Money Moral Dilemma: Should I accept payment for doing my vulnerable neighbours' shopping?

pollypenny

It depends on the relationship, I feel. If you are real friends as well as neighbours and had regularly done favours for each other, I'd make a joke if of their attempts to pay and say that you'll be asking them to do something one day. 

If it's a case of pride, I like the idea of saying something like you can treat me to a chocolate eclair or something and put one in. 

HellenofTroy

I feel so guility just asking my neighbour to buy me one item from the supermarket.
I know that everytime he goes he is risking his life for me also.  I would rather pay him to go and not feel so guilty 
and also in great thanks.
Definately accept the money out of gratitude.  Bless You !  

ellykirk

I’m shopping for a number of vulnerable people atm through a local volunteer agency. I have to phone and tell them how much it is before I drop it off so they can have the money ready. I round up or down a few pence for the sake of change and they usually round up a bit too. I told the agency when this first happened and she was ok with it, but one lady gives me a few pounds extra every time so I buy tins and put them in the food bank collection. This week, she gave me £21 for an £11 shop-some of that will be rectified next week!

tindella

They will feel better if you accept it - people like to pay their way - and they are clearly grateful for your help.  Maybe save it up - and get them something each at the end of all this - or just give it to an appropriate charity.  Well done for helping out!

Alan_A_Holmes

Older people, because of how and when they were brought up tend not to want to beholding to people who help them. It was just the times they were brought up in.

My suggestion if they do insist you take the payment is to either put it in a pot, and buy them a super gift when we come out of this, or donate to a local NHS charity, and let them know what you've done when we come out of this.

If my Mum was still alive she'd have insisted on paying me for helping her, she did that even in normal circumstances. I gave up trying to stop her and just used the money to buy her a bigger than normal Christmas present, and convince her it was something she really needed.

jrio

A lot of replies seem to be missing the crucial point that the reimbursement is "more than twice my fuel and parking costs".  I would certainly point that out to them, if they want to ensure you're not losing money from fuel and parking costs.  If they still insist on paying the same amount then, as others have suggested, I would donate it to a foodbank or other charity.

Tonino

The older generation have a lot of dignity. By accepting this small payment, they're holding onto this. I've done things for my mother in law in the past who's insisted on reimbursing me for my time. It was hard to take payment from her, but my wife made me realise that by doing so, she somehow kept both her pride and independence. It's costing your time after all, so graciously accept and either treat yourself with it, or give it to your favourite charity. 

fabulous_at_any_age

As someone who is also elderly, I understand how they feel. Please accept the money if offered because otherwise they feel guilty and can't have you doing the task. Then you can either buy them some flowers, save it up and buy them something when this is over or give it to charity for the food shop workers. Whatever you do, TAKE IT. 

MrsR00

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I'm going shopping for two vulnerable neighbours who can't leave their homes due to coronavirus. They insist on paying me what they would for a supermarket delivery - £3.50 each - even though I've told them I'd do it for free. This is more than twice my fuel and parking costs, so I feel like I'm taking advantage of them by taking the money.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

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I would keep the money and when the lock down is over buy vouchers with the money saved so that they can save on their shopping going forward.  That way it's been like a little savings for them too.  You don't seem to mind doing it and are doing it at the same time as your own then you are already there so it's no extra bother.  Would honestly put the pennies in a jar, save them and buy the vouchers at the end of the lockdown.

REJP

I am in the position of having to stay shielded until end of June. My young neighbour gets shopping for me but refuses any offer of money towards costs.  She says it does not cost her extra to go shopping for me, and as we have known each other for very many years she looks on me as an uncle and would not feel happy taking money.
I discussed this with my son who cannot visit as he lives 170 miles away.  He sent her flowers with a "Thank you for looking after my father" message in the container, from a large high street store, ordered online.    My neighbour was delighted with the flowers, told me it was the first time she had ever received flowers in her life.
Might be an answer to this dilemma.  It does show the shopper is appreciated.