetual high and everything feeling like the best deal in the world?  That way lies bad decisions and you know it. 

A few years ago I had a ridiculous addiction experience which made me think about addiction and being an addict.  I gave up gluten.  Very disconcerting to discover I was running a whole raft of withdrawal symptoms and far, far harder than I expected to not reach for a biscuit.  Nearly burst into tears at the scent of new baked bread several times over the first year while laughing, because who cries about bread?  Nobody, myself included, would have described me before hand as a gluten addict, but my body definitely seemed to be addicted to the stuff (and my sleep, mood and general health improved no end coming off it!).

RelievedSheff

ladyholly said:

Why do you think you are out of place in a room full of druggies? If you cant stay away from it then I am afraid you are an addict and need to get help now for the sake of your wife and son as well as yourself. From what I can tell with what you have written you are on a slippery slope.

I think there is a common misconception that all drug addicts are heroin addicts or spice heads and the lowest of the low. This couldn't be further from the truth. There are addicts in all walks of life who are addicted to a whole range of substances.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in seeking help.

ryanm8655

RelievedSheff said:

ladyholly said:

Why do you think you are out of place in a room full of druggies? If you cant stay away from it then I am afraid you are an addict and need to get help now for the sake of your wife and son as well as yourself. From what I can tell with what you have written you are on a slippery slope.

I think there is a common misconception that all drug addicts are heroin addicts or spice heads and the lowest of the low. This couldn't be further from the truth. There are addicts in all walks of life who are addicted to a whole range of substances.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in seeking help.

Agreed, plenty of “druggies” and alcoholics working in the city...

There’s a lot of stigma attached to being an addict and this idea that you’re only an addict if you’re homeless, or doing heroin or can’t hold down a job. It’s not alcoholism if you live in a nice house and only drink nice wine...

Not saying @alt80 is an addict btw, not really a diagnosis you can make over a forum I guess. Clearly need to keep away from it though and seek whatever help you need to do that! It only exacerbates everything else negative in your life, leads to poor decision making etc. Reading about it, if you’ve naturally got that dopaminergic brain then cocaine is going to make that even worse. It’s highly addictive and know of plenty of people who’s lives have been ruined by it.

Purplelady65

I’ve no idea how much you’ve spent on this stuff as I’ve no idea how much it costs. Is it out of your variable spends budget? I don’t think you’ve much cause for complaint about your wife spending money on make-up, which you’ve done many times on here, when you’re wasting money on drugs and risking your health and future. If your wife hates your drug use and you’ve promised many times not to use it again and then do I can fully understand her wanting to buy things just to cheer herself up a bit. If you don’t sort this out soon it’s going to become difficult to keep this hidden from your son as he grows up. Did you say you were already having counselling for substance abuse? I think on one of your posts you said you now have two counsellors?