Abusive partner wants me to go back to him

happyandcontented

We had a case very close to home in our neighbourhood last week. Lovely, vivacious lady 48, killed by her partner after years of neighbours reporting domestic disturbances.  Please don't be that woman. Imagine if the beating of you by the gang of them had gone further and they then had your children alone.....please take all your courage and protect yourself and your children.

crystallou89

onwards&upwards said:

McKneff said:

I would find it pretty easy to walk away from a bullying woman beater. 

Lots of women think that, but these men are incredibly talented at control and manipulation.  Please don't be too quick to judge when their victims don't find it easy to leave.

It's people like this that are part of the problem. Until you have been in this situation, !!!!!! and stfd. This poor girl doesn't need thinly veiled insults, she asked for advice
 I'm a victim of abuse. Took me 3 years to leave him. But I did it and I'm proud of myself. Onwardsandupwards your doing brilliant, and should be proud of yourself for leaving him when u did. Please do not go back  I know it can be hard, but it's harder when you are being abused and a leopard never changes its spots x

[Deleted User]

No-one deserves coercive control . ((If you can watch last Wednesday's This Morning on catch up then do so.))
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jan/21/this-is-not-love-victim-of-coercive-control-says-she-saw-red-flags-from-start

TomokoAdhami

No need to go back to him. It is not only disturbing for you but also a damaging situation for your kids. Leave this man and make a report against him. You chat with https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/ here and discuss your problem. They would definitely help you. I would also suggest you to start any job to bear your expenses. Become an independent lady and leave this man. 

KimBaumgart

Please for your children's sake, leave and don't go back. He is a bad man. Get support from woman's aid, your friends, family.

pollyanna_26

OP I'm wondering if you're the person I and other posters replied to on another thread just over a week ago,

Same circumstances just different user name. I hope you are because I've been worrying after your cry for help.

Now police and aid agencies are in the picture stay strong , He has no parental rights over your children. Referring to him as partner means no need for divorce etc.

Abusers will promise the earth but never change so not worth falling for empty promises.

What happenend to you and your children is unacceptable.

As I survivor of DV I can tell you the adiice offered on this thread is good. It sounds as though you're still where you originally posted from . I'd advise moving if WA or similar can find you a safe place.

Your priority must be to protect the children and yourself. There's a better life for you all and it isn't with him.

pollyx

mydreamality

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Keep away from him and try and find safety whether it's with family or in a women's refuge. Where are you now? Are you and the children safe?

TomokoAdhami

Abuse is not acceptable and we can't justify it at any stage or in any condition. Your self-dignity is more important that's why don't go back. Better to start doing any job for financial stability and believe me you can do it. 

MrsStepford

scaredupsetworried said:

I was in an abusive relationship with him for 2 years. The children are mine not his. I left a few nights ago after he had his friends round and my ex partner encouraged them to help him beat me in front of my children who were distraught and scared, poor things. And then my ex partner and his friends were shouting in their faces for being upset.

My ex partner says I have no reason basically for leaving and "need" to come back to him.

One word. DON'T. Don't put your kids into an abusive relationship. You are stark raving mad if you do. Keep him out of your accommodation, get legal advice, restraining order, or at least change the locks. Talk to Victim Support. Get yourse;f put on the At Risk register to flag any call made to police as urgent. 

tealady

If your children are of school age please let the school know that this man can not have access.