Should I complain about him?

calmgirl

When I had my last baby 6 months ago there were complications because the baby was looking up and not budging basically. The midwives were great but then the consultant got called in by the registrar. His bedside manner was basically nil, he didn't acknowledge me at all. There was something wrong with the monitor so even though I was having really strong contractions every other minute they were not showing on the graph. I was in agony so was lying on my side, he came in said" why's she lying like that?", moved my bump to where he wanted it and then proceeded to give me a physical examination even though it was obvious i was in agony. Now I know he needed to do this but there was no courtesy of waiting for the contractions to subside or anything. I basically felt like a turkey waiting to be dressed! He then let me carry on even though it was obvious nothing was happening. I am not naive, this was my fourth baby so it wasn't as though I didn't know what to expect and I did have gas and air etc but no epidural until right at the end. She was eventually delivered by forceps. I had severe pnd the first few months since she was born and I am pretty convinced that the terrible birth didn't help. I have since come into contact with this man at my new job and every time I see him I am so cross, he obviously doesn't recognise me with my clothes on so to speak. Anyway I am unsure whether to report him or not, I am not the sort of person who complains about anything but I would hate some other woman to go through what I did, especially if it was her first baby. Sorry for the long post and sorry if my dilemma doesn't really come across. I know what I went through but it is hard to put into words. Sorry also if I have posted this in the wrong place.

Strapped

I would complain about him if you feel that you have cause for complaint. Simple as that.

I'd think about what you want to happen as a result of your complaint eg request an apology / just want to let the hospital & him know so he is aware of how he came across and upset you / or whatever. I wouldn't hold your breath that much will actually happen - you'll probably just get the standard hospital reply letter, but I think it will make you feel better that you at least spoke up. (You could also complain to the BMC but I doubt that they would take any action because of his manner, only if he had made some bad medical decision).

I expect that you may get some replies defending the poor, over-worked consultant but just ignore them

mrcow

You know what? I think that you need to do something about this or it's going to eat you up.

My first labour sounds very similar in terms of the baby's position and the doctor's attitude (he basically was going to leave me like I was (thinking that I was dying) for two hours to see if "anything happened" or I'd have a section). The difference between our experiences is that at that point I lost it and I had the CS straight away. No thanks to the consultant though.

It's only now I've subsequently had two normalish births that I realise exactly how wrong everything was the first time round. If I'd known then what I know, I would have complained most certainly.

You could start by requesting to see your notes perhaps and take it from there? It is worth considering what you plan to achieve out of complaining? The complaint will go to your primary healthcare trust and they will take the complaint through point by point with the consultant, but in reality, probably nothing will change with this guy........it may make you feel better, or it may just prolong the negatives thoughts that you already have?

themaccas

Oh calmgirl, that's not good. I really think you should write and complain about it or at least make an appointment to see someone so they can sit down with you labour notes and go through them with you. The fact that it has affected you and still continues to do so is reason enough. Consultants are usually called in if there are severe concerns and because they are the ones with all the so-called knowledge and experience they probably forget that they are dealing with real people and male consultants are usually the worst. If he did not gain consent (verbal) from you for the examination then that is assault (although that maybe a bit strong). You could try and contact the PALS (patient advice liason service) at your hospital and they will inform you of who you need to write to or will act as intermediary for you.
Best wishes
hugs
x

Strapped

PS I had a similar labour (four days :eek: ) with my first, who was "sunny-side up" too and I think just about everyone in the hospital had a rummage around, so you have my sympathy! My contractions weren't showing on the monitor either (aparently common with "back labour") so I had some poor midwifery student sitting next to me with her hand on my tum all night, marking them on a bit of paper (I had an epidural by this point so I couldn't feel them either TG).

freyasmum

Hi

I would complain. I had my first baby last year and, although it was no where near as distressing as yours, my doctor was horrible. Giving birth is distressing enough without having to endure treatment like that.

However, as strapped says, I wouldn't hold your breath for any action. A reply, maybe, but I doubt anything will be done about it. It's just a shame that it is people like that who choose to go into what is supposed to be a caring profession!

Lx

calmgirl

thanks everyone, he probably did ask for my consent but I felt so out of it I wasn't in a fit state to make decisions, the registrar and both midwives were wanting me to have a c-section and I had been prepped to the point of the drips , shaving etc but he kept letting me go on a few more hours, the registrar was getting fed up with him too.

calmgirl

to be honest I don't know what action I want taken but I don't want someone else to have to go through that, if it was their first they would be put off for life!

skyeandeviesmummy

My last birth with DD2 was quite bad as well she got stuck something to do with her chin. I can remember shouting at the midwife telling her I was ready to push and she kept saying you are only 7cm dialated dont be silly, even tho she had checked me 20 mins ago with my first dd I dialated from 7 to full in 20 mins. Eventually a consultant walked in and shouted at midwife to check me again I was fully dilated but DD was stuck they wanted to get me from my side to sitting up and I asked for help to which the said midwife said you will have to do it yourself (she didnt want to risk her back) my mum and dh helped me anyway in the end I managed to push her out but the point is that woman ruined what should have been a special event for me just because she wouldnt listen and couldnt be bothered to show any compassion. I wish I had of complained so I think that you should it will help get it of your chest if nothing else. Ive just found out I am expecting my 3rd in July 08 and I am grateful that not all MW or consultants are like this it is a minority that spoil it for the rest so fingers crossed I get a nice midwife like the one I had with DD1.

funky-footprints

Personally after 6 months i think it is too late. if it was such an issue i think you should of done it immediately. Im not defending him at all, I came across a a quite down right pig when i was pg with my first, and 2nd time round my consultant couldnt speak english. (I did complain 2nd time round, but it i believe fell on deaf ears)

If you cross each others paths now i dont think it would create a very good atmosphere ....i think maybe speaking to him directly would be better than writing a letter behind his back, i see that a little cowardly.

mrcow

funky-footprints wrote: »

....i think maybe speaking to him directly would be better than writing a letter behind his back, i see that a little cowardly.

It's certainly not cowardly.

It's simply just the way complaints are processed within the NHS. If you have a complaint, you have to put it in writing or it's not going to be dealt with.