Missy’s family of 4, paying off debts, saving for a house and just trying to survive!

WinterWarrior

i don’t know what he’s denying Missy,  but if there is proof then take pictures on your phone if you can…emails, texts, anything to back you up. He may want you unsteady and on the back foot to take full advantage. With hindsight I would carefully gather what ever information I could. I'm so sorry today is horrible, but never doubt that you can get through anything life throws at you and things will get better. 

Elisheba

I'm so sorry, @missymoo81 When a relationship ends it feels like someone has died, but instead of processing and grieving you need to spend all your time dealing with the consequences and aftermath.
As people have already said, take legal advice. At this point you are not in it to make friends, and the only person who will benefit if you try being nice and generous and let things go is your soon to be ex. This is the time you need to stand up for yourself and make sure you get your fair dues. 
I hope you got some sleep. I hope you are okay. Sending huge hugs. 

Four_Seasons

so sorry Missy, I second all of what winter warrior says (been there done that - twice!! yes I am an idiot!) evidence is key.  please get good legal advice you have worked so very hard to built the business and support OH through difficult times.  Don't doubt yourself you are a strong lovely woman and you will get through this and things will get better.  Sending you hugs x

[Deleted User]

Missy- I'm two years on from my split wirh my husband. I knew he was seeing other people but had no proof. He left his laptop open for the fiest time in 6 years and I found it. I'm not sure it's going to change anything by you having proof. Brutal as it sounds 'you are where you are'.

If he is seeing somebody else then she'll pop up at some point. 

When I found out I did nothing. We had the initial anger etc and then I did nothing. 
I was in a slightly different position to you in that I stayed for twelves months and spent that time planning my exit. 

Advice I would give

Accept it's over- there's going to be no negotiations on having him back. Don't compromise - you're better than that. 

Give yourself the rest of the week to process the bomb that has just been exploded through your life. 

Tell your friends- be honest, be truthful and the good ones will be there when you need them.

Next week speak to a solicitor about where you stand legally. 

Don't worry about the house for now. That can come later down the line. 

Please don't torture yourself about who he may be with. It's not important now, what is important is you msking sure you have the strength to get through this. I'll send prayers your way. If you want to DM me we can chat some more x

peb

So sorry to hear this. 🤗

Cheery_Daff

Hugs Missy, that sounds like a rotten situation to have to deal with. Can't add anything helpful, just to make sure you look after yourself. I know my mum walked away from my dad with very little, thr house got repossessed, not much maintenance etc, because it all felt too difficult to sort out - but then we struggled financially for a lot of years. Get the help you need xxx

dawnybabes

Start a claim straight away for UC as a single person.  If you worked for him for 4 years you are entitled to redundancy at the very Least. 

Look after yourself in this x

rugbymadfamily

So very sorry to read this, sending virtual hugs and chocolate. I havent got anything practical to add that hasn't already been said, but fight for what you have put in financially and fight for your job / redundancy / payoff whatever that looks like in your situation. I have no idea on the legalities of any of this so make sure you speak to a lawyer and gather all proofs of assets (personal or business) that you have paid for.

Take some self care time, a bath and cup of tea can work wonders. As hard as it sounds, try not to think about who he is with or anything like that, it wont change the situation and will only make you feel worse.

Sending thoughts and love your way xx

peb

Once you have time to breathe dig out the paperwork from the house purchase.  I'm hoping that you did sort out a proper declaration of trust.  

missymoo81

I have deleted this and my other post. Everything got a bit close to home and I realised that I was telling too much of my personal life when I shouldn’t be really. It’s not what this forum is about. I really thank you all for your kind words and support, I’m going to take a step back now and try and sort my life out. Thank you so much for being there
 xx