First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@PassElephant Think you might have a point. I’m constantly looking for highs down side of that is it’s stressful and often destructive. When I’m in that mindset, I usually can’t see an alternative which makes me more self destructive. Got my session with counsellor tomorrow hoping to feel as level headed as I do now.

The downer I’ve been in is still there in the background, just strong enough today to say ‘no’ to the part of my mind that wants to be destructive.

Someone mentioned letting go of control re business and personally. I lie to my wife because I think she only likes me for the lifestyle stuff / image I portray I suppose. Not done me any favours she’s the one person I should be able to be myself with and not the image I want to portray, also not doing me any favours in business because when I was really bad for being far too image conscious that my relationship with mentors went out the window in recent years. I hated the idea of them seeing / questioning weaknesses/ areas for improvement - exactly what I actually needed. Surprise surprise it’s when I’ve coasted and lead myself to further self destructive behaviours. 

alt80

mothsinmywallet_2 said:

Sounds like a great day. Glad your wife wanted to have dinner with you. 
And congratulations on the use of the word spaff. Excellent word and very much underused in my opinion. 

@mothsinmywallet_2 It’s been a good one. Meal out and a film with wife too so not too bad on that front.

Creative ways to get by the filter mate. Always have been above the rules, me.  

ryanm8655

Glad to read things are getting better and the mindset is improving week by week. You’ll have down days but over time things should become smoother. But I can sense the mindset changes gradually seeping through, bit by bit.

Reading your more recent posts as a whole vs your posts at the start of the journey, there is a world of difference. Things that were unfathomable then now aren’t. It’s great to see and something I’ve experienced with my own journey.

alt80

@ryanm8655 thanks mate. Tbf I think I should probably read back, bit scared to tbh as I’m sure there’s a lot of rants and f**k yous haha. You seem to have got the mindset made and whole life in front of you, think you know I’ve spent some time in envy of that. Have you found the stress levels have changed much as you’ve cleared the debt?

Never think I’m going to be a Kia driver haha 😉 but I do hope this is the start of some better years for me, had a few not so great ones so hopefully will turn a corner.

RelievedSheff

Glad you had a good day out with your son and that you all went out for a family meal together last night.

Looks like we will be joining you in tier 3 from tomorrow so looks like we will be having a cheap month as well!

warby68

Glad you had a good day, really glad. 
You can be really proud of pushing through the mood and going out anyway. That can be very hard to do.
That life can actually be good at a much lower spend level is starting to creep into your posts - something you didn't think was even possible before.
If you reread your diary you will see change - its not going to be linear but there is a very clear direction of travel. 
Keep going

Busy_Mee

I am so glad you had a good day. Your wife actually seems very supportive but please remember to acknowledge this and thank her for helping you through this. Tbh you can deal with a lot if you at least feel that is appreciated and you are loved.
Your son sounds like a happy little boy and you should be very proud of that.

alt80

Another bad nights sleep - weird corona dream... was in JL and everyone was being told they needed to get their stuff and being herded about as they were closing (suspected corona on premises lol). FML I know this lack of sleep massively affects my mindset so to be woken up with that was annoying to say the least. Wife thinks the dream is telling me to stay out of JL lol.

Wont be spending anything not expensed today neither will wife. Not really in the right mindset for counselling session definitely was last night ha but finding myself wanting to browse online today. Quit website as soon as I realised I was doing it.

Son can’t stop talking about yesterday ha anyone would think I’d bought him an AM but if a day out is all it takes to make him happy must be winning there. Who knows where he gets that mindset - definitely not from me.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you had a great day so memories like that are priceless. Not sure about the Kia reference except I assume it relates to you responding on someone else's diary who you felt personally attacked you. Tbf you have faced a lot of flak for driving a RR and the judgements people make about that but just as bad to judge people for making different choices. We should not all be judged on the cars we drive. I drive a Renault Captur btw so not sure what that says about me . No finance, sturdy enough to go down narrow country lanes without being so wide the wing mirrors brush the hedges but can still manage a comfortable motorway ride and great for the grandchildren and their stuff. 

mothsinmywallet_2

I drive a Vauxhall zafira. Can't be too precious about it as I have 3 rugby playing children. It's full of mud and bits of rugby kit, wellies and other useful stuff. And happy memories.