Benefits for 15 year old who moved out

Kim2224

She just has no rules there and thinks is easier. I have had problems for years with her i have rules regarding her phone because she sent naked pics to some one online last year so I take her phone at night and charge it. She doesn't like it home time doesn't like it. Wants to do what she wants and the family don't really have rules with there kids. They Think they will get £450 week Foster money for her so that might be a reason why they are letting her stay. I want her to come home but I feel like she will just start fights to leave.
Started to feel I just deal with it any more it's been 8 years since her behaviour started and she got kicked out of school at Christmas for a knife incident. I will work with the social to see if they can help but I know she's making lies up about me. 

Thanks 
Kym

elsien

John_ said:

What’s the back story here, has this just come out if the blue?

You and her father need to have a talk with the couple with whom she’s staying and find what on Earth they think that they are playing at; that shouldn’t be putting up your child unless there’s something going on here that you prefer not to share.

OP came here with a  specific benefits query, not for relationship advice. They don't need to share the back story if they don't want to. 

Kim2224

It's a long story but the family she's gone to live with came to my house a few years ago threatening me be my daughter had hit her daughter. Now there friends so I don't have any thing to do with them. My daughter starting going a few weeks ago and I had issues because I have a disabled child and she has never since lock down stayed in. That family seem to like teenagers hanging around drinking and stuff. I can't get her dad to speak to her because she won't and just attacks him. She said to me last week she was going to get my kids took away for neglect. Honestly she just doesn't like rules or being told what to do. She's been in trouble with the police loads of time but never been arrested. I spoke to her and said every body has rules in life. So as long as gets what she wants she's happy. That family are seeing her nice side like her boyfriends family did. Now her boyfriends family can't stand her. I had a phone call from her boyfriends mum she had been saying stuff about being at home and they felt sorry for her but none of it was true. They have now seen what she's like. Her boyfriend is now in care because she was telling him what to do when his parents where telling him what to do. It's a mess I am worried my car will get damaged or windows smashed because I have refused private fostering for them. I got pictures from her boyfriends family where they had been looking through his phone and it was a conversation about them trying for a baby. They don't want any thing to do with him while he's with her they say she is controlling him. I will wait for the social to come and see what they say. 
Kym

Kim2224

Update found out this morning social aren't coming now. Some one submitted the request on Wednesday and by this morning it had a red cross on it. It says closed so don't know what that means now. I spoke to a social worker on Tuesday morning and she told me not to offer any money to the family or my daughter. To force them to send her home but now not sure what's going on. She isn't going to come back of her own choice the social said she can't be forced by them or police. I have looked at her phone statements and she's been trying to ring the child benefit line herself don't think she got far with it. Person I spoke to this morning said she will contact them again on Monday and see if they will do an assessment. Maybe it's because she 16 soon or because I have an two assessments already and they never got involved. But it is just a case of rules she isn't being neglected or abused. The plan is to put her child tax credits aside till I know but she might be back soon. 

Thank you 

KatrinaWaves

They sound like the kind of People who will kick her out once they realise their cash cow ‘private foster’ allowance won’t be coming through. She’ll be back...  

Kim2224

Just found out today this morning that the family have took her on holiday without even letting me know. I am just wondering at this point who has parental responsibility for her now. Because I am just waiting for her to come home and I am not allowed to do any thing about her being some where else doing what ever knows. 

Kym

mrschaucer

You said you advised your social worker of the situation and they said they could not force her to come home.  You have done all you can at the moment, so don't worry.  Try and ensure the social worker is kept informed of developments.

sheramber

you could contact Family Lives  to see if they  can offer any suggestions
 https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/your-family/social-services-and-your-family/contacting-social-services-when-unable-to-cope-with-your-child-s-behaviour/

elsien

You have parental responsibility until official steps are taken to transfer it elsewhere. This applies until she is 16 I believe, although I stand to be corrected.
However on a practical level your daughter sounds as if she is well able to express her wishes and views and those would be a large part of decisions being made. I'm presuming the holiday is in this country which isn't a huge step as such.
Just sit tight for now and see what happens. The LA are aware and involved so let them monitor it. 

Kim2224

I think they are planning on letting her stay there she is 16 in November and don't really think social think it's worth it now. She has now refused to have any contact with me and I haven't seen her in over a week. I have been told that some one is going to do a assessment next week at that house and then arrange a meeting between me and my daughter if she says yes. I am not giving consent private fostering. Her boyfriends parents are saying that they won't have any thing to do with there son till they split up. She definitely has two side to her and unless you do something she doesn't like it doesn't show. But my feelings are if she cuts us off now and gets in trouble then she can expect us to help. She is saying that she has been abused here and I told the social services if that's the case then why wouldn't they do a assessment because of my other children. The police have been coming to my house over the last few years because of the stuff she's done out side of the house and some times when we have been rowing. She has been under camhs school said she doesn't see things like other people do. She only has friends that are younger then her and I had a threatening message off the one she's living with. It's all getting stupid my other children have said it's a different house with her here. She has even rung the child benefit place asking them for her money. I put £60 on her bank last week to get some trainers and when I spoke with her she said really did you really give me that money. I have a bank transfer to prove it. Every body says let her go and leave to her to it but she's my daughter and I want her home. 
Its a rant don't know what to do. 
Kym