Husband left, 7 months pregnant

Savvy_Sue

dahj said:

I would suggest getting your finances in order including council tax discount. Also, Make sure you have your own current account (existing or open one) with a separate bank/BS to the any mortgage or other borrowing facilities.  

Ah yes, is your salary going into an account in your sole name? If not, get that sorted. 

What JOINT accounts do you have? It won't protect you from him doing stupid / selfish / daft things, but limit how much YOU put in there. See if the bank will accept an instruction that an overdraft can only be used if BOTH parties agree. 

Do either of you have a credit card account where the other also holds a card? If it's in your name, cancel his card. If it's in his name, cancel your card (if you can). 

In other words, separate, separate, separate. Protect yourself. 

Utilities on the house are slightly different: they've got to be paid, and the utility company won't care who pays the bills. If the accounts are in his name, they may not wish to speak to you. Only exception to that is TV and phone packages: you may want to look at what you're getting and work out what YOU want, if the bill's in your name then cancel channels of no interest to you and see how low you can get it. If in his name you'll have to talk to him but see if you can get it under YOUR control. 

Really glad you have spoken to the midwife. Keep talking!

Savvy_Sue

BTW, I'm looking at the times you are posting. Unsurprisingly, it's in the wee small hours, and I'm not going to condemn you for that, but please try to get into good habits: sleeping, eating, taking care of yourself. Only you can do that, and your little ones need you to do that. 

Comms69

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you can call council tax and explain to take your husband's name off the council tax bill and claim single person discount.  they will want to know where he has moved to and may want him to contact them to let them know that he no longer lives at the property.  i would call them and explain to them the situation and they will be able to advise you.

There's no requirement to provide any details

to claim a single person discount, the council may ask for details.  i have come across people's names not taken off the council tax bills until they call the council and ask that their names are taken off.

They can ask, but there’s no requirement to provide them. 

jackieblack

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you can call council tax and explain to take your husband's name off the council tax bill and claim single person discount.  they will want to know where he has moved to and may want him to contact them to let them know that he no longer lives at the property.  i would call them and explain to them the situation and they will be able to advise you.

There's no requirement to provide any details

When my husband moved out the council wanted to know where he’d moved to. Because he refused to tell them (or me), I had to have a home visit before they would give me the single person discount.

AskAsk

jackieblack said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you can call council tax and explain to take your husband's name off the council tax bill and claim single person discount.  they will want to know where he has moved to and may want him to contact them to let them know that he no longer lives at the property.  i would call them and explain to them the situation and they will be able to advise you.

There's no requirement to provide any details

When my husband moved out the council wanted to know where he’d moved to. Because he refused to tell them (or me), I had to have a home visit before they would give me the single person discount.

exactly this.  depends on the council, but they can insist on proof before they will give you the single person discount as there may be people absusing the system.  some councils are also very difficult to deal with, so if they ask you for something and you don't do it, they won't act on the information and will just keep the status quo.

Comms69

jackieblack said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you can call council tax and explain to take your husband's name off the council tax bill and claim single person discount.  they will want to know where he has moved to and may want him to contact them to let them know that he no longer lives at the property.  i would call them and explain to them the situation and they will be able to advise you.

There's no requirement to provide any details

When my husband moved out the council wanted to know where he’d moved to. Because he refused to tell them (or me), I had to have a home visit before they would give me the single person discount.

Well not quite, all you need is a declaration. The state has no business coming to your home; and the discount is a statutory one, you're entitled to it regardless of what the council think / want. 

Comms69

AskAsk said:

jackieblack said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you can call council tax and explain to take your husband's name off the council tax bill and claim single person discount.  they will want to know where he has moved to and may want him to contact them to let them know that he no longer lives at the property.  i would call them and explain to them the situation and they will be able to advise you.

There's no requirement to provide any details

When my husband moved out the council wanted to know where he’d moved to. Because he refused to tell them (or me), I had to have a home visit before they would give me the single person discount.

exactly this.  depends on the council, but they can insist on proof before they will give you the single person discount as there may be people absusing the system.  some councils are also very difficult to deal with, so if they ask you for something and you don't do it, they won't act on the information and will just keep the status quo.

Then you make a complaint. Council tax isn't a policy, it's the law. The council cant make any additional requirements, only requests. 

sunshineandlollipops

I didn't need any proof when I rang the council thankfully. 
I have applied for any benefits I am entitled to and that was more straight forward than I anticipated, with it being just a form on the gov website. 
If anything I am struggling with all this mentally so much at the moment the finances are now having to take a bit of a backseat for a few days while I try and get my head round some of this. I've let my midwife know that is the case. 

Savvy_Sue

sunshineandlollipops said:

If anything I am struggling with all this mentally so much at the moment the finances are now having to take a bit of a backseat for a few days while I try and get my head round some of this. I've let my midwife know that is the case. 

Frankly, that is unsurprising. You're doing well, honestly. one step at a time, keep eating as well as you can, and SLEEPING! If you possibly can - what helps you normally when you're not sleeping well? 

sunshineandlollipops

Headspace style mindfulness used to help but I'm stuck at the moment just replaying stuff in my head so I find the track finishes and I've not really followed it. I am getting more sleep some nights than I was a week ago. 

He has our toddler again in the morning and I'm dreading it.