Money Moral Dilemma: Should I accept payment for doing my vulnerable neighbours' shopping?

cwc1899

No!
Maybe accept a cup of tea or something, but currently most of the supermarkets have waived their delivery fee for certain groups or have lowered it to a negligible amount or may have waived it altogether.
Don’t play with your conscience By accepting any cash from an elderly person...

[Deleted User]

Without knowing your circumstances I suggest you refuse payment, because that appears to be how it is being seen, if they are paying the same as a delivery would cost.  You are not a delivery service, you are doing a favour and it ought to be accepted as such.  It is their part to graciously accept.  I understand their pride, but you are entitled to yours too.  Decline it gently, explaining that you are pleased to be able to help a neighbour in these difficult time, but if you need them to pay expenses agree an amount to cover your costs.  I am receiving help and should not like to think my young helper was out of pocket, but he has declined to take anything, on the grounds that his mum takes him when she does her own shopping!  I plan to give him a gift of cash when it is all over, as a student I think he may make use of that, and perhaps a large bouquet for his mum.     

Faceuptoreality

Gonna-be-debt-free said:

“Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.”

If you have already had the discussion with them about not wanting payment, but they have insisted, then accept gracefully.  They probably believe they are doing something nice for you in gratitude for your help.

Why not tell them that you will accept a smaller payment - say £2 and then they feel better and you are not seen as doing it for the money?

REJP

veronica01 said:

I have just saved 22.00 a month on my gas and electric because they changed from green star to shell but they have charged me 30 for changing over when it was the company that changed not me

Sorry Veronica, but this is a bit off topic.  Understandable as I see it is your first post.  Would you like to post about the current topic instead?  It is outrageous that your energy company have done this to you, perhaps you could discuss this with Citizens Advice Bureau or Trading Standards Department of your local Council for advice.  Personally I would be looking for another supplier.
Have you thought of sending a message about this to MSE team for comment?
Stay safe.

paul19822013

Absolutely not.

my neighbour has insisted on paying me for ding things for her.

my answer is, what she gives me, I put to 1 side, I will  then buy her some flowers or a small gift or something for her garden to the amount she has given me. I the have not accepted any payment and feel good about my-self.

giving to charity is an option but you may offend your neighbour by doing this.

Yav

I can see why they want to compensate you. They don’t want to feel like Users. Ask them to put the £3.50 in a jar and once this is all over maybe they can do something nice for you in return for all your help. A gift is always more acceptable than cash in circumstances like this.

d.too

I am in a similar position,  I do click and collect for my elderly neighbour who isn't able to go out.  She wants to pay me for going,  saying she usually pays for home delivery (she can't get a slot now) but I've refused until last week.  She appeared at my gate at the weekend with a gift of chocolates and wine, saying it was to stop me becoming depressed by Boris's message!  As  these  must have been in the  shop I brought her,  we smiled at each other and I accepted gracefully.  She says it's a generational thing, "I'm my mother's daughter,  I worry about being beholden to someone!"  

Brinz

The clue is in the content - vulnerable - although I suppose it would cost them to go shopping in ‘Normal’ times. You could explain how little it costs you to go and half what they give you is more then enough.
However, I’d strongly suggest you shop online for them and yourself, combine the order, to negate delivery charge, add theirs first so you know how much to ask them for and sort out any difference at point of delivery. That way you’d be STAYING AT HOME, SAVING LIVES AND PROTECTING THE NHS  because by going shopping for them you increase risk of infection of self and them. You have access to a computer, you’ve emailed Martin for advice. So get a supermarket online account, shop online, save your life, your neighbours and the planet

Be_Happy

Suggest a nominal amount eg £1 say it's to cover petrol used.  If shopping for myself at the same time and she insisted on paying, I would buy flowers or a magazine.

I experienced rejection as a giver and it really hurt.  I'd heard that a neighbour was getting depressed during lockdown and gathered a supply of magazines I had in the house that had articles I knew she would like.  When I offered these to her she said that she was well stocked up with reading material.  I felt really snubbed.  It would have been so much easier if she had taken them and binned them.

d.too

Brinz, we can't manage to get home delivery slots, my neighbour usually does her own online shopping, but she's not classed as 'vulnerable' so can't get one any more, hence the click  and collect!  We tried getting her onto the list but failed.  I can't get a slot either,we have tried.  I don't mind going to collect the shopping.