A new royal start

themadvix

Such a tricky decision for you Jess, but think I agree with Tallgirl.

Btw, re your comment on my diary the other week - you are doing brilliantly and have two children and their expensive child care to manage - stop beating yourself up! You’ll get to the season of life when you can make inroads into the mortgage when they are a bit older.

QueenJess

Oops - apologies for being awol.  My brain is utterly fried at the moment and I desperately need a holiday.  Luckily we have one booked for the end of next week (a cottage in the UK) so I am hoping I will get myself sorted and back on track.

It feels like there is too much going on at the moment and I can't keep up.  DH has been working reduced hours, but has been utterly useless recently and I've still been doing everything.  DH on the other hand has been swanning off to do whatever he fancies and I'm not impressed.  I've been beating the decluttering with a big stick as all I see when I look round the house is stuff to do.  So tons of stuff is leaving the house daily and slowly the place is becoming more manageable.  DS's room was a big win as he can tidy it himself now and it's never gets too bad.  Still lots left to do though.

DS now has his epi pens and I've been doing all the ringing around, sorting and educating myself (then telling DH about it).  It all feels harder than it needs to be and I'm now trying to work out how to keep them at ambient temperature in the house during the summer (I now have a bag and cool bag for the ones we take out with us, but the other ones will be at home until he goes back to school and then they will keep them there).  I also now need to update various online bits and pieces for school, holiday club, Beavers and possibly gymnastics with the information as well.  Not had a chance to chase up my x-rays again, but I really need to as I can't go on the waiting list to have this tooth out without the x-rays being sent to the dentist.  It's all because the machine to burn them to CD was broken and so they were meant to send them in the post.  It's been weeks and nothing .  The longer it takes the higher my chance is of damage to other teeth and having more out and in the meantime I had an infection there as it's a right pain in the neck jaw.

Work is weird and I'm struggling to motivate myself really.  I feel like I'm waiting it out there as I have a good flexible working deal, even though it's not a long term thing (we will all be made redundant in the next few years) and it's not really want I want to do anyway.  Got told last week that they will promote me (no idea what that does to salary, but any increase is welcome given absolutely everything is increasing in price at the moment).  I also got told that the boss is leaving and my manager will now be in charge.  It's a shame as she was good and I have a feeling we will all be just spreading out the extra work between those that are left..

I'm not really on top of the money at the moment, but it is on the list of things to do.  The joint account looks dire and we are about to go away, plus I need to do DS's holiday club for next term otherwise they get booked up.  That will be another £800 .  I think I will have to take a bit of money out of savings to bolster the joint account.  I can also reserve a mortgage from 5 August (180 days before ours runs out), so I've been looking around.  My current thinking is that a tracker mortgage is probably going to be best and so I will try and sort that out after our holiday.  I have calculated it will be about £200 more expensive a month, which should be manageable.  It won't have an overpayment limit on that, so I will have a rethink on the mortgage overpayments and how to balance them with savings.  I think I need to be practical now and save up for the minimum I need in savings (to cover 12 months expenses if I'm made redundant and a new to me car if mine keels over as it's 10 years old).  Currently I cannot do the latter.  I think I'll need to do this and then after that split any savings between overpayments and savings/pension.  No need to decide now though and I will continue trying to put whatever I can into savings in the meantime until my mortgage deal ends at its current cheap rate.

Before holiday we also need to decide if we are moving DD to the closer nursery so we can give notice on the current one.  The reality is that is it much more convenient and is a perfectly nice nursery, it just isn't as good as the one she is in now and I feel guilty for moving her.  However, I know this is irrational parent guilt and I think we are leaning towards doing this.  I've had feedback from other parents and no one has had anything bad to say about the nursery.  At least it will save us some cash on both petrol and the cost of nursery.

I've also spent a bit on myself in the last week or so buying the odd thing which will make my life a bit better - e.g. a zip up hoodie as I don't have a jacket that I can use to put on when it is slightly colder in the summer.  I have been using a jumper, but it isn't as convenient and a zip makes it more flexible.  I feel guilty obviously for spending money on myself, but I know that is silly.  I did get the odd thing that I didn't need per se, but I will enjoy wearing for a long time.  Will definitely need to rein everything in post holiday.

I've been running down the food stores a bit before holiday, but definitely plenty to get through still.  Today's food is all leftovers... a tomato based stew for lunch with crusty bread and then dinner is a macaroni cheese with spinach leaves and cucumber sticks.  Dessert is the last of the fairy cakes I made with DS at the weekend.

Jessy103

Gosh, you have so much going on as usual jess, I don't know how you do it all! Sounds like you need to have a word with DH about pulling his weight and you certainly shouldn't feel guilty about spending money on yourself if he is off doing whatever he wants! 
Also, don't feel guilty about moving DD, it's only a small timeframe in her life and is she likely to remember it anyway?

Lastly, can I come round for tea, please? It sounds yummy! 😃

QueenJess

Jessy103 said:

Gosh, you have so much going on as usual jess, I don't know how you do it all! Sounds like you need to have a word with DH about pulling his weight and you certainly shouldn't feel guilty about spending money on yourself if he is off doing whatever he wants! 
Also, don't feel guilty about moving DD, it's only a small timeframe in her life and is she likely to remember it anyway?

Lastly, can I come round for tea, please? It sounds yummy! 😃

Of course you can come!  Please bring the lovely dogs

I've barely spoken to DH for weeks as either he or I have been busy.  It's not sustainable.  I did try to speak to DH about it all, but he made me feel worse and angry.  That was days ago and I've not calmed down enough yet to try...

Anyway, whilst my work computer was crashing for the millionth time, I took a look at my budget for August.  My conclusions are that the amount of money I spend on bills is far too high, however, it is almost completely resolved when nursery is no longer there.  Basically all my money is spent on nursery and the mortgage, but I can do little about the former for another 2 years.  However, we have given notice to the nursery and have decided to swap DD to the closer one which actually does save a little bit of money.  I just seem to go round and round on this stuff.

Perhaps more interestingly, I have concluded I spend far too little on "leisure" stuff.  What I seem to do is resolve the too high bills category by stealing from leisure stuff so that I can save more.  I mean that's fine I guess, but I do feel like I want to spend more on days out, holidays and experiences with the kids.  I know you don't have to spend money for that, but I do want to do things more and I don't want to miss out everything to save a little more.  I know it's a nice situation to have, but I do feel "bad" for spending any money on leisure stuff at all which is silly.  Anyway, we had heard about an amazing new adventure park for kids and I threw caution to the wind and spent £40 (😱) on tickets to try it out.  I figure it's practically the start of the holidays anyway...

Budget wise I've decided I will save all this year into cash for emergencies/"new" car fund etc and then next year I will batter the mortgage down.  Better run... fish, chips and peas are done for dinner (pudding will be ice cream or fruit and yogurt).

edinburgher

I'm glad you made the decision re. moving DD. I think it was the right choice but was butting out until you made your mind up

QueenJess

Thanks @edinburgher .  I hate all the decisions that have to be made and just want time off adulting sometimes!  Also dreading her switch in September as she's very shy with new people and it is when my horrible busy time at work hits as well.

Anyway, off on holiday later so I have to really go and get packed.  I did some stuff last night (mainly snacks for the kids as DD is eating an outrageous amount of food at the moment*) and the wet weather gear (it is Wales after all..), but have to get all my stuff, DD's stuff and the rest of DS's stuff packed and the house not looking like a bomb site before 1pm!

I did make healthy flapjacks and less healthy chocolate chip muffins to munch on whilst we are away, although I've been trying to hide them from DH and the kids so they didn't disappear before we even started holiday!

*So for breakfast DD had 2 whole weetabix, 1 bowl of rice krispies, 1 bowl of porridge, some apple and some raisins.  Then she'll go off to nursery for her second breakfast (we pick her up on the way to holiday so I can actually pack without a 2 year old "helping")!  I just don't know where she puts it all!

I also took some money out of my savings (and instructed DH to do the same) to put some money into the sad joint account.  It is stressing me out and I can't see quite how we will make it back.  The medical bills was a bit of a nail in the coffin there, but sadly necessary.  So no savings with this month's salary and it is looking like I may have some medical bills of my own with the wait for this tooth out being over a year and it is causing me problems.  I'm having an initial consultation privately for £175 including a more detailed X-ray because it is in a very tricky place and then will see how much the actual procedure will cost.

MagicCat

Just caught up on your last couple of weeks, I think this new forum has stopped emailing me when diaries I follow update. 

I agree it's the right decision re nursery for DD, change is always hard for them but it will be worth it in the end. Glad you have things sorted for DS and the allergies, it's shocking you had to go private to make sure he got the medication he needs, allergies can be so dangerous.

I totally get the childcare/cash flow issues - I am starting a new job in September that is more hours so DD2 is in nursery an extra day, on paper I should be earning more for working more but after childcare it doesn't look like I am really. Also I understand with the lack of time to talk with OH and the difficulties this can cause - as always no real answers but a virtual hug.

Hope you all have a lovely holiday,  you really deserve a nice break.

Jessy103

Have a lovely holiday Jess x

QueenJess

Well we’re all back from holiday, although my brain refuses to accept that yet. Kids are all over the place as they didn’t want to leave and DD was in a complete mess for bedtime and took forever to calm down and go to sleep. I assume that means they had a good time!

Holiday was good, although I have an annoying health issue which I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and get sorted at the doctors. Not looking forward to the inevitable 4 week wait for that when I ring on Monday 😬.

Need to get on top of the money situation this month now, although not whilst my brain is still in holiday mode! I did switch my cash ISA and cash savings accounts for better interest rates though and I will be spending this evening applying for a mortgage to start on Feb 24 when the current one expires.. rock and roll for a Sat night 😂.

I’ve also discovered that round the corner from DS’s gymnastics there is a Farmfoods and I’ve never been to one before. This is the closest one to us but is too far away to come just for this. I’ve downloaded my £2 off for £25 spend vouchers, written a list and will go on the way back from gymnastics. Hopefully I can stock up on a few essentials to keep the bills down. At least being on holiday has meant I’ve realised how little stuff we need and how much I tend to overstock the food, so I will be using up stores.

Lots of money spent on holiday. When you have lunch and dinner out, plus going to an attraction it gets expensive. DD is still in the stage of refusing cold food for lunch and so we are stuck with finding somewhere hot and I can’t be bothered to feed her in a cafe and then separately make a pack lunch for the rest of us. I’m just accepting it’s currently expensive. We did have a few dinners at the cottage though which saved some money and a few times the kids shared one meal for lunch as they were large. We did find an amazing cafe with the worlds largest portions and could stuff everyone to the max for under £20. We ended up there 3 times!

Dreading work on Monday, so I’m currently not thinking about it. We are continuing the holiday feel later instead by having a board games evening as I picked up some more free ones from Buy Nothing. On the way back I’ll be picking up a basket for garden produce from Buy Nothing. I’ve wanted one for ages as it’s very impractical to stand in the middle of a border picking a handful of redcurrants and then coming back out to get to the bowl, but I’m too stingy to buy myself one!

Lunch today will be sandwiches as DD and DH have gone out whilst I take DS to gymnastics. Dinner will be spag Bol that we took out the freezer last night. Dessert will be choc chip muffins I froze before we left, ice cream or yogurt.

Edit: I have a half idea of trying to offset the price of my dentist appointment next week with some extra earnings, although £175 is probably a bit steep. Will see what I can do…. I am almost at £25 with OnePoll and Opinium, so I may as well concentrate on those and cash out. I must get better at doing Prolific so I can cash out there as well. I sent an offer to the watchers of the one item I have on eBay, but not overly hopeful there. Will have a root around to see if I have anything worth selling, but I don’t think I have.

QueenJess

I did switch our mortgage rate yesterday, although it comes in on 1 Feb 2024.  Just need to start saving money after holiday now!

I am still going to try and run down food overstock in the cupboards and freezer.  I have way more than I need still and it may take some time...  In the meantime there was only 3 chocolate chip muffins left, so whilst DD slept I made healthy flapjacks for snacks as everyone seems to love those (will keep the kids off the more expensive snacks from the baby aisle) as well as two lots of ice cream; one vanilla and one raspberry and white chocolate.  Everything just used from stuff I've had lying around for ages.  Sometimes we make the ice cream more exciting for the kids by adding chocolate sauce, sprinkles or a small wafer; all of which we have in stock.  Should keep them quiet for weeks!

Edit: Dinner for tonight will be baked chicken thighs (plain for the kids, but rubbed with a cajun spice for the adults) with chips, sweetcorn and peas.  Running down the freezer stores for everything since I have no veg box until Thursday.  No prizes for guessing dessert options!  I just found 3 bags of mixed fruit in the freezer so I think compote will be on the list to make in the week to have with yogurt or porridge.