First Steps to Solvency

Willowtree222

It's frustrating when you have to put some more back in the debt.
Could you leave extra payments until the 25th so you're not in this position again?
No point me mentioning being back on it, you'll be making yourself feel worse than anyone else can. 
You've got choices though. Move on and fight yourself to not do it again or sit going over the guilt. This journey was never going to be a straight road. It's like a lifelong rollercoaster without any bars to hold you in on the turns. You either cling on through the !!!!!! and get to the straight or your let go and give in. 
Ask yourself what means more. Debt free, balanced family life or the abuse you give yourself when you're on the stuff and making reckless decisions. 
None of us on here can tell you or show you what you're worth isn't what you own. You have to see it. We're all full of help and advice from our own experiences but as you know it comes from inside you.

theoretica

For old car stories - my grandad first drove a model T Ford.  Up to 25 mpg apparently.

alt80

No way should I still be up. !!!!!! my sleep pattern completely. 

@Nicnak thanks. 

Re extra payments I’ve already made it. I basically made a drunk credit card overpayment. 😆 yeah laughing at myself too. FML. 

Debt free balanced family life but happy within myself too would be my dream tbh that’s made it really. 

@theoretica better than my range then lol.

thanks for comment earlier re car/ covid making me reassess. Probably could use it as a ‘friend’. 

Willowtree222

You have your goal and you're working towards it. You are having counselling, paying off the debts, and changing a lot of your thinking with regards to debt. It just doesn't happen overnight as much as we all want it to. 
Hope today is a better day. 

RelievedSheff

There are ups and downs in any journey to debt freedom. Don't beat yourself up about it. So long as the general balance is going down you are heading in the right direction.

There will be ups and downs in family life as well. There always are. Just wipe the slate clean again, forget about the last few days and start afresh again.

Today is a whole new day. Hope it is a good one for you.

alt80

Thanks both. Ups and downs yeah just most done involve doing coke. FML wish I’d never touched the stuff, feeling tired, unproductive and generally !!!!!! all I want to do now def isn’t speaking to counsellor. Know I need to. Know I’m an idiot for doing it again starts the whole crappy cycle off again. Sound like a !!!!!! addict. No work today still in bed feeling like !!!!!! all I’ll want to do tomorrow is work try to make up for it know I might end up back on it work like a !!!!!! when I’m on that !!!!!! amazing if it lasted without the comedown. No !!!!!! idea why I’m writing this on here haha because wife won’t listen to me rambling on probably lol.

New day agreed try to leave it alone try not thing about debts today I think too. At the moment just get excited want to !!!!!! them off ASAP haha. One day at a time I’m not very good at.

Willowtree222

You keep referring to not being an addict. Are you trying to convince us or yourself? 
If it's a worry you need to address it 

alt80

Just made mistake of saying to my secretary not feeling well could be coming down with flu or something. 😆😆😆 You need covid test she kept saying told her don’t think it’s covid. Couldn’t really say yeah def not covid been on the chang in national lockdown. Probably going to need to have covid test just to satisfy my staff I’m not infectious. Really don’t want some stick down my throat and up my nose. FML. Wife says it serves me right. 

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Just made mistake of saying to my secretary not feeling well could be coming down with flu or something. 😆😆😆 You need covid test she kept saying told her don’t think it’s covid. Couldn’t really say yeah def not covid been on the chang in national lockdown. Probably going to need to have covid test just to satisfy my staff I’m not infectious. Really don’t want some stick down my throat and up my nose. FML. Wife says it serves me right. 

Wife is right on that one  

alt80

Horrid day don’t even know how I got through yesterday tbh. Not even got out of bed. I know lol. Read an article about some girl who quit her job as a solicitor in London to live on a canal boat with !!!!!! all takes a shower once a week. FML that’s one of the grimmest things I’ve ever read. Read stuff like that and feel a bit better about my own life haha.

Don’t trust myself to stay off the stuff tbh not good. Bit worried I keep turning to it. No trust in myself not to do it again so in a bit of a bad place even thought about going to a meeting lol. Probably won’t don’t want to be sat in a room full of druggies. Longer without it less want for it hope that’s the case and stick with the counselling. It’s a waste of money and doesn’t help 100 not worth it. I know that.

Take risks I shouldn’t when I’m on it too earlier in the week agreeing to buy a hmo that was really stupid lol. Only productive thing I’ve done ran figures on that one. It works but just come to conclusion it’s not the time for it and student market is weird at the moment for obvious reasons so risky time to take it on lender pool is restricted too right now. On the stuff I’d 100 convinced myself it was going to make an amazing addition to my portfolio wanted to get into student market. That’s the thing when I’m on it I am productive but everything feels like the best deal in the world and money no object at all. Actually do feel untouchable it’s amazing if I could get there without the stuff, for real that would be life made. I think that’s what I’m chasing. Enough money to have it made not worrying about finances business or personal. Know the better times come with patience and putting business first. Should have done that 100% and shouldn’t be where I am now. Need to learn to get over the regrets or I go down the self destructive path again. Likewise the personal stuff - if I ever get the AM life it will be sweeter if it comes from organic growth rather than forcing another finance deal through ASAP. Know that just feel like !!!!!! about how long it’ll take me to get there now.