SLLM (Single Lady Large Mortgage)

Sandyra

Sistergold said:

👆🏾Ladies could we call the above “Marriage dos and don’ts”? 

I'm not married yet, so I will listen in earnest to these nuggets of wisdom. 

slm6002

I always dealt with our money, budgets and bills as OH was never any good with his finances.  We never had a joint bank account.  It worked well for us and since he left I think its been easier as we haven't had to split these.  I do think it has shocked him now he has had to fend for himself and can see how much things actually cost

pollyanna24

Hello!

I am up to page three of your diary and am inspired!

I am a single mum to two girls and my ex left me almost 10years ago.  He sold his half of the house to my brother and I have since bought my brother out.  Scary times and I can relate to everything people have said.  I worry about the house falling down around my ears while I am too concerned with bringing the mortgage down.  The windows need doing and there patches of mould and damp which is worrying.  Oh, and the roof was leaking for a bit.  Yawn!

My aim is to pay off £10K a year (bought my brother out (in 2016) and so far I have managed it.  But now my ex has said that he doesn't know if he can continue maintenance due to Covid, so again a worrying time.  

So by the end of this year, hoping for £150,000 to be left which means 15 years till I'm mortgage free (I'll be 54, but better than the 65 the building society has down!).

I'm not in London, but just outside.  Worked in Central London until Covid and now working from home which is saving me over £300 on travel and money on breakfast clubs etc.  Still paying my childminder (mum) as it's not her fault she can't work, but seriously think I will have to review this because I think my boss has finally realised I can do all my work from home!


Back to reading your diary in between bouts of work that my boss sends me!

HelloB

@Sandyra Good for you on getting 5x income multiple. To be honest, I did not want to have such high leverage but I was in crisis at the time of rapid mortgage application and didn't have the head space to move house. With many mortgage lenders now, you cannot access the overpayments as it's not put in an offset reserve account.  It just goes straight into paying off the principal, which will have a corresponding decrease to interest. 

Well done on saving £1,250 a month into the EF and being in a secure employment industry must be comforting right now! 

How does Marcus work?  Is that a fixed period savings account?  

@Sistergold Marriage dos and don'ts. I'd be here all day! But the most important thing I wished I had known is that physical, emotional and financial abuse don't happen overnight.  Words/promises do not always translate to actions. The effect is so gradual that I'm ashamed I didn't realise it sooner.  But I'm pleased for you to have independence now and kept your career intact.  

Similar to you on credit card usage, I tend to use it for groceries/holidays for cashback and s75 protection. But pay the full balance off monthly. I hadn't even considered that in my emergency strategy prior to you mentioning it!

@slm6002 My thoughts are with you.  Similar to you I had assets prior to marriage, while my ex entered with eye watering debt. My ex spent £40k in 2 months after our break up (probably went on drinking and gambling holidays with mates), then proceeded with financial demands/threats.  That's a story for another day. But know you're not alone in regaining your house back.  

How did you get on with your mortgage lender?

@pollyanna24 Mortgage free all on your own by 54 is really good!  Congratulations on being financially on track.  I think you're right in the way daily office attendance will change.  Companies are all looking at ways to decrease operating expense, office rental is high in Central London.  I expect more companies will allow WFH at least some days of the week, with rotating teams hot desking. Is your mum dependent on you paying for daughter's childcare?  Has she got another income stream?
 

slm6002

@slm6002 My thoughts are with you.  Similar to you I had assets prior to marriage, while my ex entered with eye watering debt. My ex spent £40k in 2 months after our break up (probably went on drinking and gambling holidays with mates), then proceeded with financial demands/threats.  That's a story for another day. But know you're not alone in regaining your house back.  

How did you get on with your mortgage lender?

Hi there, yes my OH also came into the marriage with lots of debt and after 12 or so years we finally paid it off.  3 years later he is gone.  Since leaving he has also set up a new loan of 6k for a car and bought a puppy for several thousand pounds, which is now eating better than him.  I have issues about the loan as we are still tied and he is still linked to the house.  The loan was given based on him living here too, and as I enquired if it was allowed, the company are now wanting more information as it is not allowed.  Once all paperwork has been signed I will give them the information that they need.
The mortgage people I am with have set up a meeting to discuss my new mortgage and how to get OH off the deeds, although will not count my benefits as income so unlikely they will be able to help me.  I did find that the Halifax accepts benefits and that is who I bank with so I will ask them if it is likely.  Not sure really when I need to do this.  Wait for decree nisi, or decree absolute, or until financial order has been finalised?  Need to get onto my solicitor and ask really.  Also need to see what they can do re chasing up OH to get his bum into gear as stalling for some unknown reason

Sistergold

Thank you ladies for sharing please feel free to share your frustrations and solutions as I know it will help others today or tomorrow. 

HelloB

@Sistergold Thank you for starting this thread. I'm finding it therapeutic during lock down.

With BoJo announcing the Support Bubble, how do you decide which other single household to 'bubble' with?

Back to the original point of your thread, overpaying a large mortgage on one income. Having a lodger can help, we can tax free income as homeowners up to £7.5k. https://www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/the-rent-a-room-scheme   With Covid 19, I wouldn't risk lodgers now.

I've also found that WFH meant I pay more for food and bills, as my work provided free lunch. So I've been meal planning and batch cooking.  

Another way to save money is doing some small household jobs myself, thanks to the University of Youtube.  I was going to pay trades people to deal with my garden (mow the lawn, weeding, pruning) and sorting out the bathroom mouldy seals.  I no longer pay for a weekly cleaner and got myself acquainted with Marigolds! 

@slm6002 You don't need to wait for decree nisi ("DN"), prior to agreeing a financial settlement. Once DN approved by the court, the signed and agreed financial order can be sent to the courts immediately for judge approval.  But if you want to risk it (I wouldn't), you can apply for decree absolute 6 weeks and 1 day after receiving DN, prior to the financial order being approved. https://www.gov.uk/divorce/apply-for-a-decree-absolute#:~:text=The%20decree%20absolute%20is%20the,the%20delay%20to%20the%20court.

Good luck with your discussion with Halifax, depending on who you get at the other end of the phone they are one of the best in actually listening to individual situations.  I spoke to a bunch of high street lenders prior to using an IFA and Halifax were the only ones who seemed to understand my complex predicament and gave me good pointers. 

Sistergold

HelloB said:

@Sistergold Thank you for starting this thread. I'm finding it therapeutic during lock down. 

With BoJo announcing the Support Bubble, how do you decide which other single household to 'bubble' with?

Was asking myself this just the other day? Does it mean I am now forced to make my Ex the single house I bubble with? Like now we need to arrange for the children to go to his and he will be wanting to see them from time to time. I avoid seeing him at all cost and I would want to see maybe a friend so already that’s 2 possible houses? I have not met any of my female friends in all this we just communicate through whatsup chats.

HelloB said:

@Sistergold?
Back to the original point of your thread, overpaying a large mortgage on one income. Having a lodger can help, we can tax free income as homeowners up to £7.5k. https://www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/the-rent-a-room-scheme   With Covid 19, I wouldn't risk lodgers now.

Yes it’s really a wonderful thought that we can decide what we want to do in our homes and in the area of OPs a lodger can be like the house paying for itself (I like that thought)? 

I am planning to get a lodger but I am not in a hurry. It’s just nice to have that as an option for sure with the tax exemption making it a nice arrangement. 

Sistergold

@pollyanna24
Hello there and welcome. Wow your story really inspired me as I am still a bit new in this land of being single with children and a mortgage to tackle! I really like that you have really focused on paying down your mortgage as truly after renting for a while it also the most important thing for me to sort out really! It was also nice that your brother came through when you needed him and welldone for being able to now buy him out! Once you reach your target of £150k mortgage balance I am sure you will be able to save for the necessary works to the house! Having a house is such a big responsibility hey? The maintanance can be a bit much at times! 

becksport

Hi All,
This is a really great thread and I just wanted to share my story with you as I have been through similar things but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

In 2005  I left my partner, took my 2 children aged 3 and 7 and moved in to a rented home with 30k of debt. I booked a removal van to turn up one morning and took some things from the house but left behind most of the newly refurbished 'family' home. I only worked part time and the rent for the new property was the same as my wages. I have always been careful with money but I became really frugal whilst still making sure my children didn't miss out. I was happy in my rented house but I was paying someone else's mortgage and I couldn't/wouldn't settle. I wanted to buy my own house as it was alien to me to rent.

In 2006 I found a semi detached 3 bedroom house to buy - it was originally 2 bedrooms but had been made in to 3. I had to get a mortgage 15 times my wages in order to buy it - thank goodness for self certificated mortgages. I look back now and realise why my parents were horrified but I was so determined to own my home in a nice (school) area it was all I could do.  I took out an interest only mortgage fixed for 2 years at a 7% interest rate as I couldn't afford to pay anymore as all my wages went on the mortgage. We lived on any extra money I could make, surveys, cashback sites, matched betting etc. When the mortgage came up for renewal in 2008 I had to stay with the same lender as although I had changed jobs I still only worked part time and didn't earn enough to pass the affordability checks. I remortgaged for another 3 years on interest only with the interest rate of about 7% again. During these couple of years I made the house comfortable by putting in a drive, extending the kitchen, replacing the bathroom, adding a porch and by decorating. I even managed to save the money to take my children to Australia for 5 weeks over Christmas and New Year.

Not long after I did the remortgage the interest rates fell dramatically and I was paying nearly 3 times the amount of interest that I would have if I hadn't fixed it and I still had years to run. This got me extremely annoyed and I vowed to start paying the mortgage off when the fixed rate ended as I didn't want the banks to make anymore money off me. 

The fixed rate ended in 2011 and I still had £125,000 to pay off. I started making a payment a day by rounding my bank account down to the nearest zero - ie 209.36 -paid 9.36 off mortgage. My mortgage was with Birmingham Midshires who did not have any online accounts. I wrote down the payment I made everyday and added it up at the end of the month which was quite an eye opener. When I received the yearly statement which ran into pages and pages it really made an impact seeing how much it all adds up. I carried on doing this and it got to be quite an obsession and soon I was rounding my bank down to the nearest hundred everyday. My children never missed out - we had holidays abroad and my daughter had a pony all paid for by making extra money as I didn't want to work full-time as I needed to be there for them. I paid my mortgage off in 2015 at the age of 36 - £125,000 plus interest all paid off in 4 years. I hadn't even earned that much but my determination was unstoppable.

Since paying off my mortgage I have had a loft conversion done, back extension, the whole house refurbished, all the furniture changed, garden and drive redone and a 3 storey side extension. My house is now 6 double bedrooms and 4 bathrooms and is so clean and tidy - my children are older now though. I also bought myself a Mercedes car this year and put on a personalised plate (that was my present to myself). 

I am still on my own which is great because everything I have achieved is through my hard work and determination and no-one can take it away from me. I still only work part time - 3 days per week but with annual leave and TOIL it usually ends up at 2 days most weeks. I have started having a holiday every month as it is 'me' time now.

Sorry for the long story but I just want to wish you all well and show that anything can be done as a 'single parent' (I hate that phrase) if you have the determination (and obsession helps).
I wish every single one of you well.
Good luck.