It's time to begin.....

CRANKY40

Humdinger1 said:

@Kakiste it's all coming together! I don't want to insert worry where it's not warranted: how do you think he'll react while being driven home by you (just the two of you in the car?) after you've broken the news in the gym cafe? Is it even worth having a cab booked for him to take him home while you head off to your new house? Love Humdinger xx 

It doesn't sound like a lift home is part of the plan if Kakiste is parking her car where he can't see it? 

Humdinger1

You may be right @CRANKY40; it seems to say both.  @Kakiste sorry if this is coming across as interfering; many of us have sadly all too relevant experience of this situation.   Love Humdinger xx 

Kakiste

Yep @CRANKY40 is correct. My plan is to meet him, tell him and then leave. He's got his bike at the gym (We usually put it in the car) and it's only a 15 minutes bike ride home, also his gym friend will still be there so if he wanted/needed a lift he could get one from him. It's not like he's going to be stranded. 

Humdinger1

Thanks @Kakiste; good to know that you won't be alone with soon-to-be EXH.  Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

poppy811

Have been reading your diary for sometime and just wanted to wish you good luck

Kakiste

Doors at my house are being hung tomorrow. Curtain poles are being delivered tomorrow and hopefully up by the end of this week. 

Humdinger1

Exciting! X

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like your plan is coming together. How old is your daughter and will she need preparing at all for such a sudden move? Presumably you will discuss custody arrangements at a later stage or do you you already have an idea how it will work? 

Kakiste

We've had a few subtle conversations together about divorcing. She's as prepared as she can be I think without me actually telling her outright that it's certainly happening- because I don't want to put the burden on her to keep a secret and I don't want to risk security of my plan by entrusting it to an 8 year old. The only thing she's raised was a concern that it was going to be put on her to 'choose' who she wanted to live with full time. I've explained (with helpful contrast to a good friend of hers whose parents have separated a few months ago) that we wouldn't make her pick between us and we would decide as adults what was going to happen and make those choices whilst considering what was best for her. I then explained that this would almost certainly result in her having 2 bedrooms- which actually made her very happy- she's seen both of her friend's bedrooms so she sees the clear advantage there. I also explained that whilst it is a sad event and will be sad for her- it's also much better for adults to have their own houses and be happy than have one house together and be unhappy and arguing. 

After that the only thing she was concerned about would be if she could have a new pet.   (she's chancing it I think but I'll allow it- I've said we'd look at the space and the budget and decide if/what pet would would have together. I think she's going to lose her mind when she sees the chicken coop as she's always wanted chickens. - 

Humdinger1

Just wondering how you are @Kakiste? Love Humdinger xx