Money Moral Dilemma: Should I accept payment for doing my vulnerable neighbours' shopping?

d.too

Doing the click and collect is hardly any more risky than a home delivery, the only difference is the goods are put in my car, instead of on my doorstep.

alisma73

I would advise not taking the payment, it’s likely you would be getting your shopping anyway so there is little or minimal cost to yourself. We all deserve a good turn in times of need and maybe this person could use their skills to help you in the future I.e. bake a cake, plant from the garden. Sometimes we just all need to be more gracious as a society in giving and accepting help/assistance from one another. 

rdone

Take the money and then buy them a bunch of flowers or something out of it when there's enough or give it to charity.  If they want to give it and you've told them no then it's their choice.  What you do with it is your choice.

meknowalot-51

Well done for helping out your isolated neighbours,nice gesture.Your not asking for anything and clearly your uncumfortable with them giving you the money for your time and fuel.Explain to them that your doing this as a charitable thing and taking the money  makes you feel uneasy so their gift to you has to stop.If they still insist then let them know it will go towards the local food bank.

KxMx

That's awful advice. 

Even if neighbour is doing it out of charity that is very different to actually telling them that. 

I am vunerable and if someone was doing my shopping I would be mortified and very offended to be told that. If they said they just wanted to help me out then that's very different from using the term charity. 

I am also one who would insist on paying my way, if not in cash then in gifts. 

I have my pride, dignity and independence thank you very much!

christurner49

I am screening and my neighbour gets a newspaper for me whenever she goes shopping. In return, I cut her grass because she has back and hip problems. Quid pro quo.

Alkiv

KxMx said:

They may want the dignity and independence of paying for a service rather than accepting help. Allow them to do so. 

I would then use that money to buy them a  gift such as a nicely potted houseplant or ornament after this is over. It could be given at Xmas or other occasion.

Napoleons_Nose

My suggestion would be no.  If they live close by or not taking you too much away travelling from home, then it's a lovely gesture to do this on their behalf.  As for going to the grocery store, you could be doing this while getting your own provisions, so no extra journeys are made & it's not putting you out any further.  I do this for an elderly couple also.

eao

My first instinct was, of course, 'no,do not accept any payment,' however after reading the very considered replies I am reminded of a lesson that I learnt from one of my sons at a family celebration lunch in London.  I was the paterfamilias and always assumed that it was my privilege and responsibility to pay the bill whatever about the protestations of my employed children;  he said to me, "You have got to learn to accept graciously."
So in this scenario I would say, "I will accept, but only the payment for my parking charge" and, if necessary, modify that downwards depending on the financial situation of the housebound person.  Thus everyone's dignity is maintained.

Nikki_Gilbert

I shop for my neighbours. They have offered me money but I have refused.  Instead several of them have given me gifts - chocolate, a loaf of bread, wine, fresh asparagus, plants... just once, not every time I have done their shopping. Personally I think this is a far nicer way to treat people. They understand that I do their shopping just because it's the right thing to do for your neighbours - and some of them have , off their own bats, given these small gifts.