Husband left, 7 months pregnant

sunshineandlollipops

My husband has left me and my toddler and I'm due to start maternity leave in 8 weeks for our second (planned) baby due in November.
Where do I even start with the finances? Do I need to sort out child maintenance with him first? Or find out if I'm entitled to benefits? How do I prove he's moved out to change the council tax to a single person? 
We have a joint mortgage where the current deal is up in January when my baby will be about 6 weeks old. I have no idea what my rights are there. 
I hope this makes sense. It's all a bit of a shock - an email came up on his computer this morning where he was arranging a flat to move into next week. 
Thank you for any help. 

Savvy_Sue

Don't have a lot of advice but didn't want to just read and run.

Personally, I wouldn't try to sort out child maintenance before working out what your entitlement to benefits might be. How you 'prove' he's moved out I'm not sure, but phone the council and ask - or look on their website.

Right now your head must be all over the place. A notebook with lists may help ...

Does your employer offer anything like an Employee Assistance Programme? Ours has a confidential phone line which we can access, I'd have thought it would be perfect for something like this. Or if you're in a trade union, likewise, they'll know of places where you can get support.

If you can bear to speak to him right now, what's his proposal for the mortgage?

sunshineandlollipops

Thank you. 
Earlier in the summer he said he wanted to leave and at the time he said he would support me and the toddler to keep us in the house. He had promised me that wasnt the case anymore and he was 100% about staying and being around for all three of us.
I don't trust he will feel the same about helping with the mortgage once he realises what it will be like paying his own rent/bills etc as well. I think he just thinks child maintenance would be his mortgage contribution?
I've had a quick look at the benefits calculator on here but it's complicated with me about to go on maternity leave. I wondered whether maybe citizens advice bureau might be a good place to try and call tomorrow for advice on that? Or I imagine there's a benefits helpline. 
Yes that's a good idea about the council, thank you. 

kangoora

Legally, he only has to pay the amount required by CMS plus any agreed spousal maintenance (very rarely awarded). He can, of course, pay any amount over that CMS amount that he wants to or he feels like paying.

So, that is your worst case scenario - assuming he doesn't just drop off the grid to avoid paying anything, which it doesn't sound like he intends to do from your text.

Whether that will be enough for you to keep your house is up to your finances (including possible benefits) after the split. Please, please, make sure you get a financial order signed off as part of any divorce (I'm assuming that is next) - you could probably do with talking to a solicitor.

AskAsk

you can call council tax and explain to take your husband's name off the council tax bill and claim single person discount.  they will want to know where he has moved to and may want him to contact them to let them know that he no longer lives at the property.  i would call them and explain to them the situation and they will be able to advise you.

Comms69

sunshineandlollipops said:

My husband has left me and my toddler and I'm due to start maternity leave in 8 weeks for our second (planned) baby due in November.
Where do I even start with the finances? Do I need to sort out child maintenance with him first? Or find out if I'm entitled to benefits? How do I prove he's moved out to change the council tax to a single person? 
We have a joint mortgage where the current deal is up in January when my baby will be about 6 weeks old. I have no idea what my rights are there. 
I hope this makes sense. It's all a bit of a shock - an email came up on his computer this morning where he was arranging a flat to move into next week. 
Thank you for any help. 

Finances in general will be dealt with by divorce.

Child maintenance you should try sort with him first, but if that fails you can contact the CMS. 

Benefits go to turn2us (google it) they are very good

No need to prove anything, simply inform the council he has moved. 

Your rights are unchanged you can continue to live there. 

Comms69

AskAsk said:

you can call council tax and explain to take your husband's name off the council tax bill and claim single person discount.  they will want to know where he has moved to and may want him to contact them to let them know that he no longer lives at the property.  i would call them and explain to them the situation and they will be able to advise you.

There's no requirement to provide any details

AskAsk

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you can call council tax and explain to take your husband's name off the council tax bill and claim single person discount.  they will want to know where he has moved to and may want him to contact them to let them know that he no longer lives at the property.  i would call them and explain to them the situation and they will be able to advise you.

There's no requirement to provide any details

to claim a single person discount, the council may ask for details.  i have come across people's names not taken off the council tax bills until they call the council and ask that their names are taken off.

Savvy_Sue

Is he quite well? I mean, there's a part of me thinking "what b**st**d does this at this stage of a wanted pregnancy!" and on one level you're well shot of someone who could do this to you - and as you say, you can't trust him not to change his mind, whatever he says. 

But seriously, if there is a reason for this behaviour, is he getting the help he needs? 

of course, if he just thinks the grass is greener elsewhere, you are just well shot of him. Not that it helps right this minute. 

Just had a thought, yes CAB might be a good source of help, but they can be difficult to contact and make appointments with at the moment. I would also speak to your midwife and / or health visitor and see if they know of other possibilities: start with a phone call and tell them what's happened. They might also be able to arrange extra help for you after the birth - I don't know, it's  a long time since I had babies and of course the world hadn't gone quite mad then, BUT I know that the local college was always on the lookout for placements for childcare students, and there are other voluntary groups who might be able to offer you some support: I'd expect the midwife and HV to know what they are in your area. 

sunshineandlollipops

Thank you so much to all of you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. 
I have rung CAB and am waiting a call back from them. I'm not familiar with the benefits system but hoping they will be able to help me figure it out, particularly as I imagine any help may change once I move from having one child to two and once my pay moves from part-time to mat pay.
Thank you for everyone who recommended ringing the council. I spoke to a lovely lady there who helped with the council tax. 

@Savvy_Sue Possibly. His behaviour has been so erratic and the things he has said over the summer so contradictory that it is quite possible. He has been on anti-depressants for a couple of months but won't accept or look for any other forms of help or support despite much encouragement from me.
I did tell my midwife some of the story at my last appointment. I will update her I think. My family and friends are busy making plans for when baby arrives and are just wonderful. 

@kangoora thank you. I will google what a financial order is. To top it all off, his profession is in financial advice! Right now my trust in him is shattered so I just hope he will still do what is right for his family with regards to all that and not use his knowledge to help himself only. 

[Deleted User]

I would suggest getting your finances in order including council tax discount. Also, Make sure you have your own current account (existing or open one) with a separate bank/BS to the any mortgage or other borrowing facilities. 

Obviously, we don't know the background but he sounds very selfish to impregnate and run.