How much my partner should pay to live in my house

JGB1955

steve866 said:

So she should live rent free?

Absolutely - if she starts paying ANYTHING towards the mortgage, that opens up a huge can of worms.

wjr4

How much is your mortgage? How much would it cost for her to live in a house share separately? Personally, I’d say they pay all the bills and I pay the mortgage however we’d have something in writing in case we split so it’s fair for both parties. 

KatrinaWaves

Welshman5566 said:

Thanks all its great to get a bit of unbiased advice.
I didnt think i was being unreasonable and it seems the majority of you agree.
I do have to mention a couple of comments though-

KatrinaWaves said:

Yeah it’s always a great sign of a fantastic relationship when she won’t pay to help you if the fridge you’re both using conks out and you want to charge her for the wear and tear of her !!!!!! on your sofa... 

I said it would be up to me to buy a new fridge/washing machine/sofa/repairs or anything else so not quite the same as what you said.
.Morbier said:

From the information given, it seems neither of you are thinking of this as a long-term relationship, otherwise you'd be adding her to the mortgage and splitting costs accordingly.  I would endorse previous comments and say that if you can't agree terms, then don't do it!

Would you add someone to your mortgage and sign over half your house to someone you had only been dating less than a year?
 Thanks again all for your comments.

You said she specifically ‘wants no responsibility’ over those things, which is not the same as you saying ‘of course she wouldn’t they are mine’

then you said ‘because of this’ you wanted to charge her for wear and tear on your furnishings and fridge. 

I fail to see a disparity between what you said and what I thought was the signs of a terrible relationship... 

Barny1979

No contribution to food, or is she going to buy her own? 9 months is hasty and sounds like you're both not ready to move in together.

letsbetfair

£250 doesn't sound unreasonable, even in a cheap part of the country. One other factor to bear in mind is if the OP is a lot better off financially than their partner - in which case, they may consider being more generous. Either way, being able to discuss this type of thing is important!

newdriver101

It’s important to discuss these things before moving in together and better still have a cohabitation agreement.
I completely agree that OPs girlfriend is being unreasonable and £250 a month is a fantastic deal for rent + bills anywhere in the country BUT there is some merit in OPs girlfriend’s argument and this is lost because of the relatively small amount concerned.  

If we take the money out of the equation and just look at what OP is proposing, there is a difference between saying: 
1. I want you to move into MY house and I am happy to pay the mortgage but want to split the bills 50:50; and
2. I want you to move into MY house and I am happy to pay the mortgage but want to split the bills 50:50 AND charge you a “premium” in case we ever need new furniture etc.

OP’s girlfriend thinks its unfair because the 50:50 split for bills is quantifiable whereas the “premium” OP is charging for possible future furniture is not.  Let’s say for arguments sake that you live in the house together for a year and never buy any new furniture + never need to do any repair work to the house for the entire duration you live in that flat - then you have not split the bills 50:50 as agreed - it’s more like 30:70 (or whatever the exact ratio is).

Bottom line - as others have said - is both sides are not looking at this as a long term relationship and that is where the issue is not whether she pays £150 or £250 for rent/bills...

[Deleted User]

JGB1955 said:

Does she realise that £150 would only buy her a bed in a 6 bed youth hostel room for 5 nights?

Yes but it would be her own bed.

Socajam

Robin9 said:

Would you add someone to your mortgage and sign over half your house to someone you had only been dating less than a year?
 Thanks again all for your comments.

Yes - I married my wife a year meeting her - put her name on the deeds, joint bank accounts straight away.  It about confidence.
PS That was 35 years ago -  we just pool everything with additional separate bank accounts for personal spend.

35 years ago yes, but tin today's society, both men and women are mercenaries and I would not put anyone on my mortgage or accept any payment towards the mortgage.
Tell that person all bills are going to be split 50/50 (the mortgage is not included).

[Deleted User]

steve866 said:

JGB1955 said:

She should be contributing 50% of everything (food/council tax/water/electricity/insurance/gas/house maintenance/window cleaner etc etc) EXCEPT the mortgage.

So she should live rent free?

She'd be neither a lodger nor a tenant so why would she pay rent?  The OP has made it clear (s)he doesn't want the partner contributing towards the mortgage.

Mojisola

steve866 said:

So she should live rent free?

Live-in partners are an in-between group - they don't have any of the protection that lodgers and tenants have and they don't have the marital rights that a spouse has.

The home owner could insist the partner left at a moment's notice and they would have to go.

It's a good idea for the live-in partner to put away what they would have to pay in rent into savings, just in case.