A new royal start

Bluegreen143

Remember that after 1 they don’t need a bottle, and it’s totally up to you how you want to continue, but she would be OK if you wanted to take a firmer stance with the milk and just stop might feeds. I’m a qualified breastfeeding peer supporter so not really allowed to say that but I’ve been in your shoes and know what it’s like 

When my youngest was 16 months we ended up sleep training and weaning her off the breast all in one go as I was honestly on the verge of a breakdown - there were heaps of tears for about 2 weeks but she starting to sleep through very quickly once weaned off, and also started to eat well which she hadn’t before. I needed my husband on board though as he did all the bedtimes and night wakes for those two weeks.

Though it was a much nicer experience with my son, who slept much easier with no real effort from me and weaned himself off, so I totally get why people don’t want to do the sleep training option. Hope you do get more rest soon though as it’s miserable to be so knackered.

QueenJess

Bluegreen143 said:

Remember that after 1 they don’t need a bottle, and it’s totally up to you how you want to continue, but she would be OK if you wanted to take a firmer stance with the milk and just stop might feeds. I’m a qualified breastfeeding peer supporter so not really allowed to say that but I’ve been in your shoes and know what it’s like 

When my youngest was 16 months we ended up sleep training and weaning her off the breast all in one go as I was honestly on the verge of a breakdown - there were heaps of tears for about 2 weeks but she starting to sleep through very quickly once weaned off, and also started to eat well which she hadn’t before. I needed my husband on board though as he did all the bedtimes and night wakes for those two weeks.

Though it was a much nicer experience with my son, who slept much easier with no real effort from me and weaned himself off, so I totally get why people don’t want to do the sleep training option. Hope you do get more rest soon though as it’s miserable to be so knackered.

Thanks for your kind reply .  We did sleep training with my first as he had terrible reflux and ended up sleeping with me (which I hated).  I had to stop as I thought I was going to lose it.  That was at 18 months.  DD is different.. she does wake up and eat, then goes back to sleep happily on her own.  I genuinely don't think it is just habit though.. she seems really hungry.  She does have other times when she wakes and goes back to sleep on her own.  She has a huge appetite and eats everything in sight all the time, so it isn't that surprising.  She eats far more than DS did and he ate loads.  He continued waking up for a midnight snack (not milk though) until he was 4!

Anyway, I think I had in my mind that I would give it until 18 months and if she wasn't cutting down I would have to do something.  Maybe I should move her to her own room as it might get her to cut back to the essentials if some of the feeds were habit because I'm there.

QueenJess

Well I did manage to get a fair few things done today in the end, although still got an ever increasing list of things to do.  Most importantly I am about to eat the last chocolate brownie, so I am going to have to do something about puddings quite urgently

Sadly DS's feet have grown, so I had to order him new school shoes.  I am bidding on wellies, sandals and plimsolls second hand on the bay of e.  I also had to buy him shorts for school for the summer.  Sadly I have to buy these new as it is hard to find them second hand and he is so skinny everything falls off him.  It's just easier to go straight to M*S for those.  Anyway, lots of money down, but more jobs ticked off the to do list today.  Feeling slightly more organised, but my eyes hurt as I'm so tired.  Going to sit down for 30 mins in front of the TV and then give up and go to bed.

QueenJess

What a rubbish week. In 4 days of nursery, DD managed to make it through just 1 whole day of it; all the others I had to pick her up early. Fingers crossed she’s all ok for next week now her jabs are over and done with.

After 1 night of slightly better sleep (although DD still woke up 13 times in 5 hours… grrr…), I feel slightly more human and so back into getting things done.  Since DH’s bad news from his best friend, I’ve decided to try better to spend more time with the kids and we’ve been going out every weekend. It might only be for a walk or whatever, but gets us all out the house and the key is to do something together. The chores and other stuff pend for during the week as I can get things done in between work as I work from home. It also means spending more money, but quality of life and all that. I am still being sensible though, so nothing extravagant happening!

This weekend for example.. Sat we just went out for a walk at a local National Trust place (we are members so nothing spent bar petrol). Today we went to a fair/event type thing, but I took a homemade picnic (and was surprised DD happily stayed sat down to eat!). It was really hot, but we took water bottles and they had refill stations. The ice cream queues were huge, so we walked 2 mins to the local W*itrose and found a pack of 3 really lovely ice creams for £4.20. Probably cheaper and quite luxurious. Also there were no queues! We splashed out on two little fair rides for the kids £5 and I found an excellent second hand bookshop and got a £4 book for me and three really lovely quality kids books for £4.  Anyway, kids were happy, had a lovely time and were exhausted. Mission accomplished!

I’m keeping my overall mantra of saving money and not wasting money. However, I cannot do the same amount of money saving due to work and so I’m no longer watching every penny. I still keep track of everything in and out, but I’ve loosened the purse strings a bit. The way I see it is that I will be paying more as I have less time to spend on making everything/planning everything food wise, but I am earning more at work than I am losing. 

I’ve managed to order everything for DS and even found 2nd hand plimsolls and wellies on the bay of e. I’m waiting to see if my bid in the 2nd hand sandals wins.

Absolutely tons of things on my to do list which I’ll have to work through next week. I did plough through a load tonight already - school does seem to add a lot of things to my to do list, but I at least added all the school activities to my diary so I don’t forget anything. I also bit the bullet after DD was in bed and planted out my first seedlings - they are meant to get to about 6 foot, had outgrown the pots and were attacking all the other seedlings! Got tons of gardening things to do as well, so going to have to do bits in my lunch hour (as long as DD stays at nursery!).

I’ve officially run out of containers for the freezer. I don’t really have anything the right size for complete meals for all of us and so I am going to invest in some glass ones that you can freeze, oven cook and microwave. Will buy a few and see how I get on. I want to do a bit more batch cooking to make things a bit easier. I also need to sort out my freezer as there are far too many bread products (and probably pudding items). I want less of these and more space for dinners! In going to try to run down the bits I have too much of so I can better stock the freezer as to what we actually use. I also don’t really have quite enough stuff for lunches and so I’ve just bought some fabric sandwich and snack bags for when we are out and about. It means once we’re done eating they will take up negligible space.

DS had his first school trip coming up and I was unamused to see that you can opt for a school lunch box, but you have to provide a disposable water bottle, or you can pack a home lunch but everything has to be disposable. I know organising a trip with 90 5 year olds must be a nightmare, but all the waste for a tiny bit extra inconvenience/organisation really makes me cringe. Also they sent the menu for the lunch and it reminded me how backwards our services are - both schools and hospitals. Basically you can eat everything (which is always meat) or be veggie. Times have changed, but they all seem to be stuck in the dark ages! If you are vegan you’d have to provide a pack lunch everyday and presumably you’d starve in hospital?!

Lunch today was sandwiches (cheese, chutney and salad, cheese and carrot or just cheese), with fruit and a homemade pineapple, mango and coconut muffin for after. Dinner was veggie sausages with cauliflower, leeks and mashed potato. Too full for pudding, although DD is working through her baby puddings from the cupboard to use them up. DS had a bit of Easter egg.

Anyway, better try to get to sleep before DD wakes up… hopefully we exhausted her so much that she sleeps well! Even I’m pretty knackered…

QueenJess

When I’m busy the food shopping seems to go out the window. Went this morning to buy a couple of bits we needed and did stock up on some other things (like cereal) as I hate shopping, so prefer to stock up whenever I have to go. Didn’t work well today as I spent £85! I mean how?! 

This is why my freezer and cupboards are jammed full and not necessarily with the right things. So back to getting it back down to the right level of stuff. Nothing is wasted here at least.

So aims…. 

1. Reduce cupboard supplies a bit (actually this one isn’t too bad. Will work on using up DD’s baby puddings before she gets too old to eat them as they go out of date soon.   Also going to see what else has been pushed to the back of the cupboard)
2. Freezer: puddings - I have too much dessert stuff and want to fit it all in one drawer of my teeny kitchen freezer. Right now I think I have 5 tubs of ice cream! I mean why?!
3. Freezer: bread - I have loads of bread items filling up my big freezer. I want to reduce it to 2 loaves of bread, 1 pack of crumpets and 1 pack of bagels. The reality is that we use little else.
4. Fridge - it’s generally the emptiest place around here, but I’m sure there’s a few things lurking to be used up. I’m sure I could pretty much empty it more regularly.

This could take a while!

MagicCat

Oh @QueenJess I really feel for you with all the wake ups, DD2 is awful at the moment though not as bad as 13 times   
You always seem to get so much done even when you're tired. The family time sounds really nice, what a lovely weekend.
I'm trying to be better at reusing and reducing waste - wrapped a birthday present in left over tissue paper earlier and added some stickers, and managed to get DD1 some summer sandals on eBay - she usually has DS's old things but is beginning to protest that they aren't 'girl' ones, I don't know where she gets it from but she's pink crazy. Hopefully I can reuse for DD2 eventually.
Hope your work week has started ok and wishing you better sleep, fingers crossed!

QueenJess

Thanks @MagicCat. DD wasn’t great last night, but possibly might be improving. It’s been so disruptive with illness and teething. I hope she starts to settle down soon.

When I’m feeling ok and less tired I can get lots of things done, but it barely lasts a day or two. I have a bad night and then I feel really down and right back where I started. I’m definitely ready to get off this rollercoaster. I’m just trying to concentrate on the most important things, which are spending time with the kids. Anything else can get squashed into any other time I have.

I’m expecting I will have the same problem one day with DD. Currently we are recycling all of DS’s things for her, but I’m sure it will end in a few years. I absolutely hate pink with a passion, so it’ll be interesting if she gets into that 😂.

Congrats on the reuse. The reframing of all this stuff in our lives takes time. I’m still nowhere where I want to be, but I have done tons of changes already and probably more than most. I’ll get there one day! If anyone is interested, Greenpeace are doing a big plastic count next week that you can sign up for on their website. Basically it’s counting what plastic waste you have in a week to highlight the issue to government. I’m going to try and squeeze that into my week!

QueenJess

Right well today I managed to:

• Do the food shopping before work (and get it all away)
  
• Ate leftovers for lunch to clear down the fridge
• Prepared all the dinner (chicken stir fry with rice, sweet chilli and tons of veg).  DH cooked it whilst I picked up the kids.
• Got a refund from the milkman for another wrong delivery
• Made some flapjacks in my lunch break to stop DH snacking on expensive bars and I also subbed the oatmeal for DD's strawberry baby porridge she won't eat and is going out of date soon.  Not tried them yet, but they smell lovely!
• Did all the work I needed to for today
• Reconciled the joint account until end of April
• Planted up two more big pots on the patio and watered the plants
• Prepped two parcels to drop off at the post office tomorrow (including a return for something that didn't fit)
  

I will also be getting DS to style his new shoes and shorts in a minute to check they fit and may sort through some bookmarks/digital files in front of the TV tonight.  Not too shabby for a full on work day.

April turned out to be not too bad finance wise, although it was mostly because I forgot to use £300 of childcare vouchers in March and so I used them against the April invoice.  Interestingly my one month of concentrating on food expenditure yielded £325 spent for the month which includes my expensive organic milkman delivery (the milk is delivered, not the milkman in case anyone was confused ) and my weekly expensive organic fruit and veg box delivery.  Seeing as I still have an absolute ton of food in the house, it just shows what I can do.  There was also a bit of wriggle room in it, so I could have got it lower.  Sadly I don't have that much time to spend on it anymore, but I really do need to get the food stocks down and I'm not changing my buying habits, so hopefully that won't increase my bills too much this month.

Anyway, this all meant that I have already saved up for my full TV licence and am now saving £250 for house insurance.  Am hoping it will be less, but would prefer to over save.  Currently I have £116.75 saved towards it, so I will see how close I can get to clearing that off this month.

At the weekend DS kept saying he wanted to buy something.  We keep telling him he can't have something everywhere we go.  Admittedly we do often have ice cream, but that's generally because I want them   I know he's only 5, but I was thinking about giving him a small amount of pocket money a week (say 50p) so if he wants anything, it has to come out of that.  It could teach him some good budgeting skills.  On the other hand he just doesn't need anything as he's 5 and I am happy to buy 2nd hand books and ice creams which I would do anyway, so I'm not sure whether he's a little young.  Any thoughts?

MagicCat

, Greenpeace are doing a big plastic count next week that you can sign up for on their website. Basically it’s counting what plastic waste you have in a week to highlight the issue to government. I’m going to try and squeeze that into my week!

Thanks for this, I've signed up, I think DS and maybe DD1 will enjoy helping to do the count. I used to be much better at avoiding plastic packaging but have been much more focused on prices recently.

Re: pocket money - we don't give ours anything particularly yet, but their grandad usually gives them a couple of pounds in coins each month. So if we're out anywhere and they're asking to buy anything (usually something really rubbish that they'll lose interest in after about 5 minutes) I say ok, but they have to use their own coins.  9 times out of 10, they then decide they don't really want it after all  Sometimes if it's something more expensive that DS has really wanted, he's saved up and got it after a few weeks. So in my experience it works quite well for them to have a little money of their own and think about the value of things. It's also been quite good for his maths to count the different coins!

Bluegreen143

I started pocket money at 4 with DS and 3 with DD 😊 I REALLY want them to be very comfortable, confident and competent at managing money, to make some mistakes when young to learn from, and I also have found it gives them an amount of autonomy and control (filling their “power bucket”) which helps their behaviour when I say no to other things. I’m a HUGE believer in pocket money basically! I don’t link it to chores or behaviour because I expect those things without them needing a reward, and it’s important to me they get it weekly so they can learn to save, budget etc.

DS (6) gets £4 a week. If we are all getting an ice cream/cake I pay, but otherwise I don’t buy him sweets, treats or toys (except as presents for birthday/Christmas) - he’s expected to use his own money. I encourage him to put some in his wallet each week and some in his piggy bank to save and we have lots of conversations about whether certain things were a good buy or if he’d make another choice next time. He often buys digital TV series/movies or audiobooks which I encourage as less toy clutter!!

If I think it’s a worthy purchase he’s saving up for I’ll sometimes offer to pay half - I did this when he saved up and bought himself an Echo dot to listen to audiobooks on.

Because he sometimes chooses to buy a sweet, I was ending up buying DD (3) a sweet too, so I recently got her her own wallet and give her £1 a week (I’ll increase once she’s 4/5). She usually spends it on sweets but sometimes it builds up a bit, or a relative will give her £5 or whatever, so she has experienced being able to buy herself a toy too and they both chipped in together to download the paw patrol movie recently. 

I don’t limit what they buy with their pocket money except it has to be something they are allowed (so I wouldn’t allow movies that aren’t age appropriate for example) and if it’s a toy but the playroom is cluttered they need to choose an older toy to get rid of, and if it’s sweets I still choose when they can eat them (eg if it’s right before dinner they need to keep them til after).