I'm so lost, the pain is unbearable!!!

donnac2558

I am so sorry for your loss.  It leaves an empty space that nothing will fill.   Grieve it will take time and remember she knew how much you loved her.  If after a time you feel the need do get another dog.

I had to have my Burmese girl  Delilah who was 17 put down on the 20th of April.   Because of covid19, I could not even go in with her at the end had to stand outside in the car park.  I thought her kidneys had finally failed as she had been on medicine for 3 years because of kidney problems.  But the vet felt a mass in her abdomen even though she seemed her usual self on Saturday by Sunday she did not seem to be eating.   I have to go collect her ashes today and bring her home.

hb2

I'm so sorry for those of you who have lost a beloved companion, I know how much it hurts. It is 10 years since my 'best boy' left me - my lovely 3 legged cat who lived on to the age of 19 - and I swore I would never put myself through that kind of pain again. Of course, I did and I give just as much love to the current cats in my life. After all this time I can now think of him with joy rather than sadness, even though tears are running down my face as I type this!

onlyfoolsandparking

TripleH said:

I still remember when my dad had our dog put to sleep (i was a child and the dog had been around before I was born). I howled and shouted at my dad before running and crying in my room. What I'd do to have time with either one.
Not being heartless, but time does help heal and there will be someone else out there to allocate the unused love to.

Not heartless at all, I fully understand your statement. Thank you for your kind words, although still raw I can see how time will help.

onlyfoolsandparking

sheramber said:

Sorry for your loss.She will be waiting you at Rainbow Bridge https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm

Treasured Friend

I lost a treasured friend today
The little dog who used to lay
Her gentle head upon my knee
And shared her silent thoughts with me.

She’ll come no longer to my call
Retrieve no more her favourite ball
A voice far greater than my own
Has called her to his golden throne.

Although my eyes are filled with tears
I thank him for the happy years
He let her spend down here with me
And for her love and loyalty.

When it is time for me to go
And join her there, this much I know
I shall not fear the transient dark
For she will greet me with a bark.

Unknown

What a lovely poem. Thank you.

onlyfoolsandparking

boxer234 said:

Sorry for your loss.  My girl boxer died from a heart attack aged just 3 last year.  I really struggled after.  Time does help the tears are replaced with smiles and happy memories.  I second the blue cross they were a fantastic support to me.  Be kind to yourself take it one day at a time. 

My heart goes out to you, such a young age, I guess its always a gamble getting pets hoping we've used a good reputable breeder or they have no health conditions from birth but a gamble IMO, you couldn't have known same as ourselves, our Coco,s sister is still around (owned by a friend) and its just luck of the draw but as many have said we have our memories and they are great memories, I will always be thankful for having our dog in our lives. 

onlyfoolsandparking

donnac2558 said:

I am so sorry for your loss.  It leaves an empty space that nothing will fill.   Grieve it will take time and remember she knew how much you loved her.  If after a time you feel the need do get another dog.

I had to have my Burmese girl  Delilah who was 17 put down on the 20th of April.   Because of covid19, I could not even go in with her at the end had to stand outside in the car park.  I thought her kidneys had finally failed as she had been on medicine for 3 years because of kidney problems.  But the vet felt a mass in her abdomen even though she seemed her usual self on Saturday by Sunday she did not seem to be eating.   I have to go collect her ashes today and bring her home.

Thank you for taking the time to reply with such kind words at what must be such a troubling time for you also, I feel for you. We too weren't able to go into Crematorium because of this virus, had to place her in a basket outside and it was hard leaving her. I hope your ok picking her up today in fact let me tell you, you will be. We felt a little sense of joy bringing our Coco back home where she belongs a strange joy but just felt right cant quite explain what I mean but I hope you experience a little comfort doing the same. 

onlyfoolsandparking

hb2 said:

I'm so sorry for those of you who have lost a beloved companion, I know how much it hurts. It is 10 years since my 'best boy' left me - my lovely 3 legged cat who lived on to the age of 19 - and I swore I would never put myself through that kind of pain again. Of course, I did and I give just as much love to the current cats in my life. After all this time I can now think of him with joy rather than sadness, even though tears are running down my face as I type this!

Thank you for those words, they give hope that pain diminishes and memories strengthen. 

AntoMac

You made a grown man cry reading your opening post. Sorry to hear of your heartbreak. Like others on this thread I can relate to your pain. Unfortunately the inevitable price for all the love and joy we give and receive is a heavy one. We know that one day they will break our hearts. My Auntie once told me the price of love is pain, which is so true.
I definitely treasure every day my best boy (actually a cat) is around but have also had the joy and pain of dogs historically. Time does heal but it isn’t quick. The subconscious expection that you’ll see them in their usual place/doing their usual things takes a long time to go away.
You will always have the memories of the love and joy that you were blessed with. 

onlyfoolsandparking

AntoMac said:

You made a grown man cry reading your opening post. Sorry to hear of your heartbreak. Like others on this thread I can relate to your pain. Unfortunately the inevitable price for all the love and joy we give and receive is a heavy one. We know that one day they will break our hearts. My Auntie once told me the price of love is pain, which is so true.
I definitely treasure every day my best boy (actually a cat) is around but have also had the joy and pain of dogs historically. Time does heal but it isn’t quick. The subconscious expection that you’ll see them in their usual place/doing their usual things takes a long time to go away.
You will always have the memories of the love and joy that you were blessed with. 

Apologies for making you cry but I feel sure it just your 'animal lover' side expressing itself. Many thanks for your kind words, I can relate to your Aunties thoughts, a wise woman I'm sure.
Well its been a week today since we lost our little 'Furry creature' (that's what I used to call her lol) and whilst its still raw we feel like we can identify with the time healing analogy. We are having ups and downs each day and I keep making the mistake of thinking she's lying down on the landing or on the rug only to realise a split second later she isn't there. The house dynamic has definitely changed and feels a lot quieter, not something we've experienced for 9 years but to be expected I guess. We're experiencing strange feelings of guilt wishing we should have done more for her, what that would be we're not exactly sure but as I said strange?

All I can really say to end this thread (it feels right to conclude it) is we're getting through day by day, we know there's no more pain for our Coco, we miss her but she will never be forgotten and we're very grateful to her for everything she gave us. A big thank you to everyone for your very kind and most helpful words, lets hope this Virus buggers off soon.  

Edit: just to add I'm glad I wrote all this down and really take a lot from all the replies, I feel sure I will look back on this thread in years to come and it will generate a warm feeling.      

Katiehound

onlyfoolsandparking said:

 
  We're experiencing strange feelings of guilt wishing we should have done more for her, what that would be we're not exactly sure but as I said strange?
 

 

 No, that's very normal 
You will think what could we / should we /might we /have done?
and you have to stop that train of thought, you can't go back in time!: just accept you did the best that you could and reflect on the wonderful life that you had with your dog. There's a HUGE dog shaped gap in your life now, and it will take quite a while to get used to that.

Hopefully when this shut down is over and life returns to some semblance of 'normal' and you have had time to reflect you will decide that another dog would be just perfect. Of course you won't forget Coco but I bet there is some dog in rescue who would just love to cuddle up with you... in time.........'cos once you have owned a dog a house doesn't seem very homelike without a waggy woofer to greet you

Take care.