Husband wants to donate his body to medical science, dont know how to feel.

[Deleted User]

Read Professor Dame Sue Black's book All That Remains.

You do not need to read all of the book if the subject is not to your liking, just the first few chapters.

It will give you a great insight into how bodies are used and the process of donation.

donnac2558

I filled in the forms earlier this year all done and dusted.  I had to notify my GP of my wishes.

My thoughts helping train future doctors and not having to pay for a funeral.   My family never visit graves as far as we were concerned once dead you are a piece of dead meat.  So get cremated and a pile of dust or buried and the maggots eat you.  We never paid for headstones or had any grave markers.   I have no interest in religion the idea of some strange man talking about me and God calling me back just silly.

I did use to joke I wanted a Viking funeral floating down the river in a flaming boat with Queen's Bo Raps playing

barbarawright

About 30 years ago there was a documentary  series about medical students on the BBC. One detail I remember is one of them going to a memorial service that was held for the people who had donated their bodies to be used for the students to learn from. I can't remember the details - I assume they didn't refer to the individuals by name - but it was certainly done with respect and gratitude 

onwards&upwards

A relative of mine has done this.  Well, he's still alive but the forms are signed and we've been told what we need to do should he die in the 'right' circumstances.  To be honest I think he did it mostly as a talking point and because having a normal funeral probably seemed a bit dull to him! 

He's donated his body to the local medical school which is also where I did my training.  I can confirm what several posters have said already which is that the donated bodies and tissues are treated with the utmost respect and gratitude for the gift.  There was a very strict code of conduct that we all had to sign before we could enter that part of the building, and the sanctions for any breaches were severe (not that I ever heard of anybody breaching it).  Being able to study real human tissue is incredibly beneficial for lots of health professionals, and I actually found it to be a very profound experience, that had a major influence on my career choices.  

The yearly service for those who have donated is really lovely.  The donor's family members and friends can attend and the students try to go too as a final thank you. 

cymruchris

swingaloo said:

 I know I am probably being a bit silly and I do want to support his decision really. 

No - you're not being silly - he's made a wish, and you're beginning to try and get your head around what it might look like, and how you might cope with it. I think it's a positive move that you've shared it on a forum, and have had some supportive responses. I particularly like @onwards&upwards post above. Nobody likes to think about death, or what we actually have to do when the day comes. If he's clear in what he wants (he can change his mind later) then you need to see if you can get on board with his wish, and work out how you'll want to celebrate his life when he has passed. That might be part of the conversation you have with him now - you say he's kept it quite light hearted until this stage - you don't have to be all morbid about it - would he want a gathering? would he want a traditional funeral service minus the coffin? Find out how he'd like to have his life celebrated in a way that you could also say goodbye. And just to reiterate - you're not being silly. 

sheramber

My FIL donated his body. The family held a memorial service for him. he notified his GP .  
My MIL was not in favour and always said it would be up to  what happened after he died. I asked her if she would go against his wishes but she would not answer.  
She died before  him so that question never  arose.
he died in a care home and his wishes were carreid out.

swingaloo

Thank you all. The replies have certainly helped me to see things in a different light and hearing about how the trainee doctors etc treat the bodies has reassured me. Thinking about it in more depth I think one of the worries I had was that after a death (and I have had several to deal with) there are the funeral arrangements and several things to do which I think keep you busy and helps get the  bereaved through the first few days. Where with the body donation they are just gone and there are no arrangements. He said he doesn't want an 'everyone gloomy funeral' and that our close family and friends should just go out for a nice meal and talk about how awful he was, his words not mine!
I think I need to take all these comments on board and then the two of us can have another chat about it. However strange it may feel to be doing it I do want reassure him that I am ok about him signing the paperwork as it is really what he wants to do and Im quite proud of him for feeling that way.

JWM

swingaloo said:

Thank you all. The replies have certainly helped me to see things in a different light and hearing about how the trainee doctors etc treat the bodies has reassured me. Thinking about it in more depth I think one of the worries I had was that after a death (and I have had several to deal with) there are the funeral arrangements and several things to do which I think keep you busy and helps get the  bereaved through the first few days. Where with the body donation they are just gone and there are no arrangements. He said he doesn't want an 'everyone gloomy funeral' and that our close family and friends should just go out for a nice meal and talk about how awful he was, his words not mine!
I think I need to take all these comments on board and then the two of us can have another chat about it. However strange it may feel to be doing it I do want reassure him that I am ok about him signing the paperwork as it is really what he wants to do and Im quite proud of him for feeling that way.

If helps, DS is on a medical degree at Uni. Part of his course involves using dead bodies.

This isn't done to Year 2 (the first year is all theory), and DS has said that it is completely respectful of the fact that this was once a human. Everything is done for the pursuit of knowledge and experience. He says he learnt so much more from 'his' body then could ever be gleamed from books alone.

Students are encouraged to attend the Funeral, and are always aware that this was once a loved and cherished human, not just a slab of meat.

In fact, DH and I are considering this - anything that helps our future medical professionals.

pollypenny

It's something I've been thinking about, having benefited from the care of Great Ormond Street Hospital as a baby, pre NHS. I'm nit religious, but I do believe in paying back so I will do it, although OH will have to be persuaded. 

suejb2

I’m an organ donator. I assume you can’t do both?