Money Moral Dilemma: Should I accept payment for doing my vulnerable neighbours' shopping?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I'm going shopping for two vulnerable neighbours who can't leave their homes due to coronavirus. They insist on paying me what they would for a supermarket delivery - £3.50 each - even though I've told them I'd do it for free. This is more than twice my fuel and parking costs, so I feel like I'm taking advantage of them by taking the money.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

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Thrugelmir

Donate the money to the NHS charity. 

Gonna-be-debt-free

“Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.”

If you have already had the discussion with them about not wanting payment, but they have insisted, then accept gracefully.  They probably believe they are doing something nice for you in gratitude for your help.

KxMx

They may want the dignity and independence of paying for a service rather than accepting help. Allow them to do so. 

gettingtheresometime

In normal times have they done favours for you such as taking in parcels etc?
If the answer is yes then I'd remind them of that and say that you are paying their friendliness back.
If no then I still wouldn't take their money.

hb2

I remember a quote from a book I read long ago "In accepting a gift we honour the giver". It sounds as if the OP's neighbours are more than happy to give and can afford to do so. My suggestion would be to accept graciously and then do whatever they like with the money. 

Torry_Quine

It can be hard to accept that someone wants to give us something. I agree though that by taking the money you are giving them their dignity. You can give it to charity if you feel uncomfortable keeping it.

TheAble

Gonna-be-debt-free said:

“Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.”

If you have already had the discussion with them about not wanting payment, but they have insisted, then accept gracefully.  They probably believe they are doing something nice for you in gratitude for your help.

Couldn't have put it better

Gonna-be-debt-free

TheAble said:

Couldn't have put it better

I can't take credit for it - it's a quote from Alexander McCall Smith

daivid

I would never have thought about the angle of accepting for their sake but agree totally. If you don't want the money give to a good cause, by the sounds of it they can afford it as they are saying it is what they would pay for a supermarket delivery - they may feel guilty that in this small way they would be profiting so want to pay it to you.

7849Wendy

I shop for my neighbour, she gives me her home made marmalade, I give her my magazines, find a commodity, give small gifts back, you feel better, she feels valued, you could become really good friends