I'm so lost, the pain is unbearable!!!

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  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313
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    I had to let my Cocker, Gunnar, go in 2004

    He was the love of my life, seriously

    Letting him go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Ive been there for all my pets before and since, but saying goodbye to him broke my heart and its never healed

    I knew it was his last day and rang the vet to organise them to come to us. They wanted us to go to them, telling me how expensive it was going to be as it was a Saturday and would be after surgery closed, like who was caring about money. So I insisted and they agreed.

    Mr S couldn't cope so left the house

    Gunnar went to sleep in my arms in his favourite chair eating malteezers. I make no apology for admitting I never moved for 4 hours or more until Mr S insisted it was time to lay him to rest

    Ive had another cocker since, another who has had to be let go. Ive had a cat, taken too soon as well. All I have shed tears  and grieved over, but nothing touches the ache I have in my hear for Gunnar

    !6 years later and I still grieve. And Im not ashamed 

    He truly was the most amazing dog ever, no other pet I have had could shine a light on him. It was love at first sight for both of us, he never for the 11 short year I had him strayed from my side

    That loyalty and love remains with me and I will never forget him

    Does it get easier? Only in as far its no longer an every day thought of hes no longer with me. When I do think of him and I do think of him often its just as painful. It was only yesterday when me and Mr S were talking about him, and remebering silly things about him. My eyes still watered but I was able to remember him and talk about those memories without falling to bits

    You loved her, she was part of your lives, an important part. Grieve for her, she deserves it and heal in your own time 
  • Thank you for your kind words and sharing your memories of Gunnar, he does indeed sound like he was a really special dog and I'm sure you are thankful for having him in your lives for 11 (sadly short) years. It's a month tomorrow since she passed and we cant believe it's almost a month, It doesn't feel like a month whatever a month is supposed to feel like?  and we're doing okay, still a little sad some days, better others. A family member and a friend have both given us framed photos of her and they are really nice, she really was a beautiful girl,not sure when we'll put them up but certain they will be put up when we're ready. 

    Thank you again for your kind words and that applies to all who have taken the time to reply, I still feel it was the right thing to do in creating this thread about our Coco as I still feel sure I will look in on it from time to time and it will remind me of how special our pets are when I re-read it 
  • SovOque
    SovOque Posts: 12
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    Hi. I'm a newbie here, but saw your topic and desided to answer.
    Sorry for your loss. You did everyting you could for her. I'm sure she was surrounded with your love and care whole her life. 
    (I'm sobbing while reading your story, tbh...)
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