A new royal start

QueenJess

Ach.. so as soon as the half term holiday starts, crisis hits again.  I was already wiped out from trying to do everything plus full time work, but yesterday DD started getting ill.  She's being propped up with C*lpol and cuddles from me at the moment and is a bit of a mess.  I was so worried about her last night, I ended up staying up most of the night to check she was ok.  I really hope she gets better soon.  Not really sure what it is, but seems like a generic virus type thing, but as soon as she gets anything, her temperature goes through the roof.  At least she is stuffing herself silly with food, so I figure she can't be that bad.

Not sure now how the half term will go as DH was off out with his friends all yesterday and is working Mon-Weds, so I am going to have to do everything myself plus look after both kids with one ill.  Not looking forward to it as I feel progressively worse each day with lack of sleep and was already struggling with post natal depression again.  *sigh* I just hate it as it just feels like everything I look forward to or want to do is slowly being stripped out of my life so there is nothing of me actually left.  I am merely existing and I am so independent I hate to feel out of control or that I can't pull myself out of this as I'm generally quite an optimistic/hopeful person.  Not sure what the answer is really, but just need to survive the next few days until hopefully DD gets better.

Jessy103

I hope both DD and you feel better soon ❤

Bluegreen143

Sending love @QueenJess ❤️ You sound so fed up. I hope you get a proper break soon.

QueenJess

DD is really suffering with some sort of virus thing that’s gone to her chest. I was awake all last night caring for her and only managed to grab 2 hours sleep. Looks like it’s going to be the same tonight. So much for my three days off planned quality time with DS ☹️.

 Finally managed to get DD to sleep. She’s dosed up on C*lpol, saline nasal spray, a plug in Vapor thing and her cot is at an angle. After all that she’s still struggling a bit and too hot. It’s going to be a long night….. I really hope she gets better soon as I don’t fancy another stint in hospital like last time she had something similar.

Edit: I was very tardy this month with the electricity meter reading and they sent me a bill before I read it. I then promptly read the meter so they sent me a new bill which was less than 2/3 of the bill they “estimated” for us. This is exactly the reason that I always opt to pay what we actually owe each month by variable DD rather than putting up with spurious monthly DD’s, plus I don’t see why they should keep my cash for free. I’m sure it’s the same everywhere, but I do find this house much worse for it because no one seems to understand what a usual spend should look like in an electric only air tight house with a heat pump. Our usage drops off a cliff as soon as the weather gets slightly warmer. This is also why I’m saving for my winter expenses now to even out my expenditure.

QueenJess

I forgot to add in food after all that! May as well as I am on the night watch now with DD, so not much else to do to entertain myself unless she becomes settled enough for me to be less worried and sleep.

Dinner today was salmon stir fry with rice ( needs using up before September and we have a big bag!) and sweet chilli sauce for the grown ups. I raided the veg drawer to use up as much as I could in there - I used pak choi, carrots, spinach leaves, radishes and frozen sweetcorn.

Pudding was raspberry and apricot clafoutis and vanilla ice cream, which used all the veg box apricots. It’s really yummy and I realised I haven’t made it for a year since the last time I got apricots in the box! I also rescued three oranges that I can’t use in time and froze the zest and juice to use in a cake another day.

Still lots of things to use up. I’m going to try a bit harder this time with the freezer/cupboards. I mean everything does get used in the end, but it feels a bit chaotic. I should do a more targeted approach of keeping a pantry/freezer staples rather than trying to have everything ever in! I hate food shopping and it is a bit of a time suck, so I do tend to have loads in so I don’t need to shop very often. I’m sure I could manage that a bit more efficiently though!

QueenJess

What an awful night.  I eventually got to sleep at 5:20am, but DD then woke up at 5:30 for a feed   I got under 4 hours sleep after that when DH took the kids.  I feel pretty awful and my eyes physically hurt.  I really hope the self sacrifice is worth it... I basically did everything ever possible overnight to keep DD comfortable and sleeping as much as possible as I know this is the only way she's going to get rid of this virus thing she has.  She did sleep a bit better and so I am 10% hopeful I might actually get some more sleep tonight, but she still seems reliant on C*lpol in the day as her temperature is all over the shop.  I spent half the night covering and uncovering her (without waking her) to keep her at the right temperature and asleep (as well as making sure she was on the best part of the slope in the cot to aid her breathing and giving her copious amounts of water).  I wonder if they ever appreciate these things as kids?!

Obviously getting zero done for myself or the house in general at all, which is a bit depressing.  I have a couple of parcels which have been sat downstairs for days that I haven't even opened yet..  Feel a bit guilty about buying quite a bit of stuff this month (environmental guilt), although I really do think quite hard about what I buy and probably too much really!  I think this month I've bought (excluding consumables):

• 4 (2 large and 2 slightly smaller) all glass containers with lids - I didn't have any the right size to batch cook, but got non plastic ones which you can bake in, then throw into the freezer and then get back out again and put in the microwave/oven and even dishwash afterwards.  Really hoping they will last pretty much forever and I can batch bake some cottage pie and other easy things for when I'm working (and when I get the freezer down a bit..)
• 4 sandwich reuseable/washable cloth bags and 2 smaller snack ones for picnics.  These have already had copious use and are really good for taking up very little space in a bag.  I didn't really have enough plastic containers to do this with what I had and didn't want to use plastic disposable bags.
• Metal drinks bottles for both the kids that are insulated so keep drinks cold and should last a lifetime.  DD is too young, but we needed something to take out with us and we use it to top up her beaker.  She can use it properly in a year or so.  DS already has one (not insulated), but I wanted to make sure he had one that kept cold for the summer at school.  He often has more than one on the go anyway (plus the inevitable times he leaves one at school), so they will still both be used.
  
• Jeans, top, shorts and trousers for the summer for me (although not opened two of them and need to check that they fit!).  All new as I could not find anything second hand for ages, but sourced as ethically as I could and I really needed the latter two as I have zero of these items.  The other two were slightly frivolous, but I absolutely love the items and they will be worn all the time.  I have a high bar now for clothes/shoes and I will only buy something if I absolutely love it and know I will wear it all the time.
• T-shirt and skirt second hand - I was looking for a t-shirt for about 6 months.  The skirt was a bit frivolous, but I will absolutely wear it all the time.
• Lego set & huge pile of books - both second hand and a good price.  Put aside for kids xmas/birthday stuff.
• DH shoes/wellies/sandals - he went up a size, so there was little choice.  I bought wellies and sandals second hand, but got his proper shoes new.  Tried to get a nice balance, but definitely don't want to ruin his feet.

It feels like a lot, but it is partly because I've been decluttering and with kids you just find what you need and use today isn't necessarily what you need and use in 3 months time.  I am trying to challenge myself before I buy anything and as I am continually challenging myself with decluttering in the house, it is always at the forefront of my mind.  To be fair, I am pretty sure I have way less stuff than the average household, but there always seems to be a couple of things I can find to declutter.  My drawers and cupboards are looking nice and organised/half empty now, with the exception of the rammed kitchen cupboards full of food!  I can tell things are generally getting better because the house is tidier than it has been for a while.  Still got a bit more to do, but I am very slowly winning the war (that is until family visit and probably bring us a whole load more tat and DS goes to more parties *sigh*....)

I am still considering a number of things on my to buy list... a new mattress protector for my bed as ours is almost threadbare (for some reason I am hesitating with this one) and potentially an alarm clock and watch for me for when DD actually lets me sleep again.  Should avoid phone temptation in the night and also stop annoying me in the day that I have to pull out my phone to see what the time is.  Not sure about the watch and have put it on the potential gift list from DH for next year for me as I already have one I could use, but just needs a battery.  I am however drooling over some solar watches that never need battery changes and I feel guilty about that.. just parking it for now.  I also have had bedside lamps on my list for about 5 years now... we've never had matching ones as we can never agree on them, but one day it would be nice to have some!  Maybe this year as I don't like the stand in one I have and it buzzes, although it is dimmable which is helpful when up with DD (although obviously that won't be forever as she'll have to vacate our room eventually!)?!

Still need to sort out the finances this month which I don't think will be great given the purchases above, lots of food stocking up and the unexpected plumbers bill.  Maybe I'll do that tonight if I'm forced to stay awake to look after DD anyway.  Anyway, better go and relax a bit more as DH has the kids until dinner and I am frankly struggling with so little sleep and another uncertain night ahead of me.  Hope everyone is having a better week!

Easy freezer food for dinner as too tired - fish, chips and beans.  More yummy apricot and raspberry clafoutis for pudding with vanilla ice cream.

themadvix

So sorry to hear you’re having such a rough time Jess. No words of wisdom, but lots of sympathy.

 Don’t feel guilty about your purchases - they are all considered, ethical and help you to be more sustainable. The reusable bags sound good - any chance of a link?

QueenJess

themadvix said:

So sorry to hear you’re having such a rough time Jess. No words of wisdom, but lots of sympathy.

 Don’t feel guilty about your purchases - they are all considered, ethical and help you to be more sustainable. The reusable bags sound good - any chance of a link?

I know I think about this stuff probably too much - I’m my own worst enemy sometimes! I’m trying very hard though as it’s important to me.

I couldn’t seem to find anything that had sandwich sized bags and snack sized ones, so I ended up buying from two different places 🙄.

The sandwich ones are ace (you can use the dishwasher, hand wash, or use the washing machine!) and are from here (although you can buy from other places too): https://www.peacewiththewild.co.uk/product-brands/keep-leaf/

The snack bags I got from Etsy and I love them. They are just the right size for a cut up apple or lots of raisins for little hands! I’ve linked to one of them, but the shop has lots of designs: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/726702646/reusable-lunch-set-snack-bags-waterproof?click_key=71914bfcfa04efad7ed3678da2a6544f73623499%3A726702646&click_sum=228d54c4&ref=shop_home_active_64&frs=1&cns=1

themadvix

Thanks for that - not actually what I was looking for, but will pass onto my sister for niece's lunches

QueenJess

Still trapped in a no sleep nightmare at the moment. DD obviously has a respiratory type infection, which she is really struggling with, but isn’t quite bad enough for hospital. We’re limping along and I keep hoping it’s getting better. At this rate I’ll be glad to go back to work for the rest! I have zero time to myself and am on the case pretty much the whole time. Feel really bad for DS though as I have barely seen him and he’s here all day supposed to be enjoying his holidays.