First Steps to Solvency

mothsinmywallet_2

Absolutely !!!!!! hilarious that you think I would recommend a book about god 🤣🤣🤣

It's about why people are depressed and chasing stuff. 

alt80

@GrumpelstiltskinHa funny you should mention spending some time as a family tomorrow, that was my plan. Going to spend some time working this evening and he doesn’t know yet probably make his day! Should probably make a bit of time to have a day or two with family over half term holidays really. Car is already filthy - been into the middle of nowhere up an unmade track this afternoon. Sign at bottom - not suitable for motor vehicles...lol. No chance was I walking 1/2 mile to the place in this weather RR did me proud. Get home, tell wife thinking she’d at least be a bit impressed ‘you’ve got a 4x4 and it’s not even really off road by the looks of that’ totally deadpan not impressed one bit haha she’s still annoyed with me.

@DayDreamerandGeneralWaster very true re autumn colours. My son loves the trees at this time of year. 

@Andyjflet Yes doesn’t take a lot to make my son happy, he’s not greedy at all, just loves life and simple stuff. I always find those moments really difficult tbh guilt just washes over me when I’m there with wife and son, just reminds me I’ve not really been there enough and some of the stuff FIL has said is right (not money, other stuff). Just want to escape from the regrets. Last year we went on Christmas Santa train ride, son was so happy one of my best memories of being a dad but I spoilt it spending the evening getting so wasted I probably didn’t know it was Monday or Thursday because all the regrets and guilt of being a !!!!!! dad wouldn’t go away. Day after that in the afternoon went on a spending binge buying stuff for me, wife and son to make up for all of that it doesn’t I know. 

@mothsinmywallet_2 I’ll have a look then. Didn’t think you’d be a born again Christian tbf. Makes me smile when I see you’ve posted on here tbh. Wrote this on someone else’s diary - don’t think we’d likely cross paths socially as I basically talk to property and car people and no one else outside of work.

pink_fluffy_sparkles

Just wanted to take a second to say well done on paying off the first card! I dont think you give yourself enough credit youve achieved so much in a really short space of time  

pink_fluffy_sparkles

alt80 said:

Called healthline also spoke to counsellor - don’t like to keep bothering them but have been told I can call anytime and they will get back. Better than getting into a bad state of mind I think.

Also 100% agree with this!! Call them when you need them! They really do mean any time! 

alt80

@pink_fluffy_sparkles Thanks. Probably just another example of my skewed mindset generally - paid one off, no that’s not good enough should have got two !!!!!! off lol. Only positive thing it’s ever done is drive me forwards in business tbh.

Mrs_F_2017

Well done for clearing the 1st card - yes I know you said its mostly from sales but its a massive achievement and you should be proud of yourselves.  Remember how much you can achieve when you are focussed!

If I were you, I'd close the card immediately.  Sorry to be blunt, but your mindset fluctuates so much at the moment that I don't think you can be trusted not to spend on the card currently. You don't want to have that credit available in a moment of weakness.  

mothsinmywallet_2

Glad I can make you smile. Our paths wouldn't cross unless you had a child with behaviour difficulties!  This website is great for making you see things from other people's viewpoint. 

ladyholly

Great news on the first credit card. As others have said close that account.
Try to put the guilt behind you. You can't change the past but you can look forward to the future and giving your sin a good childhood. To children your time is far more important than stuff. Your wife might take a bit longer but in many ways the same applies I. e. Your time not stuff. 

warby68

I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad but you seem to be mellowing out a bit today. You have to get past the past and keep going - if it needs a lot more professional help so be it.
Well done on the first card.
And for heaven's sake stop dwelling on what's gone before at the expense of what you can do now and tomorrow especially with your son. 
PS Had reason to be in Nottingham this week - as we were driving there, I seemed to see an awful lot of RRs and couldn't help wondering if one was you.

alt80

@Mrs_F_2017 Thanks. Think you’re right re the card. Not in the best frame of mind today tbh just pushing through - want to look at stuff to buy doing anything not spending related.

I can get access to near £80k of additional credit and have considered lowering limits in moments of clarity. Don’t want to mess my utilisation up though so catch 22.

@mothsinmywallet_2 my wife would tell you she’s got a 40 year old child with big !!!!!! behavioural difficulties ha. Yeah agreed it’s been a massive eye opener for me just seeing other people’s viewpoints. No BS because I’m trying to maintain an image.

@ladyholly Thanks. I know re guilt. Dwelling on the past helps no one - need to get to a place I put the remo behind me to, accept it and grow to offset it.