First Steps to Solvency

FootyFanDan

Sorry to read your feeling a bit low again mate, try focus on the here and now. Its very hard I know cos you have a business to think of and going on previous history what happens in Scotland generally follows here, but in your position I would try not worry on stuff out of your control and deal with the stuff when it happens. I know that is easier said than done as it affects your business, but you have enough that you can control consuming your thoughts to be worrying about stuff you can't,

I agree re what others have said about the car / summer, the people who matter won't even mention it. The ones that do mention it are the ones who's opinions are not in your best interests. I think alot of decisions made financially (certainly from a personal finance) are ones you have made due to how you think people will see you. In my opinion you need to try influence the ones who matter in your life (ur family) if they are happy and content there opinions are the ones that matter.  You have to be happy as well too of course but there needs to be some sort of balance at the minute your either very chilled and in a good place or on the other end of scale and making erractic choices you then regret. Your heading in the right direction and as others have said this isn't a quick journey - you are trying to reverse years of spending and keeping up to a lifestyle...your wife is again adjusting there is going to be bumps along the way.

Any way out of the choice you made last night?

getmore4less

It took couple of months to get a decent plan in place, although they need review the fundamentals we're pretty solid for a good 24month stint. 

The key is still until the income goes up the plan has no new majors. 

Primary objectives I recall were along the lines of

Consolidation of the BTL business to grow and reduce gearing(reduce PG) 

Grown the main business, retain to make it more robust until uncertainty relaxes. 

Look for decent projects with good return and/or yield potential. 

Cutback the personal finances till All debt gone including RR balloon. 

Park for at least 2 years any idea of moving(5 year fix good) 

Work on improved personal relationships. 

If you look back you went from a few fully owned cars and a chunk of debt to 3 financed cars(~double the debt) a refinance of BTL property and a chunk of new debt in quite a short time. 

The recurring disrupting influence  now is the car thing. 

If there ever was a year you don't need loads of cars it's this year really would help if you can park that as well. 

Discuss the idea of delaying replacement of the BMW until people can go places again, gives time to confirm the options available through the company. 

Still thinking too much about how to manage/maintain the false image.

enthusiasticsaver

OK we are back on to the cars again are we? I suggest you take a deep breath and really start to think any decisions through that you are making at the moment as you are starting to sound a bit manic at the moment which no doubt is an effect of the substance abuse. Can you ring your counsellor? 

I think you have to accept that at the moment going hell for leather in acquiring new deals is not a great move.  There is every possibility restrictions may increase and that may affect your business and earning power temporarily and you have no safety net.  Initially you started this diary thinking that your income may suffer and you were worried about over leveraging so what has changed?  You seem to have gone from spending sprees in JL in the hundreds region to over committing on business deals presumably costing thousands when you should really be concentrating on sustainability and making your income secure for the immediate future or building a safety net. Getting the credit card debt down is one thing and living within a budget is another and you have done well with those.  However you still have no safety net and you are still over leveraging. 

The nonsense about what others think about your cars is like your wife on IG.  It is false and does not matter. So what if they give you grief about not having a fun car over the summer and we may still be in this semi lockdown anyway with these new variants of the virus so no guarantee the restrictions will reduce by then. 

the_end_of_the_rainbow

alt80 said:

So much for the early night. Went to bed, actually almost got to sleep now wide awake. Made an extremely poor decision to make an offer on another project - I wasn’t of entirely sound mind when I made the decision, Just fml I really need to sort myself out stop doing the stuff. The project isn’t a bad one but leaves things extremely stretched for me. I’ll be using a bit too much borrowed money and putting myself in a bit of a vulnerable position if the block won’t sell easily. All should be ok if the block sells quickly but latest Scottish announcement has massively spooked me. 

Getting far too excited about the units making some very poor decisions. Feeling desperate so far as clearing my personal debts goes too I can’t even think about the idea of putting my family before clearing cards. Can’t get the balances others have my head is full of needing more units and for that I need more capital and getting myself a fun car because the summers going to come and I’ve got mates with cars. It’s the only outlet I have that’s not too self destructive and I don’t want to lose it.

Family time gave me a distraction earlier positive I think. Almost wonder sometimes if I’m just going to implode. Don’t feel time on my side and getting desperate. 

@ladyholly we order main food shop online. I pick up bits, wife hates supermarkets. 

@TheAble no savings. Did have a very small amount of money put aside but paying ourselves that back now after Christmas. Re other points does make sense tbh mate. Don’t really want to admit that as I really want a fun car. 

@ryanm8655 shop online mate. 

I initially did spend the RR money (less actually) on the fun car - ftype. At the point I bought that I had a Range Rover sport that had just been fully paid for and an older BM owned outright too. Lost a 997 in deposit for the Jag. So yeah not great on the car front right now.

Location of your place is amazing mate. Know what you mean about feeling lucky to live where you do. 🙂

If the new project is at offer stage, what is stopping you from pulling out?  

anon_2020

@alt80 you're an addict and nothing is going to change for you in any meaningful way until you concede this to yourself and get some help.
I'm amazed no one has picked up on the fact that you were back on the coke last night. Classic addict behaviour - you manufactured a load of outrage at your wide to justify self-medicating with another binge. And now you're living the consequences yet again.
Check out ukna.org

warby68

I did but @alt80 knows the score - supposed to getting professional help already. I suggested he review that.
I don't think we can help with it any more, apart from indirectly. 
Its become clear how big a factor it is though so do agree its probably the biggest and first thing to fix now

theoretica

Don't ruin things by rushing! 

For cars and what will people say one answer could be 'actually my business is doing as it was, but Covid really spooked me'. 

alt80

Some parts of business gone mad think that’s why I’ve got too excited on the units was also worried about the FA which made me cautious before it all worked out though. Res Market has been on fire up here. Just kept getting more and more busy. Business going great felt like I was sorting myself out too gearing up for further growth and tbh thought BoJo done with taking corona seriously until it kicked off again. Want to stick with the plan but can’t seem to stay away from the self destructive stuff when I need to stay away. Felt level last week for first time in ages and spoiled it all. One day merged into next this week wasted so much for dry January. Spoke to counsellor, I feel it’s really working sometimes then I make wrong choices. Can’t get over how much I’ve lost and how bad it got. Yeah one point 2 cars outright. Never had all 3 together, had already bought the jag. Fair bit of card debt but that got really bad after I bought the jag. Ltv on BTL never been at the no pg stage but it was steady and below the only just about mortgageable stage until I refinanced a tonne of card debt. Put the ltv on the line to get these other projects now and was hoping to get the 75% remo bring the rate down a bit. !!!!!! dreaming to get the money back in time for the refinance. Don’t have any retained left in BTL now - all gone in deposits. Put money from main business on the line for project I’m probably just going to have to pull out off. Feel like I’m trying to cut my losses make up for past iyswim. Valuer side of me says I need to be much more careful and I’m 100% being an idiot but get on the chang and any concept of risk is gone. Don’t even know why I do it tbh sometimes worry I am drug addict idk probably not just can’t control myself.

Humdinger1

@alt80

Have been riveted to your thread, now read all the way through.  I'll get into my qualifications for posting later (maybe even later in this thread); at the risk of being accused of sheer brazen effrontery, can I say that I think both you and your wife have low self-esteem and this explains most of the behaviour you're struggling with.  I think what needs to happen - and huge congrats on the steps you've both taken so far - is that you both need the penny to drop that you both have intrinsic value as human beings; independent of how much money you have; how much access to credit you both have; how silky and desirable your lives look on social media; how much your son's school or your current or fantasy cars are costing.

The steps you've taken to address the root causes are impressive.  I think that the pandemic has stripped away the fantasy; dangerous illusions are now being seen for what they are by many people.  It's painful, there's no doubt - but can I say as someone who suffered some of what you're now going through, it can be done.  Didn't do the drugs - but partly because of my first husband's attitudes, did mix up the money I earned with my value as a human being.  When he walked out, leaving me with a 6 year old daughter, I had a crash course in reality.  Moved from the big house, sold the flash car, and settled down to serious budgeting.  Then, 8 years ago, 1 week before marrying my now husband, 2 clients went out of business, bouncing cheques for the total of 100k.  I was relying on that money to run and expand my business. Rather than go bust myself I paid everyone over a period of years, managed to put my child through private school years 7-11.  We've now paid off the mortgage and my daughter is at a state 6th form so the pressure has eased up.  As part of my changed mindset, I've trained as a volunteer debt coach while changing my professional sector too, luckily.  In my debt coach work, I've seen the power of the relentless marketing machine, there to convince people that they are only worth what they have.  One of my favourite lightbulb moments was when a client said to me that he now saw he'd spent money he didn't have on things he didn't need, all to impress people he didn't even like.  Your wife has been insulated from reality for years, partly by you, and it will take time to change that - and she has to want to change too.  Social media has a lot to answer to.


Can you both find a new interest to share?  I find that I do my best work when refreshed and think you do too.  I find business fascinating, but everyone needs a rest - my escapes are music, art, cooking, walking.  You'll find your own but I think you've already got impressive insight into your drivers; perhaps the sheer satisfaction of knowing that you're not being manipulated by people and forces who do not have your best interests at heart is worth considering?

Have subscribed and am cheering you on.  Humdinger

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Some parts of business gone mad think that’s why I’ve got too excited on the units was also worried about the FA which made me cautious before it all worked out though. Res Market has been on fire up here. Just kept getting more and more busy. Business going great felt like I was sorting myself out too gearing up for further growth and tbh thought BoJo done with taking corona seriously until it kicked off again. Want to stick with the plan but can’t seem to stay away from the self destructive stuff when I need to stay away. Felt level last week for first time in ages and spoiled it all. One day merged into next this week wasted so much for dry January. Spoke to counsellor, I feel it’s really working sometimes then I make wrong choices. Can’t get over how much I’ve lost and how bad it got. Yeah one point 2 cars outright. Never had all 3 together, had already bought the jag. Fair bit of card debt but that got really bad after I bought the jag. Ltv on BTL never been at the no pg stage but it was steady and below the only just about mortgageable stage until I refinanced a tonne of card debt. Put the ltv on the line to get these other projects now and was hoping to get the 75% remo bring the rate down a bit. !!!!!! dreaming to get the money back in time for the refinance. Don’t have any retained left in BTL now - all gone in deposits. Put money from main business on the line for project I’m probably just going to have to pull out off. Feel like I’m trying to cut my losses make up for past iyswim. Valuer side of me says I need to be much more careful and I’m 100% being an idiot but get on the chang and any concept of risk is gone. Don’t even know why I do it tbh sometimes worry I am drug addict idk probably not just can’t control myself.

I think you need to get a clear head and run the numbers on whatever you did last night if you’ve put down deposits etc. Don’t chase losses or do anything too risky. 

Look after yourself dude. You’ve obviously been struggling to resort to the self-destructive stuff but do need to take control of that by whatever steps necessary.