A new royal start

Jessy103

What a rubbish time you've had over the past week. They do say when it rains it pours! Hopefully, it will improve soon, but make sure to take some time to look after you x

QueenJess

Well I think I'm slowly clearing the admin life backlog and the work backlog, although not quite there yet.  Going to be a busy week next week and got DS's hospital appointment which will declutter another around £400 after we also just paid the final deposit for our holiday cottage.  The joint account is looking pretty sad right now and I suspect we're going to have to put some extra money in.  I'm still reviewing the account, but not tracking each expense against a budget which I used to do on a spreadsheet.  It does take time and I'm trying to minimalise my life a bit so I have more time for the things I like.  I am however, very aware that this is the way expenses creep in and up and can get a bit out of control.  I will keep thinking about that and maybe I should have a budget for each month and compare the total spend at the end to the budget I have.  That way, if it's there or there abouts I'm good and if not, I should be able to scan through and identify the overspend so I learn to rein things back again.

After all the stuff happening recently, I just felt so overwhelmed I was a bit like a deer in headlights and it's taking time to dig my way out.  I still have too much food in the fridge after not eating for a few days, but I didn't order a veg box this week so am hoping we can make our way through it slowly.  My to do list is slightly shorter than before, but I am sill struggling to keep up.  I still want to get more time back for the things I love and want to do and spend less on the boring stuff.  I suppose it's a form of minimalism of sorts.  In the same vein, I am decluttering the house pretty ruthlessly at the moment.  If I don't love it and don't regularly use it, it's gone.  I just don't have time to deal with all this stuff anymore and I want to spend more time with the kids.

There was spending this week.. I bought 2 hair clips and 2 hair bands for DD so her hair can go up to keep her cooler and stay out of her face.  It's not arrived yet, but hopefully she'll use them.  She only has tiny toddler hair, but I found a brilliant place on Etsy that sells stuff specifically for that fine hair.  I also got her a second hand little pot to keep these things in on the window sill out of reach of her little hands.  I also bought myself my desperately needed bras, underwear and sandals.  That is an unusual and expensive week for me, but it was all needed stuff.  Oh - and I just paid for DS's holiday club over the summer.  DH is only working 2 days a week (I am on 4), so we only need to put him in for 2 days a week.  Maybe less (you can cancel some days) if I take the odd extra holiday day.  I need to figure out what holidays I should take versus what I have left for this year still.

Whilst in the midst of my decluttering, I discovered some coin albums.  I don't really collect them, they don't mean anything to me and they are annoyingly in my way.  I want the space for some lovely simple memory boxes I set up for DS and DD that has things like their first shoes, hospital tags etc in.  Anyway, these are all going up for sale and I've discovered some of them are worth decent money, so my savings should be bolstered this month.  Got a high value one (£80) to post this morning.  Will be getting the rest of this stuff up for sale ASAP this weekend.

Money wise, my mortgage overpayment fund is looking very healthy after an extra bonus in April and a tax refund.  I will easily be able to make this year's and next years overpayments.  Currently they are sat earning more interest than I am paying on my mortgage, so I have to wait until Jan/Feb next year to get that mortgage down.  I also need to get a bigger emergency fund because my car is 10 years old and although it should be fine for a while, I want to be prepared if I do need to get another one as I don't want a loan.  I also checked my tax code and I've obviously totally confused HMRC because of my bonus in April that they now think is my new salary (I wish!).  I am also on an emergency tax code as they clearly don't know what is going on, so I submitted my estimated annual earnings to them and that should get sorted for next months payroll.

I should follow up with my manager on this promotion thing he mentioned a while ago (although not sure he meant to).  It's gone suspiciously quiet, so definitely not getting my hopes up there.

Lunch today is sandwiches (with lots of salad for me as we have loads!) as DH is out with DD whilst I take DS to gymnastics.  Dinner is spag bol courtesy of DH to use up the mushrooms in the fridge.  Dessert will be the apricot and raspberry clafoutis I made yesterday with my hm vanilla ice cream.  I did try the strawberry hm one too and it takes absolutely amazing... I'm not going back to shop bought!  On the way back from gym we drive past the farm shop, so I will be picking up some cheese from their counter as I need some more and might treat DS to some nice bread for our lunch.  I also desperately need to pick redcurrants and blackcurrants from the garden if I can find a bit of space in the freezer!

kaycastle

I got a spare few minutes to read a few diaries this morning and I was drawn here by your signature!! 
Is that how many items you've decluttered? @QueenJess
That's just incredible, well done! It makes me want to start keeping count of what I declutter but also wish I had done all along As now I've got much better at not buying random things

QueenJess

kaycastle said:

I got a spare few minutes to read a few diaries this morning and I was drawn here by your signature!! 
Is that how many items you've decluttered? @QueenJess
That's just incredible, well done! It makes me want to start keeping count of what I declutter but also wish I had done all along As now I've got much better at not buying random things

Welcome, and yes it is!  I do count every single item though as it reminds me how much stuff I really have (including digital stuff) despite me thinking otherwise.  I'm on a major decluttering mission this year to hopefully end up with a low(er) maintenance house.  I'm a regular poster over on 2023 Decluttering Campaign - Mrs SD (https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6410793/2023-decluttering-campaign-mrs-sd#latest ).  Come join us - everyone is welcome

QueenJess

Well I'm utterly exhausted this week with everything going on plus lots of stuff kicking off at work.  I've been decluttering DS's room with him as he can't keep it even vaguely in order (think stuff all over the floor so you can't move anywhere... I don't need a perfectly tidy room as that's just not normal for a child in my opinion , but I need to be able to move across the floor without stepping on stuff!).  He was overwhelmed with it all, so getting rid of stuff has been way better.  His room doesn't really work for him anymore in terms of storage, so I've taken a couple of units away and bought him a desk and bookshelves.  It looks fab now and my bookshelf move is working great as he's been reading a lot more now it's out from behind the door.

Also spent almost a whole day at the hospital on Tuesday (good value for £190 though...) to find out that DS has a nut allergy and now needs an epi pen.  We had a crash course on it all and have been trained up.  It was irritating to find out that my local area has gone completely rogue and decided that if your reaction didn't require a 999 call, then you don't get tested and therefore an epi pen.  This is not what anyone else is doing and some GP's are cheating the system by sending them to the hospital in the next area.  Apparently they will be forced to change as they are under huge pressure to do so and the consensus is that it is plain dangerous.  I hate postcode lottery situations in the NHS and it is very irritating.  Goodness knows what would have happened if I couldn't have scraped together the £600 in all to take him private. 

Saying that my joint account situation is pretty dire at the moment and not helped by buying DS some new furniture.  Need a couple of cheaper months before our holiday.  I'm currently only doing top up shops to try and run down our freezer to the bottom (and probably defrost it) before building it back up again for the winter.  That should save a bit of cash.  I don't think we have any other major expenses coming up and I have a few bits and pieces to sell online that should help.  I am just trying to ignore the terrifying mortgage rates at the moment and not looking forward to remortgaging next year.  We are definitely going to be squeezed in the next couple of years with that and childcare prices.  Plus I always have to remember that my job is going to be gone within 5 years, so I need to make sure I have plenty in the emergency fund as well.

Dinner today will be chicken frajitas with wraps and whatever veg I can find in the fridge.  Puddings are hm ice cream for the kids and we have yogurt with raspberries and strawberries.  Lunch is um... not sure... tbd!  Better get on now as I have to take DS to gymnastics very soon.

QueenJess

Feeling very poor at the moment. Credit card bill is huge post the £600 private medical treatment for DS, £1k bill for holiday paid 😬 and furniture for DS. Some relief in the form of a couple of eBay sales, cash back from Airtime rewards and an electric bill of £30 for this month. I was a bit tardy with the meter reading and so they sent me an estimated bill of £108. I immediately read the meter and it is actually only £30 to pay! This is one of the main reasons I only pay for what I’ve used as no one seems to be able to cope with an electric only house.. their algorithms just can’t seem to figure it out for us.

Hopefully we can keep costs down this month until holiday. I can cancel some after school clubs now I have Wednesdays off which can offset the huge bill for the autumn term (which you have to book very early as it’s popular) and childcare bills for DD are now £1350 instead of £1800 😬. However, obviously I’m earning a lot less so we just have less cash.

Visited the local nursery this week and was a bit disappointed that I didn’t like it as much as I’d hoped, so it’s now a very difficult decision between keeping DD where she is (further away and more expensive) vs moving her to walking distance (and cheaper). It’s a horrible decision to make and not sure how to make it tbh. I’m trying to think if DD would be happy and what is important to her, although I think she loves running around in a large space that the expensive one offers and the other does not. It’s an impossible decision… I have until the end of the month to decide. On top of that when we would move her is the exact same time work will be manic and DH now tells me he is away that week in the US on some mandatory work thing. So it will be a complete nightmare.

Finally got DS into swimming lessons this week, so one less thing to have parent guilt over. I actually really enjoyed watching him learn. Going to be fun next week as DH is away on a mandatory training course for 3 days, so I am going to need to do everything, plus work, plus getting DS to and from Beavers and swimming. Could be interesting. I think some simple dinners will be required… I should dig out the pizza base recipe from @themadvix so I can make pizza one night.  I’ve also got my first day off with DD as she is doing 4 days a week as of next week.

Still running down the freezer. Dug out some chicken to have for dinner… might do it in a spicy mix (just for the grown ups), with chips and veg. Lunch will be poached eggs, beans, crumpets, mushrooms and tomatoes. Puddings are yogurts for lunch (just the kids, we don’t bother), ice cream post dinner for the kids and we have nectarines and raspberries with yogurt.

I’ve also been really busy doing a big declutter of the house and unsubscribing from emails etc. I am pleased to say that the house looks so much tidier and I didn’t actually tidy it, just ejected things from the house. I’m glad it works as I hate tidying and since I always have a million things on, I want to reduce the stuff so I have less to do and more time to play with the kids and hopefully be a bit less stressed.

Better put my phone down now and pick up my book so I have time to relax before DS comes out of gymnastics.

badmemory

With the childcare choice, it your possible change of mind is to do with something that you are unsure of or something that will actually effect DD.   I do think as mothers sometimes we tend to quite naturally be a bit neurotic, thats a good thing that keeps them safe but we can overdo.

QueenJess

So the initial reason behind thinking of moving DD was twofold. 1 - the nursery is closer and on the way to DS’s school, so we can walk both of them there and significantly cut down pick up/drop off times and the headache of getting both of them. 2 - as the nursery is closer, hopefully loads will go to the local school and DD won’t be starting again. I actually this is point isn’t such a big thing as the vast majority use the school nursery and that isn’t an option for us as it is term time only.

Other perks are the hours are a bit longer which are useful for the odd days both me and DH need to be out the house travelling or just having crazy work days and it is cheaper.  But these are incidental and not part of the decision.

I am trying to put aside random guilt children always seem to make you feel and am trying to work out if she would be happy there and if it is the best place for her. I think she would be fine there and maybe the smaller setting would be better for her from an attention point of view. Downsides is that the place she is in now is more sophisticated in terms of learning (although probably not a big thing for a 2-3 year old anyway) and they also have an amazing outdoor place with woods etc where she can be outside exploring everyday (the other place has an outdoor garden). She is very much an outdoor child and loves playing.

It feels like an impossible decision and not sure I’ll ever know if it is the right thing to do or not. If it is better to stay put then we will continue to manage the pick ups/drop offs etc. I don’t know, I’m in two minds really.. it’s for 2 years and so I’m more hesitant than doing it for a year. It’s a big thing for a 2 year old and she’s very hesitant with new people and takes a very long time to get used to them. I know she’ll have to do it come school time, but I don’t want to put her through it if not necessary.

I’m not sure I’m making any sense any more.. it’s a bit of what is going through my mind!

badmemory

You are making total sense.  My DS is in his 40s so please tell me when I can stop worrying.  Have you thought that a change now would be easier, as in 2 changes before school, than just one change into school.  As she ages (yes ages from 2-4) her reactions may be more focused on other children than the adults around.  As the adults become less important.

No need to listen to me.  I lived where & when there was no such provision so I had a live in nanny who had a lot more spending money than me I have to say.  I still miss the one we had for his first 4 years.

TallGirl

Totally get your dilemma but happy and less stressed mum is also good for the children sounds like less community would get you more time back for you and the family.