First Steps to Solvency

rugbymadfamily

Really great start, great work paying down debt and even better not adding to it because you were able to pay the RR insurance in full - well done!

warby68

£10k down in a. month is fantastic but bigger than that, you are getting very good at admitting you're wrong or at least in a very small minority (of one lol). When you started your threads, you were astonished that there wasn't much sympathy or agreement with you rather than a lot of people in a similar boat. Now, intellectually if not emotionally yet, you know what the better choices are and you get that your personal life and financial life are very much part of the same thing.
I STILL find the way you speak about your wife sometimes hard to deal with. Accepting a joint approach, that you actually shouldn't have 100% control when you're a bit rubbish,  and particularly both hide the true picture from her but still blame her for it will all be key. She clearly IS driven just differently than you and her lower risk appetite will stand you in good stead as a counterbalance. 
PS you mentioned LTV covenants - are these portfolio based or on individual sites and what are the triggers for revaluation? I think your business brain should work towards removing the high risk features from your LTV business . We're in very choppy waters economically for some time. Is there really no possibility to sell a couple and regroup? I don't see a private remortgage as a good fix and its a while away anyway but would a couple of sales of selected properties get you a better LTV and conditions? Free up a couple of sinking funds either for debt reduction or deposit on the next one? Working on this would be a good interim move and who knows, you might be able to reconsider the private remortgage which is far from in the bag anyway.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Figures update - November:

BC1 - £0
BC2 - £6670
M&S - £4840
Sainsburys - £7000
MBNA - £12040

Overdraft - £200 (by month end) (0%) - made a bit of a mistake. 

Total cards etc = £30,750

Emergency fund: £340. £170 budgeted + £170 holidays (can’t even leave the city right now ha so not going anywhere will start on holiday budget actually being a holiday budget in January but this will boost EF to £1k by year end). Actually feel quite positive about this. 

Range Rover insurance paid for in full - not by putting on a credit card either lol.

Excellent end to the month.

What's the next target?

mothsinmywallet_2

I think you need to add a nice positive Total Paid Off to that. 
It's an incredible achievement. 

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

Figures update - November:

BC1 - £0
BC2 - £6670
M&S - £4840
Sainsburys - £7000
MBNA - £12040

Overdraft - £200 (by month end) (0%) - made a bit of a mistake. 

Total cards etc = £30,750

Emergency fund: £340. £170 budgeted + £170 holidays (can’t even leave the city right now ha so not going anywhere will start on holiday budget actually being a holiday budget in January but this will boost EF to £1k by year end). Actually feel quite positive about this. 

Range Rover insurance paid for in full - not by putting on a credit card either lol.

That is a great start. Almost under £30k already. Amazing that selling stuff you don't want or need managed to bring it down by that much. Paying the RR insurance in full is a great way of saving. You always pay loads more by paying it monthly. Also pleased to see the emergency savings account is up and running. You should feel really proud of yourself and your wife for turning the situation round relatively quickly. 

Advantage to closing cards is you can no longer be tempted to spend on an empty one but you may need other 0% deals as I assume the other four cards won't be repaid by the time the existing deals finish. Do you actually have two separate BCs or are both deals on one card? 

Busy_Mee

I have been reading your diary over the last few days and didn't just want to read and run.

You have made such great progress. You are clearly a very intelligent and driven guy, you run your own business and earn £7k + a month. You have a very supportive wife and and lovely little boy who clearly adores you. You are successful by most people's standards and probably need to acknowledge that and pat yourself on the back for what you have achieved before the age of 40.

It does seem to have come at a cost and you have all the classic signs of burnout. So it is probably time to cut yourself a bit of slack, regroup and consolidate.

You have taken the eye of the ball with your personal finances but you have got the wit and resources to sort these quite quickly. The hard thing with easy credit is remembering it does all need to be paid back at some point.

Your battles with yourself sound exhausting. Your business brain knows what to do but you are constantly battling your emotional need to spend. Willpower is very difficult to exert and takes a lot of energy. You might find it easier to try and remove all the spending triggers. Unsubscribe to the emails from JL, car dealers and other marketing. Remove your credit card details from your shopping accounts. Remove temptation and make it harder to buy stuff. Don't shop as a leisure persuit, find something else to do.

if boredom is a trigger for spending, make plans. Hope is never a very effective financial strategy ( my favourite saying  ). Make plans for how you are going to pay the debt down, plans for growing your business, plans for buying the house with a swimming pool and maybe the AM for your 50 th Birthday  Set up spreadsheets and track your plans.

Your FIL is a pain. Mine is too, overbearing, interfering and opinionated. We found moving 30 miles away helped. Stopped him interfering in day to day stuff but near enough for the kids to spend time with their Grandparents, without them taking over. We have now outstripped FIL professionally, financially and brought up two great kids without his interference. He now asks us for advice. You just need to get your bad debt sorted and prove your FIL wrong   

And finally try and spend as much time as you can with your lovely family. You sound so much happier, and grounded when you do. Your little boy won't be little for ever, so enjoy this time together. Honestly the time just flies.

Wishing the best of luck with this (but you won't need it if you have a plan  )

alt80

Thanks all. 

Not in a great place this morning putting myself under a lot of pressure to clear a similar amount off the debts this coming month which I know will be nigh on impossible. Caught the panic this morning did go on chill app but didn’t do a lot. Didn’t sleep well and things still not great at home either. 

Going to spend day with son but wife decided she doesn’t want to be around me for the day. Last day before tier 3 thought she’d have made the effort but no. Worried about being with son for the day which sounds ridiculous I know. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had the guilt and regret hit me so hard I need a break - can’t do that when he’s with me alone. Know this is mental but obviously don’t want to lose it in front of him and start crying or something equally as stupid ha.

Definitely a constant battle not to spend - not sure I’ll ever fully break that literally a habit of a lifetime. Not taking him to JL if I did that I’d probably be ok and he’d probably be bored. Did consider cruising by AM not going to do it won’t help my mindset even though I’m sure son would like to see them lol. 

enthusiasticsaver

Good you have your son today even on your own but 8 year old boys like active stuff normally so hanging around JL doesn't sound like fun for him. If weather good how about a park or adventure hike in one of those lovely forests you have near you. I have my 5 year old GD today and she loves swimming, parks and arts and crafts so that is what we will be doing. 

enthusiasticsaver

Why don't you take him to see the fish at that garden centre Relieved Sheff talked about on her Diary? 

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver that’s where we are heading taking dog too lol. Then cafe lunch. He doesn’t need to be introduced to the spending life haha.