Advice Wanted........please

azurepurple

Just to let you know that somebody else is thinking of you and your wife at this difficult time. I have suffered a miscarriage and can understand how you are feeling. We were told that we couldn't become pregnant again without IVF due to various reasons and just as we were about to to begin our first course that month I became pregnant, so Doctors aren't always right. I am now mum to a 7 month old baby. Perhaps though you could both arrange to see your GP to see if he/she can offer some advice, or look into things further for you. You sound like you are very supportive to your wife and it's good that you are both trying to get through it together. I hope you both feel better in time.

mini

Hi

I am so sorry to hear of what you have been through, I can personally recommend the miscarraige association, it was such a relief to be able to talk to people who understood, I would say to look after yourselves, each other, talk, laugh & cry together, it is such an emotionally painful experience combined with the physical side as well, chances are what you are bothering feeling is normal, you are grieving, definately keep talking to each other or anyone who understands & supports you.

mini

System

charlotte664 wrote:

Many people have this type of sad event take place many times, but also go on to successfully have many children.

I agree with that. My first child died of congenital heart defects, and ive also had a miscarriage but i went onto have 5 more perfectly healthy children (although it doesnt take away the pain for the ones i lost). What i am saying is, dont give up, i am glad i didnt because i sure as hell felt like giving up after my daughter died.

FranDan

Feel for you both.

Hope you can find some sort of comfort in all these sad stories. Misscarriages are extremely common, unfortunately we never seem to find this out until we experience them.

Often they occur during first pregnancies as the womb prepares and matures itself ready to carry a baby to term. However mine occured during a second pregnancy at 3mths. Although I was fortunate enough to carry two more healthy babies.

I have a friend who suffered an eptopic and have been lead to beleive that once a tube has been removed the body compensates. Instead of releasing eggs from alternate sides each month, the remaining tube will ovulate every month. Thus chances of pregnancy remain pretty much the same. Perhaps somebody could confirm this?

Take your time and heal yourselves.

Aril

I am very sorry to hear your news. It's happened to many of us and many of us have gone on to have children [I had very mixed feelings when I found I was pregnant again. It was something I desperately wanted but also completely terrified me.] I read up on miscarriage as much as possible- cut back on caffeine and my doctor put me on a much higher level of folic acid as soon as I found out as research showed that this may prevent miscarriage.
Regards
Aril

Tam

Yes Frandan , that's what they told me too.

dee2005

I would have thought that ectopic pregnancies are pretty common. Forty years ago my mother almost died as the result of one. I have suffered four miscarriages. I have not yet carried a pregnancy to full term. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself and consider the fact that you and your wife are still both alive and enjoying life.

quietheart

Tam, hope you are ok and please don't let the harshness of the above post upset you. You have both been dealt a raw deal and have every right to feel the sadness and hurt that you are going through. We've been through IVFs and miscarriage and it's soul destroying, we've got 2 boys now and I do believe it makes you appreciate them more when you know how lucky you are to have them. It's really hard now but the odds are in your favour, I'm sure you'll have a positive outcome.

dee2005

I feel that I have to reiterate what I have said in my previous message. Not only did my mother almost die from an ectopic pregnancy almost 40 years ago, but she only discovered 3 years ago that one of her ovaries had been removed during that operation to save her life. However, that did not stop her from going on to produce 2 more babies, with only one ovary. I think that only proves what I believe in, which is that if it is meant to be, then it will happen. Nowadays, too much emphasis is put on statistics and information. Be thankful for what you have, and if you receive more than what you wish for, then be even more thankful.

aliasojo

The thing is dee, that there are kind ways to say things and abrupt ways to say things. Telling someone who is obviously going through an emotional time to 'stop feeling sorry for yourself' falls into the latter category.

Not everyone deals with things in the same way. There is no right or wrong way....just our own ways.