Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay extra child maintenance during lockdown?

southportspenno

If your ex partner has stopped your access to see your children against your wishes then she is in the wrong. If she is struggling financially then offer to help by having the children as per prior arrangement, that way you are offering to help out. 
If you think the children may be suffering due to her attitude during this period, then I suggest getting a court order to reinstate access. I had a partner who thought she could control my access to my children and used it as a weapon, it cost me money the children will never see to go to court, the judge was not happy with her and told me that I was entitled to further access if required. I now have my children when I want and very few issues. Boris stated children should see both parents.
Always pay your normal maintenance but only pay more if it is mutually agreed, you may need the extra money to get your access back.

practicalspender

Why is everyone assuming that the primary carer is spending more than normal during this lockdown period?

The child may have missed expensive activities such as tennis lessons, horse riding, ten pin bowling, dance classes, cinema trips or go karting which has saved a small fortune. Childminders or after school clubs may have been missed and not paid for. Travel to and from school may not have had to be paid for. It may well be that the primary carer is quids in as a result of this time.

Yes the secondary carer has saved money from weekend activities but the primary carer hasn't been incurring this cost instead. 

Assuming incomes have remained the same then spend any money saved on experiences with the child, maybe even with the primary career too.

Sugr23

A lot of the money saved by not having weekend visits might be in the form of fuel/transport savings which the NRP usually funds and can be a significant expense depending on the miles involved (4 x journies each visit). Does this mean the saving should go to the RP? No, because she or he hasn't had this expense. One person's saving is not necessarily another person's expense. Save it for spending on the children directly. 

crmism

Excuse me, but aren't they YOUR children? I sincerely hope that, when they've reached an age to understand money, they don't have the mercenary attitude you seem to possess, but will appreciate and accept their responsibilities to others.
It doesn't matter a jot that your children aren't living with you, or that you haven't seen them for some time. Both considerations are irrelevant. You were partly responsible for bringing them into the world, so toughen up and do what any self-respecting parent would do and pay up your fair share of the costs of their keep.

Comms69

crmism said:

Excuse me, but aren't they YOUR children? I sincerely hope that, when they've reached an age to understand money, they don't have the mercenary attitude you seem to possess, but will appreciate and accept their responsibilities to others.
It doesn't matter a jot that your children aren't living with you, or that you haven't seen them for some time. Both considerations are irrelevant. You were partly responsible for bringing them into the world, so toughen up and do what any self-respecting parent would do and pay up your fair share of the costs of their keep.

Use the quote function because your comment has zero relevance to the OP....

scubaguy

A range of comments here  so I will share my experience.

I was in the same situation.  2 kids living with the ex 250miles away.  She was in late stages of pregnancy and advised to isolate til after the birth so contact between the children & I (their Father) was cancelled until after the birth.  This was mutually agreed as and the children would be in isolation.  I found out subsequently this isolation meant the kids were leaving the house with her BF who wasn't living with them at the time and that occasionally they would all go out for a walk or car trip to the seaside yet she would not allow them to see their father.  We have a Court Order mandating one phone call a week between the children and I so it was a struggle to get a video call with the children during this time as it was "her time" with them and "my time" would be getting repaid later on.  I did manage to get a couple of video calls thankfully.

The issue of child maintenance became a moot point in our situation as the children have been down to stay with me now on a couple of occasions and the nights missed out have been made up.

Would this be an option for the OP?  Saves any mucking around with Child Maintenance as when money gets involved things can get messy.

Sugr23

crmism said:

Excuse me, but aren't they YOUR children? I sincerely hope that, when they've reached an age to understand money, they don't have the mercenary attitude you seem to possess, but will appreciate and accept their responsibilities to others.
It doesn't matter a jot that your children aren't living with you, or that you haven't seen them for some time. Both considerations are irrelevant. You were partly responsible for bringing them into the world, so toughen up and do what any self-respecting parent would do and pay up your fair share of the costs of their keep.

Who was this nasty dig aimed at? Certainly not the OP who has been correctly paying maintenance throughout.