Should I complain about him?

calmgirl

thanks everyone for all your help and ideas, I am still mulling over what to do but if I decide to go ahead I will let you know the outcome if there is any. With reference to the point made about how can you complain if you don't know what happened? I do feel as if I know what was happening but I also feel that his laissez-faire attitude didn't help. I feel as if he didn't treat me like a human being basically.

mrcow

calmgirl wrote: »

thanks everyone for all your help and ideas, I am still mulling over what to do but if I decide to go ahead I will let you know the outcome if there is any. With reference to the point made about how can you complain if you don't know what happened? I do feel as if I know what was happening but I also feel that his laissez-faire attitude didn't help. I feel as if he didn't treat me like a human being basically.

Well good luck whatever your decision is.

quietheart

calmgirl wrote: »

thanks everyone for all your help and ideas, I am still mulling over what to do but if I decide to go ahead I will let you know the outcome if there is any. With reference to the point made about how can you complain if you don't know what happened? I do feel as if I know what was happening but I also feel that his laissez-faire attitude didn't help. I feel as if he didn't treat me like a human being basically.

I've got an appt tomorrow to go through my eldest's birth notes nearly 7 years after the event. It's something I need to do and I hope to feel clearer after it. Give yourself a bit of time to see what feels right, good luck with it. I can just imagine how frustrating it must be for you to see him.

looby-loo_2

I would complain. You will always regret it if you don't - if this manner is normal there will be other complaints and they will be noticed.

I always regret not complaining. Before the consultation the midwives were being sarcastic about him - saying he had his nose it his car magazine. I explained how at 34 weeks I hadn't felt movement and GP said he thought baby was small for dates. Without any examination or ideed looking up from his magaine he said it was normal for a third baby - more space. As we left he said 'it could be Downs - you'll find out soon, then you'll deal with it 'cos your middle class enough to use the system'
Three weeks later my very poorly baby died.

LondonDiva

Strapped wrote: »

Well, F me, are you a typical example of NHS staff? :rolleyes:

Edited to add: my experiences, of THREE separate incidents, at TWO different hospitals, in TWO different healthcare areas/trusts (including one incident which directly contributed to an early death!) is that no, nothing is done unless you put it in writing. Where's that :banghead: smilie, where no one in the NHS believes that there is anything that could possibly be wrong in the organisation?

What part of talk to PALS first, then complain if you are still unhappy and giving the OP details of independent complaints advocacy is showing that I'm a typical example of NHS staff...believes that there is anything that could possibly be wrong in the organisation ??

What I have done is to try and reassure the OP that there's no reason her concerns should not be listened to whether or not she wants to make a formal complaint and that there's nothing to stop her trying to get answers then complain if she is unhappy about what she finds out.

Your blanket refusal to believe that anyone will bother paying her any attention was (I believe) unhelpful and could put her and others off trying to get information and making up their own minds about how they want to move ahead with an issue.

It is possible to have a concern, be worried or confused without going straight into a complaint, especially if like laurad85 they have not been back to find out what happened. Many people worry that they have somehow not been in control, had best treatment or know / understood what happened, but the sort of 'nothing changes attitude' you've put across prevents them from going back and means people just mull over events over and over again rather than sorting it out or making sure it doesn't get repeated.

If we can believe that ASDA and Amazon customer services will (in most cases) try to sort problems out in the first instance, why would the NHS through PALS and the complaints process not want to do that? There are over a million people working with the NHS, while you may have had a bad experience and not been listened to, it doesn't mean that the OP or others will encounter the same when trying to sort a problem or get answers.

After PALS, there's the complaints process, then an independent review through the Healthcare Commission and then the Ombudsman. If the organisation will not learn or change from your experience, there are sevral levers to make sure they do.

OP, please do believe that however you decide to move this forward, you will be listened to and there is support and advice available to do this.

quietheart

looby-loo wrote: »

I would complain. You will always regret it if you don't - if this manner is normal there will be other complaints and they will be noticed.

I always regret not complaining. Before the consultation the midwives were being sarcastic about him - saying he had his nose it his car magazine. I explained how at 34 weeks I hadn't felt movement and GP said he thought baby was small for dates. Without any examination or ideed looking up from his magaine he said it was normal for a third baby - more space. As we left he said 'it could be Downs - you'll find out soon, then you'll deal with it 'cos your middle class enough to use the system'
Three weeks later my very poorly baby died.

don't know what to say, how truly horrendous. you know it is never to late to complain, it might help. it doesn't matter even if he isn't working anymore, just to help you get closure. so sad for you.

Savvy_Sue

Although in a completely different context to maternity care, I'd just like to say that I have used the PALS service. I'd been trying for MONTHS to get my consultant to complete a form which had been sent to him: I phoned PALS and within 24 hours it had been dealt with.

I have no idea if he is now any better at filling in forms in a timely manner, and I do appreciate that he also needs to carry out long and complicated surgeries on people. Even if I'd put in a formal complaint, I'd have no way of knowing if his form-filling was any better, and by using PALS I got the action I needed without having to make a formal complaint.

Everyone seems to have it in for LondonDiva today, I don't know why because it seems to me that she is trying to give helpful information.

I think she's spot on when she says:

LondonDiva wrote: »

The only thing I'd say is that you are more likely to be coherent and considered in putting your point across in a formal complaint by email or letter.

But she does set out all the other ways you can make a complaint, as clearly it would be very discriminatory if you could ONLY make a complaint in writing.

When I've worked in the public sector or similar organisations, we had to log every single "complaint" call and ensure it was passed to a manager who had to respond to the caller in writing within 7 days. If they could only do a 'holding' letter, they then had to respond within a fixed period. It wasn't always easy working out exactly what the complaint was about if they were upset and going off on tangents or giving a long and complicated history. But we still responded to them in the same was as we did to letters.

Dan_Thunder

Strapped wrote: »

It's absolutely ridiculous that people are suggesting that the OP complain verbally to the person involved. Yes, maybe, if she makes an appointment to sit down and discuss it with him (and if she writes a letter of complaint, she may be invited to do so) but if you want something to change, which do you think is more effective: bringing it to the attention of the place where a person works, and making sure that it is noted on their work record, or just verbally mentioning it to them in passing? The NHS won't do anything at all unless a complaint is put in writing sheesh

I'm sorry but that's a completely blinkered viewpoint. Do you truly believe that the NHS absolutely has to do something? Is it not possible that just speaking to this person may change their behaviour without the threat of disciplinary action hanging over their head? Plus, it's not necessarily about 'complaining' at them, it's about making them aware of their behaviour.

I think that if something can be resolved amicably between two people then that should always be the first option taken, if it doesn't work then - and only then - take it further.

To instigate a complaints procedure without speaking to someone first based on one fairly minor incident, in the scheme of things, seems OTT to me.

If you'd said something to upset someone at work, without knowing you'd caused offense, wouldn't you rather they spoke to you first rather than hearing from your Personnel Manager that you've had an official complaint lodged against you?

Strapped

Dan_Thunder wrote: »

I'm sorry but that's a completely blinkered viewpoint. Do you truly believe that the NHS absolutely has to do something? Is it not possible that just speaking to this person may change their behaviour without the threat of disciplinary action hanging over their head? Plus, it's not necessarily about 'complaining' at them, it's about making them aware of their behaviour.

I think that if something can be resolved amicably between two people then that should always be the first option taken, if it doesn't work then - and only then - take it further.

To instigate a complaints procedure without speaking to someone first based on one fairly minor incident, in the scheme of things, seems OTT to me.

If you'd said something to upset someone at work, without knowing you'd caused offense, wouldn't you rather they spoke to you first rather than hearing from your Personnel Manager that you've had an official complaint lodged against you?

Perhaps, but it is one born of bitter experience with the NHS!

themaccas

laurad85 wrote: »

hi ppl, i was just going to make a post but this one seems relevant! my sis had a baby on saturday but had 2 have an emergency c-section because the baby was breech -baby and mum are now ok shes just phoned me up and said the baby is now going to have to have physio because her legs were up behind her ears for up to a month! my sisters really upset because at her last appointment before the baby was born she wasnt examined, if she was they might have been able to turn the baby. do you think she should complain? ive told her she should mention it but we dont know if were making a fuss of nothingthankslaura

Hi Laurad85

Sorry you sister's having a rough time, I'm not sure how much info she has been given, but diagnosing breech positions is not 100% accurate by abdominal palpation, if the healthcarer - mw/gp/obs suspects it MIGHT be breech then they will arrange for a scan but unfortunately many slip through sometimes due to the way the breech baby is lying. Every baby born this way are given hip scans as it is not normal for babies to adopt this position. You mention the legs were up behind the ears and therefore any palpation would have felt a large mass up by the diaphram and could very easily of been mistaken for a bottom. Turning babies from breech to head down is a difficult thing to do and is not very successful at term, the best time is around 36/37 weeks when there is still a bit of room, some will turn right back again and occasionally babies get in distress during the procedure and end up with an emergency c/section right there.

It must be very disappointing to not have the delivery she hoped to have, I would have felt like that too.
hugs
x

I'm not sure if your sister really has grounds for a complaint but at the end of the day she must do what she thinks is best