Lockdown breakup - Any chance of getting back together?

Barny1979

She's possibly always known in her mind it was never going to be a fully long-term relationship, as she had an out with the Masters course, may have not been invested for quite a while unfortunately.

gettingtheresometime

Lockdown was hard on everybody but some more than others .....unfortunately it sounds as if you both had the rough end of it being cooped up in a small flat.

If you were shouting at her for doings whilst in this environment I'm not surprised she planned on doing what she did.

now that I've kicked you whilst you're down the best piece of advice I can give you (especially if you want to stay friends) is to message her & say that whilst you wish things hadn't come to this, you respect her decision but hope that you can remain friends, acknowledging that perhaps lockdown brought out a side of you that you didn't recognise (if true). by doing that if there is something still there she'll know the door is always open.

then you need to dust yourself down & don't  become a hermit.

trix-a-belle

As you were told elsewhere, you need to be more aware of how someone is feeling and be understanding of that, you can't take back the shouting at her, & sorry but the toilet paper episode shows both of you were quite childish.
You might have still been together & 'happy' if lockdown hadn't happened but it is quite possible she would still be masking not actually being happy and you being blissfully unaware so the breakup could have always been going to happen at some point due to how she handles things so possibly better it was sooner rather than later (as also pointed out you have kept your house & there aren't any kids involved so be glad its not more complicated than it could have been).
It was your first proper relationship so learn the necessary lessons from it, move on (no that doesn't mean go straight out dating/getting under the next lass to come along whatever they say over there) and apply the lessons to the next relationship whenever it may come along. Getting over someone does take time (you are at sub 3 weeks breakup, its not some magic switch that is going to be flicked) and effort but it should be a growing experience so go and learn a new hobby or focus on something else (in PH fashion go give your car a full service and detail).
Its not just up to you about whether the relationship can be restarted again, thats with her just as much or even moreso, & even if she decides that Spain isn't all sun and sandcastles there is no reason that should mean she will come back to the UK or you. If its meant to come back together it will but you can't hope, pray, force it to or wait for it.

benbay001

Thanks all. 
I read all the comments and dont really have much to say.
Everyone was fair and i took it all on board.

Pollycat

trix-a-belle said:

As you were told elsewhere, you need to be more aware of how someone is feeling and be understanding of that, you can't take back the shouting at her, & sorry but the toilet paper episode shows both of you were quite childish.
You might have still been together & 'happy' if lockdown hadn't happened but it is quite possible she would still be masking not actually being happy and you being blissfully unaware so the breakup could have always been going to happen at some point due to how she handles things so possibly better it was sooner rather than later (as also pointed out you have kept your house & there aren't any kids involved so be glad its not more complicated than it could have been).
It was your first proper relationship so learn the necessary lessons from it, move on (no that doesn't mean go straight out dating/getting under the next lass to come along whatever they say over there) and apply the lessons to the next relationship whenever it may come along. Getting over someone does take time (you are at sub 3 weeks breakup, its not some magic switch that is going to be flicked) and effort but it should be a growing experience so go and learn a new hobby or focus on something else (in PH fashion go give your car a full service and detail).
Its not just up to you about whether the relationship can be restarted again, thats with her just as much or even moreso, & even if she decides that Spain isn't all sun and sandcastles there is no reason that should mean she will come back to the UK or you. If its meant to come back together it will but you can't hope, pray, force it to or wait for it.

Have I missed something?

I can't see any mention of toilet paper in either of the OP's posts.

trix-a-belle

Pollycat said:

trix-a-belle said:

As you were told elsewhere, you need to be more aware of how someone is feeling and be understanding of that, you can't take back the shouting at her, & sorry but the toilet paper episode shows both of you were quite childish.
You might have still been together & 'happy' if lockdown hadn't happened but it is quite possible she would still be masking not actually being happy and you being blissfully unaware so the breakup could have always been going to happen at some point due to how she handles things so possibly better it was sooner rather than later (as also pointed out you have kept your house & there aren't any kids involved so be glad its not more complicated than it could have been).
It was your first proper relationship so learn the necessary lessons from it, move on (no that doesn't mean go straight out dating/getting under the next lass to come along whatever they say over there) and apply the lessons to the next relationship whenever it may come along. Getting over someone does take time (you are at sub 3 weeks breakup, its not some magic switch that is going to be flicked) and effort but it should be a growing experience so go and learn a new hobby or focus on something else (in PH fashion go give your car a full service and detail).
Its not just up to you about whether the relationship can be restarted again, thats with her just as much or even moreso, & even if she decides that Spain isn't all sun and sandcastles there is no reason that should mean she will come back to the UK or you. If its meant to come back together it will but you can't hope, pray, force it to or wait for it.

Have I missed something?

I can't see any mention of toilet paper in either of the OP's posts.

I've seen their posts on the forum they originally posted on which added other details and episodes that had happened

AskAsk

trix-a-belle said:

Pollycat said:

trix-a-belle said:

As you were told elsewhere, you need to be more aware of how someone is feeling and be understanding of that, you can't take back the shouting at her, & sorry but the toilet paper episode shows both of you were quite childish.
You might have still been together & 'happy' if lockdown hadn't happened but it is quite possible she would still be masking not actually being happy and you being blissfully unaware so the breakup could have always been going to happen at some point due to how she handles things so possibly better it was sooner rather than later (as also pointed out you have kept your house & there aren't any kids involved so be glad its not more complicated than it could have been).
It was your first proper relationship so learn the necessary lessons from it, move on (no that doesn't mean go straight out dating/getting under the next lass to come along whatever they say over there) and apply the lessons to the next relationship whenever it may come along. Getting over someone does take time (you are at sub 3 weeks breakup, its not some magic switch that is going to be flicked) and effort but it should be a growing experience so go and learn a new hobby or focus on something else (in PH fashion go give your car a full service and detail).
Its not just up to you about whether the relationship can be restarted again, thats with her just as much or even moreso, & even if she decides that Spain isn't all sun and sandcastles there is no reason that should mean she will come back to the UK or you. If its meant to come back together it will but you can't hope, pray, force it to or wait for it.

Have I missed something?

I can't see any mention of toilet paper in either of the OP's posts.

I've seen their posts on the forum they originally posted on which added other details and episodes that had happened

what happened with the toilet paper episode??  i am intrigued.

Pollycat

trix-a-belle said:

I've seen their posts on the forum they originally posted on which added other details and episodes that had happened

A pity the OP didn't tell the full story.

Maybe the girlfriend was right to do a runner...

benbay001

Search the text in my original post and youre bound to find it. I posted it originally on Pistonheads.

AskAsk

benbay001 said:

Search the text in my original post and youre bound to find it. I posted it originally on Pistonheads.

i am only interested in the toilet paper event.  briefly in so many words, what happened OP?