£20k for a wedding?

Pollycat

Whilst I've already said that it's up to the bride & groom (and whoever else may be helping to fund the wedding) how much they spend, I personally do think it's silly to go into debt to pay for it. But that's just my opinion.

HRH_MUngo

IMHO it is a complete waste of money.  We got married in a registry office with twelve guests and then a home-made reception.  We just wanted it to be legal, not some sort of show.

We are retaking our vows next year at our 50th Wedding Anniversary party...it won't cost any more than the party, because one of the guests  will be doing it. (we have a short list of three who can do it, all of whom are either retired or current Pastors).

However, if people want to spend silly amounts on getting married then I suppose it is up to them....providing then that the marriage is not an anti-climax, which it may be if they have only focused on the wedding.

pickledonionspaceraider

Can't we just happy for another couple...they always feel the urge to give their requested opinion on something that is little to do with them

Retireby40

pickledonionspaceraider said:

Can't we just happy for another couple...they always feel the urge to give their requested opinion on something that is little to do with them

Correct. We could be judging everyone based on what they spend their money on.

Sometimes it just comes across as jealousy and being judgemental. 

onwards&upwards

pollypenny said:

And people wonder why they can't afford a house. 

I don't think its struggling 20 something renters who spend 20K plus on weddings.  Probably more likely to be the well off, settled 30 somethings who already have a house.  People are getting married later and later remember. 

onwards&upwards

Retireby40 said:

What one decides to spend on their wedding really is up to them. It also depends very much on earnings too and social circles. 

In our lives we overspend on different things. Some want a £1000 phone when a £200 one does the same. Some drive a 30k car when a 10k one does the same. Some want a 20k wedding instead of a 2k sign a document and go to a community centre for a party.

All depends on your tastes and what you want. 

Hear hear, live and let live! 

I wonder how many people judging those who spend on weddings buy a new car regularly when a second hand one would get them from A to B just as well. 

Personally I'd never spend that much money on one party, but I have been known to buy expensive pieces of furniture when Ikea would be fine for the job, so who am I to judge?

74jax

onwards&upwards said:

Retireby40 said:

What one decides to spend on their wedding really is up to them. It also depends very much on earnings too and social circles. 

In our lives we overspend on different things. Some want a £1000 phone when a £200 one does the same. Some drive a 30k car when a 10k one does the same. Some want a 20k wedding instead of a 2k sign a document and go to a community centre for a party.

All depends on your tastes and what you want. 

Hear hear, live and let live! 

I wonder how many people judging those who spend on weddings buy a new car regularly when a second hand one would get them from A to B just as well. 

Personally I'd never spend that much money on one party, but I have been known to buy expensive pieces of furniture when Ikea would be fine for the job, so who am I to judge?

Totally. I have a well known thread on the weddings board about my wedding.  We wouldn't have spent 20k on a wedding but could have, it exactly as you say - it's what you chose to spend your money on - everyone is different.... I got my dress 2nd hand but hubby bought me Jimmy Choos.... 😍.  Some like to go straight on honeymoon, we waited 6 months (weather at destination).
There's no right, wrong. Everyone has different ideas.
The car thing is a great example. I love my car. I replaced it like for like last year. A friend commented why on earth would I bother, same colour, model, reg. A new car to him is something you show off. Whereas mine gets me to work... Yet if he gets joy in different cars, let him.
I've mentioned the quote this thread was started discussing to my hubby who hadn't heard it either. Maybe it's an old wife tale of sort..... 🤔 

Pollycat

onwards&upwards said:

pollypenny said:

And people wonder why they can't afford a house. 

I don't think its struggling 20 something renters who spend 20K plus on weddings.  Probably more likely to be the well off, settled 30 somethings who already have a house.  People are getting married later and later remember. 

I agree.

Or are spending on second weddings.

Adam Gibbs, 36, and Sarah Summerskill, 33,

Jenny Maybury, 39, and Michael Bromwich, 36,

Jack Trowsdale, 27, and Claudia Dickens, 25,

onwards&upwards said:

Retireby40 said:

What one decides to spend on their wedding really is up to them. It also depends very much on earnings too and social circles. 

In our lives we overspend on different things. Some want a £1000 phone when a £200 one does the same. Some drive a 30k car when a 10k one does the same. Some want a 20k wedding instead of a 2k sign a document and go to a community centre for a party.

All depends on your tastes and what you want. 

Hear hear, live and let live! 

I wonder how many people judging those who spend on weddings buy a new car regularly when a second hand one would get them from A to B just as well. 

Personally I'd never spend that much money on one party, but I have been known to buy expensive pieces of furniture when Ikea would be fine for the job, so who am I to judge?

I agree with this too.

I said up-thread that it's nobody's business other than the people paying for the wedding.

Or the new car.

Or the holiday.

Or the piece of jewellery...

pickledonionspaceraider

Difference in generations I guess? I got wed far later in life than my parents

My parents were still teenagers when they got married in the early 70's. Moved in to a small rented bedsit, with the largest item they owned at that time,  being an ironing board. All 'housey'  wedding gifts were very very gratefully received by them.  Wedding presents they had were things like casserole dishes, crockery etc  They are still together, still very much in love, and now retired.  I am not sure if it was common for teenagers to be getting wed, at that time

Me and husband were in our mid 30s when we got wed.  We didn't need any house items, and requested no presents - although we did get some welcome cash gifts, which was lovely.  We did get a few traditional type presents, but not many

I try my best not to judge people, it's not always easy, i think being judgemental is human nature, but I do try and not be, as best as I can - but in all honesty I am not flawless, who is?

I wonder if society expectations have shifted.  The expectation on the young seems to be get a career, house and other stuff.  Not to get married too soon.  I mean these days you don't really hear of teenagers getting married (well I don't)

Retireby40

pickledonionspaceraider said:

Difference in generations I guess? I got wed far later in life than my parents

My parents were still teenagers when they got married in the early 70's. Moved in to a small rented bedsit, with the largest item they owned at that time,  being an ironing board. All 'housey'  wedding gifts were very very gratefully received by them.  Wedding presents they had were things like casserole dishes, crockery etc  They are still together, still very much in love, and now retired.  I am not sure if it was common for teenagers to be getting wed, at that time

Me and husband were in our mid 30s when we got wed.  We didn't need any house items, and requested no presents - although we did get some welcome cash gifts, which was lovely.  We did get a few traditional type presents, but not many

I try my best not to judge people, it's not always easy, i think being judgemental is human nature, but I do try and not be, as best as I can - but in all honesty I am not flawless, who is?

I wonder if society expectations have shifted.  The expectation on the young seems to be get a career, house and other stuff.  Not to get married too soon.  I mean these days you don't really hear of teenagers getting married (well I don't)

Think a big factor in that is that women no longer rely on men to provide a living for themselves meaning women can enjoy the freedom they maybe didnt have 50-100 years ago.

The whole need to rush to get married is outdated. Nowadays there isnt the stigma attached with living with a man and not being married. Also theres no longer that stigma of having a child without being married. It's easy to criticise aspects of this society but those above things are definately improvements.