A new royal start

Bluegreen143

Just found your diary and read it all the way through! I love diaries which are about a similar life stage to me (having small kids) as I get so much inspiration from them.

I’m really sorry you’re getting so little sleep. Bambi (now 3) was truly awful as a baby and younger toddler too, and I felt like I was living in a fog. She was 16 months when we went into the first lockdown and Red was furloughed, so we decided for me to stop breastfeeding and to sleep train her as Red was there to support. It wasn’t very much fun for anybody as she did cry a lot, but within a couple of weeks she started sleeping through for 12 hour nights and doing 2hr naps each day (previously she had had one 20 minute nap daily) and she started eating three proper meals properly for the first time - while breastfed, she didn’t have much interest in food - and I genuinely think she had been hangry and exhausted all day because she was clingy and crying and whining all day beforehand, whereas afterwards she became really cheerful all day and happy to explore and play! So that made me feel better about a couple of weeks of tears at night. 

Not to say that course of action is right for you, there are so many benefits to continuing breastfeeding. But I do really sympathise as I’ve lived through it and I didn’t work at the time. You’re doing an amazing job!

Loved reading about all your cooking and puddings, your family are very lucky as your food always sounds amazing!

You sound very organised and focused with your financial goals too 🙂

QueenJess

Welcome @Bluegreen143 (I love your diary btw 😊). That must have taken you ages to read all my waffle! I have to admit I couldn’t remember when my diary started and so I flicked back to the first page. It sounded like I was a different person then and it wasn’t that long ago! I think I’ve lost myself whilst just being a baby attachment. Hopefully I’ll get myself back again soon. Amusing to note that I am still going through the same redundancy (same company) two years later 😂.

Babies are so hard aren’t they? I have to admit not reading the baby books as they seemed like a waste of time as neither of mine read them! DD is so different to DS and it’s like starting again. I keep reminding myself it could be so much worse as DS had lots of issues which meant he could only sleep cuddled up to me. Eventually at 18 months we sleep trained him straight into his own room. Only took 3 days!

DD is feeling better now and I figured out her right medicine to help her sleep. For the last two nights she’s been only waking up 3x a night for food and the extra sleep feels amazing (although the 2/3am one is hard). I am so grumpy and stop functioning without proper sleep - I need at least 8 full uninterrupted hours a night. Seems so unfair as DH needs a lot less. I am hopeful DD will give up feeding by 18 months as I think my enthusiasm will wane by then! At least there is no eating problem - she eats so much real food it is ridiculous! Nursery are forever giving her extra as she eats everything given to her and is the best eater there!

Must dash as am taking DS out today for some quality time with me. Will report back later!

Bluegreen143

That’s brilliant she’s such a good eater, and I’m glad you are getting somewhat better sleep - but let’s be honest, it’s never the same as a full eight hours is it! Hopefully she gets the memo soon about sleep being a good thing! 

I did notice the redundancy thing two years on and it says a lot about the culture at your work (you can give your loyalty to a company but they sure don’t give it back!!) but hopefully you get a good deal out of whatever happens. 

QueenJess

Another day when I’m tired… DD came back from nursery not herself yesterday and then threw up everywhere! Luckily she was fine today, but I was awake most the night checking on her and making sure she was ok.

Lots done this week.. been to Legoland, museum, a workshop and DS made some chocolate mug cakes that we all had for pudding and were stupidly filling and sickly! DS is having a brilliant time and although we’ve taken lunch everywhere, I seem to have spent a fortune this week. I think I slightly over compensated as I feel guilty that DS gets a bit ignored as DD is so demanding on my time. Then I felt sorry for myself and treated myself to a top, skirt, bag, shorts and dress 😬. Now I feel guilty for spending my own money on myself (sick of always looking like rubbish and wanted to get back some of myself if that makes any sense!). To be fair I needed a blouse for work as apparently I need to show my face in the office once a fortnight (got one I can and will wear outside work too), the skirt and shorts are because I have neither of these things for the summer, the dress is because I found one I loved and could do with another one, but no excuse for a bag - I don’t need it at all. Only two items were second hand as despite searching high and low for ages, I could not find what I wanted second hand. Anyway, they haven’t arrived yet, so They might not fit and I can always send them back I guess.

Made 3 batches of biscuits today (meringues with chocolate chip and coconut) and some chocolate fairy cakes that I need to ice tomorrow. Had a bit of a clothes sort out for the summer (hence the purchases above) and got rid of stuff that doesn’t fit. I also had a major sort out of my craft stuff and listed all the things I know I’ll never use on the local buy nothing site. Feel slightly more organised after today. Just feel like I’m walking round in a fog at the moment because of lack of sleep.

The rest of the hols are not very organised and I don’t even know what we are all eating for lunch or dinner tomorrow 😬. DH is so flakey… need to get plans for at least the next few days done! Tomorrow we are meeting some friends, so some vague planning done for that I guess. Right brain is fuzzy and not even sure if this will post as no broadband as a fault on the line (seriously, this happens sooo often here 🙄). Apparently the next update is Tuesday, so goodness knows when they will actually fix it. I still think someone probably just pulled a cable out of the green cabinet… (happened to the people over the road!).

Sorry.. bit of a brain dump. Hopefully I’ll be more with it and with working internet post Easter hols!

QueenJess

Bluegreen143 said:

That’s brilliant she’s such a good eater, and I’m glad you are getting somewhat better sleep - but let’s be honest, it’s never the same as a full eight hours is it! Hopefully she gets the memo soon about sleep being a good thing! 

I did notice the redundancy thing two years on and it says a lot about the culture at your work (you can give your loyalty to a company but they sure don’t give it back!!) but hopefully you get a good deal out of whatever happens. 

I’m so over the work thing now. I already prepared myself mentally for redundancy in 2020 and my role now is just a job and not remotely taxing for me. However, I am lucky to have had it for the maternity benefits and thankful I can save a bit more. I am already checked out really and going through the motions - the thing I find hard is the not knowing. I know they can’t legally say until it’s certain, but if I knew it was going to be August or December or whatever, I could at least plan for it.

QueenJess

The holidays have been so busy. We’ve been out everyday (apart from yesterday) as DD loves to go out and see things and I’ve been trying to spend time with DS when DD is in nursery in the week.

 Friday we when on an Easter egg hunt with friends and it was a bargain. A lovely old house type place and DS got a large egg - it only cost £3 for the hunt! DD had a lovely time roaming the grounds. Saturday we went to a farm and treated ourselves to lunch out, then went for a walk at a National Trust property on the way back (we have membership so often just pop in). Yesterday DH’s family came round for a roast and apple crumble and today we’re meeting up with some friends again for a few hours at a different National Trust place. DD and DS have had a lovely time, although I think DS is slightly jealous that DH always just leaves me to deal with DD and so I am watching her all the time.

Anyway, I think it’s fairly successful. Just need to plan the rest of the week when DD is back at nursery so I can spend time with DS. Not even planned lunch or dinner for today yet 😬.

I am absolutely not ok though. Struggling to see the point of anything at the moment or looking forward to anything at all. Not really sure what to do about that and it is not me at all. Just hoping it will go away really.

We’ve spent money most days of the holidays, but tried not to spend anything silly. Need to figure out the damage once it’s all over and see if I’ve got anything left to save in the joint account. My own account is dull and I just remove the savings budget each time I’m paid really and throw it into the EF. I do need to reassess my pension at some point and work out if I should sacrifice a bit more or not. Will do that after my next pay day as that will be my first 100% pay cheque after maternity leave and I don’t know the exact amount of my pay as I had a teeny pay rise which is probably offset by tax changes.

I have been doing some extra sorting in the house as when it’s organised and tidy it does make me feel better. Found some bits and pieces to get rid of and they are being picked up today. Also sorted out DD’s clothing as she’s into a new size. I’m glad these changes get longer time periods as it feels I am continually swapping her clothes over! I now have a bag of her old clothes to take to the local charity at some point, but I haven’t swapped trousers yet as I find they tend to run large.

Would love to get back into the garden at some point. I need to sow more seeds and think I may start getting the sweet peas to harden off soon. For some reason my tomato seeds are not happy and I only had 2 come through. Have tried to sow some more and will see what happens. Not sure why that is. The cucumber seeds are coming through nicely though and the dwarf sunflowers are getting quite big!

TallGirl

Sounds like you’ve had a lovely Easter. Don’t panic about the tomato seeds they need heat and take a while to grow. You only need a couple of plants they produce loads. 

QueenJess

I am back to feeling truly awful again - had under 3 hours sleep due to DD not dealing well with teething.  Think I've now figured out the right concoction of things to get her to sleep a bit better, so fingers crossed.  Pottering around at home today and then off out for the day with DH and DS tomorrow all day for a big museum visit.  Friday is not yet planned , but we are trying to have a nice mix of days at home and days out. 

Today I sowed dwarf sunflower seeds with DS (we got a kit as a gift from DH's parents at the weekend) and finally sorted out the veg trugs so we put in half of the potatoes (the others don't look ready to plant yet).  They take up more space than I anticipated and not sure I will be able to squeeze in any beetroot or spring onions once DS sows his carrot seeds as well.  Might have to see if I can squeeze some into a pot somewhere, although still not sure where on earth I'm going to put the cucumber seeds!  May need another couple of pots to tide me over and I will need a couple more large canes at some point.  I did take DS to the garden centre yesterday to get compost and I noticed that it looked like the locusts had been in and taken all the tomato and strawberry plants!  Other than needing to sew lots of veg seeds outside, all the indoor sowing is at an end and nothing to do apart from watering and waiting until I can plant them out.  My pepper seeds have not grown yet, but it's probably not warm enough for them.  I do now have three tomato seedlings (but was hoping for 4 as we love tomatoes).  Hopefully some more will appear.

I briefly looked at the finances and we haven't gone totally mad with money.  Yes we've spent a fair amount of money, but we haven't gone crazy and I still have some of my allocated budget left for this holiday and haven't touched the summer holiday fund.  Will need to see the final outcome next week though.

As much more of my cost is in the winter (everything seems to renew then plus heating, all birthdays, xmas etc etc), I am starting to try and make some lists of things to look out for second hand online for xmas & birthday presents (all in the winter months!).  Things are way cheaper in the summer as everyone is outside and not online buying stuff.  Once it gets to October all the prices are hiked.  I saved so much money buying what I needed in the summer last time!  So just browsing and looking at prices, watching various items and updating lists so I can have a nice sit down.  Can't do too much for DD as she'll change so much before then and it still isn't clear what she likes, but for DS I have a definite list of things.  For both of them though I am on the lookout for various book sets and I am happy to buy a year or two in advance for very good prices.  I am also of course checking the local buy nothing group to see if anything comes up there.

QueenJess

I've been feeling really stressed and not able to relax because I'm so tired I can't remember what I need to do.  It means I continually have the feeling I've forgotten to do something.  So I reinstated the list of things to do yesterday as I keep remembering something and then promptly forgetting again

Today was a "lazy" day in that we were at home.  DH took DS out on his bike this afternoon and I tackled the to do list in a pretty major way.  I am now feeling quite a bit better about it, although may tick off a few more things this evening.  Just didn't want to go into next week for full time work knowing I have a huge list of personal stuff to get done!

I managed to do the following (as well as taking at least an hour for lunch for a rest):

• Cut up and roasted a huge amount of carrots, parsnips and beetroot that were languishing at the bottom of the fridge.  Some were used for lunch and the rest are in the fridge.  Also made a crumble to cook at the same time with some cooking apples and a couple of sad looking pears
  
• Cleared out the veg drawer in the fridge, cleaned it and then restacked the veg in it nicely (including the veg box I hadn't unpacked from yesterday).
• Made lunch and prepped for dinner at the same time, then did the largest amount of washing up known to man!
  
• Rebooked DD's vaccination (they keep cancelling as all the nurses are off due to Covid)
• Complained the milkman got our order wrong (again!) and got a refund
  
• Wrapped up the present for DS's party tomorrow (made the wrapping paper from packing material and the tag from some nice paper - the string was from a balloon DS had from another party).
• Cut up the huge boxes that were in the garage for the recycling bags
• Monitored the bay of e as I had some bids in/put some bids in for items on the present list.  Won 1 I paid for and outbid in another 2 (they overpaid in my opinion).  Still got lots more on there to keep up with.
• Changed the beds, did the washing and it is hung up to dry in the bathroom
• Changed the batteries in DD's and DS's sleep aids, recharged the dead ones and put them back in the box
• DH cleaned the carpet (again) where DD was sick as there was still a stain and he steam cleaned the next car seat for DD so hopefully I can get rid of the old one
• Tidied a huge amount of stuff in every single room, reorganised toys so they fit and found a bunch of toys to get rid of.

Still got a few things on the list to get done, but today certainly helped me power through a huge amount of it.  The house is looking so much better already!

Lunch today was pitta breads with hummus and roasted veg.  Dinner today is lamb shanks with mashed potato, spring greens and peas (should empty the freezer a bit so I can squeeze in my Wa*trose order on Sat for the things we can't seem to get elsewhere (don't ask...).  Pudding is crumble of course and will have to be with custard as I've run out of ice cream.

Right need to run to play with the dinner before I have to feed a baby (DH is back with her any minute).

themadvix

Sounds like a super productive day Jess and you sound chipperer than you have in a while!

 We had to have cream with our crumble because we didn’t have enough milk for custard!