First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver Tbh I’ve no time for sanctimonious drivel about ‘well I earn six figs (gross no doubt ha) and drive a Kia aren’t I the perfect example of a human specimen, give me praise please’. Not saying it’s not the right choice for him, if that’s what he wants from life fair enough but pretty obvious I’m not going to be swapping the Range for a Kia to save a few pennies - not for me. It’s the same as ‘big car small d**k’ brigade - jealousy effectively.

I’ve no problem with anyone’s car choices - you want to drive a Renault that’s your prerogative just as driving a Range Rover is mine.

RelievedSheff

I prefer driving a classic. The old rot box is by far the best driving car of the three that we have but utterly impactical for day to day use hence the need for a couple of run of the mill boring family cars.


The other half is taking it to work this winter while they are having a quite spell to do some more work too it. It is 18 years since it last had any body work done and it has picked up a few marks and dings over those years so now is as good a time as any to get it sorted out while he has the time to do it.

Looks like we will be getting some use out of it next year. Looking forward to getting it back on the road again. It has been a bit ignored since we moved house.

warby68

Cars are a funny thing - they do tend to be surprisingly emotive considering their main purpose is getting from A-B
For the purposes of this board, the main thing is that you can afford them. That's why you get flak, not for the car itself. 

enthusiasticsaver

You see I don't think that is what he or she meant. I can sometimes hear the anger in your posts as you feel every comment made about a different lifestyle to yours is a personal attack on you. Many of us choose to live within our means or sometimes underspend to have a security net for whatever reason. You live close to the edge by being comfortable with high debt levels and an expensive lifestyle.  There is no perfect or imperfect way to live. It just comes down to individual choice. As I have said previously sometimes it is down to childhood issues and sometimes personality. We are all different thankfully. This is just musings btw, not an attack so please don't take it that way. You are doing well on getting yourself on a solid financial footing which is all I care about. 

monetxchange

Agree. I think most of the judgy commentators have left this thread now, so I wouldn't take everything as an attack. You end up in defense mode and declaring everything as "jealousy" and to be honest I think you've grown so far past that kind of reactive attitude that it's best to just take a breath before thinking it's a dig. You're doing really well changing your mindset but remember it's a marathon not a sprint.

curtains174

I’ve lurked on these boards for years and rarely do I feel the need to comment, as loads on here have more to offer in terms of experience and constructive support and advice. Yet your diary has drawn me in, your posts are very open and full of your emotions.

You seem to get defensive, upset and then reflective about each comment and you take so many as personal attacks which I’m fairly sure aren’t written with that in mind.

I think time and time again and in many different ways people are saying the same thing, belongings bought by putting yourself in the level of debt that you have, never bring you happiness. 

While you may love your car and previous lifestyle it’s easy to see that you have realised that they way you have achieved them has made you deeply unhappy. I think people are trying to show you that you can be happy with a simpler lifestyle, you may not have come to that realisation yet, but you will in time. For you that may involve a luxury car, for others luxury holidays, most of us have something that we won’t compromise on (Nutella is one of mine, anything else is vile!) You are very early in your journey, in time you’ll pay off your debt and will work out what you are willing to compromise on and what you are willing to purchase on credit)

You have received some fabulous advice on this diary, all of which comes from people who genuinely hope you find your way. Take care 

theoretica

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver Tbh I’ve no time for sanctimonious drivel about ‘well I earn six figs (gross no doubt ha) and drive a Kia aren’t I the perfect example of a human specimen, give me praise please’. Not saying it’s not the right choice for him, if that’s what he wants from life fair enough but pretty obvious I’m not going to be swapping the Range for a Kia to save a few pennies - not for me. It’s the same as ‘big car small d**k’ brigade - jealousy effectively.

I’ve no problem with anyone’s car choices - you want to drive a Renault that’s your prerogative just as driving a Range Rover is mine.

You need to stop hoping people are jealous of your cars - most people are generally self absorbed and don't care what anyone else drives. I reckon many of the people who say nice things when you acquired these cars would also say nice things about any other vehicle you were clearly proud of - they are responding more to you than to the car.

But on a discussion about solvency your expensive decisions will attract the most comment as they have the biggest impact on your finances.

ladyholly

Personally I would love to be able to drive any  car but I have a condition which causes my eyelids to droop to the point I can't see much more than 10foot along the ground and even less looking ahead. I have tablets but they don't do much. So my transport is a large green  multi seat vehicle (they also come in other colours) good job a car for me was just a means of getting frm a to b.
Sounds like a lovely family day. Well done on closing your search and if you are feeling bad probably a good day to talk to your counsellor. 

FootyFanDan

I am so glad to read that you and son had a fantastic day yesterday, in among all the other things going off I think its important that you take time to see how your actions impact on the family as well as your own mindset. You seemed to be shocked that your son enjoyed what you might consider a simple day out, I would say in my experience its more the time he gets with you that will have been the best bit. You are slowly but surely (with the odd relapse) seeing that it is possible to enjoy a simpler lifestyle. You are making brilliant progress, its not all going to happen in one go but keep going mate. I think your always going to want a certain lifestyle, I think its important that you see that on the income you are on you should be able to live a very good lifestyle and that is possible but at the moment there is tough decisions to make to get there. IT IS POSSIBLE! and you are making such good steps forward.  I sense that some comments do get to you a bit ( not sure that is intentional) but you have had some superb advice and we are all willing you on

On another point - make time to go back and read the start of diary to where you are now...it will be an eyeopener...go on do it! haha - you will see you are getting there.

strawb_shortcake

I'm not impressed of the cars people drive, it's well known that a huge amount are on finance. One family that live by us have a fleet of really fancy cars, it's also well known they've not done an honest days work in their lives, so it really means nothing what car someone drives to anyone other than the driver. 
My Sister is one that always has to say people are jealous of her, they really aren't but it is more an indication that she is jealous and envious of others. 

The debt aside, I think most here see you as a very successful person regardless of what car you drive.