£20k for a wedding?

74jax

pphillips said:

74jax said:

Marvel1 said:

All that for a legal piece of paper!

Weddings and marriage are different.   It's not that cost for the piece of paper. OP is talking about weddings....... 

It depends what you call a wedding. If you just want to go down the registry office, pull two strangers off the street and then fly off for the honeymoon - the wedding should only cost about £200.

That's why I said it's not 20k for the piece if paper that Marvel1 was talking about. You can get that for the registry fee. 
The 20k is for wedding which the OP was talking about. 

Savvy_Sue

DH reckons that a wedding is the worst possible start to a marriage. 

We did ours on the cheap. Doing well so far ...

Pollycat

I've been married twice.

The first one lasted over 10 years, current one is 30+ years and counting.

Both were in Register Offices.

Of course people do spend £20k on a wedding.

Nowadays there are castles to be booked, photobooths or candyfloss/popcorn booths to be supplied and all the myriad things that brides and grooms (or their parents) think are important for their big day to be a success.

I guess if you want your day to be in a place like this:

https://bijouweddingvenues.co.uk/venue/botleys-mansion/

or this:

https://bijouweddingvenues.co.uk/venue/cain-manor/

it comers at a price.

But really...unless you are being asked to pay for a £20k wedding, is it anything to do with you what people spend their money on?

Some people put some of the cost of their wedding onto guests by having a ceremony on some far-flung beach, thus combining the cost of a wedding with the honeymoon.

Imho, that's worse than spending £20k on a wedding here in the UK.

But that's a subject that's been done to death on many a thread on MSE over the years.

pickledonionspaceraider

Pollycat said:

Some people put some of the cost of their wedding onto guests by having a ceremony on some far-flung beach, thus combining the cost of a wedding with the honeymoon.

Imho, that's worse than spending £20k on a wedding here in the UK.

That I agree with.  Some friends of ours got married abroad last year - and much of the financial aspect seemed to be pushed to the guests

The hen night, was a 3 night spa break - where all the  invited hens were to cover a percentage of the brides stay, plus full whack for their own.  It was in a top notch country manor house type place

The stag night was a weekend in Europe, with the same financial set up for the stags

Then the wedding itself, the guests were to pay for their own flights and accommodation, as well as the usual outfits and present / cash gift.

We politely declined invites to all of the above and wished them well.  We told them the reason why, that we couldn't get on board with the idea of paying out ££thousands.  We have not had a holiday in nearly a decade, because we cannot afford it.

It did seem a lovely day though, some fantastic pictures and they are perfectly suited and happy, so I don't think the wedding has anything to do with the longevity of the marriage itself, no

wymondham

Thanks for all the replies... too true is nobody else's business what people spend their money on.. this just got me by surprise. We married in 1990 for £1,000, cousins to do the cake and the local town hall etc.... I do sometimes think people focus too much on the day (ie party) and not the marriage...  My Mum always told me if your girlfriend wouldn't marry you in a soggy field with a coke ring pull (remember those?!) as a ring then you probably shouldn't marry......

74jax

wymondham said:

Thanks for all the replies... too true is nobody else's business what people spend their money on.. this just got me by surprise. We married in 1990 for £1,000, cousins to do the cake and the local town hall etc.... I do sometimes think people focus too much on the day (ie party) and not the marriage...  My Mum always told me if your girlfriend wouldn't marry you in a soggy field with a coke ring pull (remember those?!) as a ring then you probably shouldn't marry......

I was given an ice cream cone as a ring and married in cafe by the beach (not field) so damn close to that scenario......, 😂 

pollypenny

And people wonder why they can't afford a house. 

Retireby40

wymondham said:

Thanks for all the replies... too true is nobody else's business what people spend their money on.. this just got me by surprise. We married in 1990 for £1,000, cousins to do the cake and the local town hall etc.... I do sometimes think people focus too much on the day (ie party) and not the marriage...  My Mum always told me if your girlfriend wouldn't marry you in a soggy field with a coke ring pull (remember those?!) as a ring then you probably shouldn't marry......

Unfortunately these days it's hard to meet a girl mid 20s early 30s who would accept that. If you haven't got a half decent career, and a few quid your options are severely limited.

Also no longer do the women now need a man for financial reasons. Women rightfully so are equal to men so things are completely different from 30-40 years ago.

Mrs_Ryan

Having been civil partnered quite recently I’m still around some of the bridal sites and it never fails to astound me some of the lengths that some couples go to. Some things I’m particularly bemused by are personalised tat (hangers especially! I mean-why?) Sweet carts, photo booths...bathroom baskets (baskets of stuff for the toilets that people help themselves to) flip flops! Some of those things cost horrendous amounts of money and I’m utterly bemused by it.
Mine and OH’s special day cost around about 4K. We were so lucky that it was out of season and our reception venue had a new events co-ordinator who was desperate to add to her portfolio so we got a cracking deal. Yes it wasn’t a castle but it was a lovely day and everyone had a lovely time. As we discovered weddings are not a cheap business- I’m lucky enough to know some very talented people (my brother in law is a graphic designer and part time photographer and he did the photos for free; he also sourced the cake topper from his work; my brother acted as DJ in the evening as he had his own sound system; my lovely beauty therapist did my make up for me and although yes I had to pay she came out of area on her day off for me) so I paid probably less than some there was a lot of little things that all added up.

Retireby40

What one decides to spend on their wedding really is up to them. It also depends very much on earnings too and social circles. 

In our lives we overspend on different things. Some want a £1000 phone when a £200 one does the same. Some drive a 30k car when a 10k one does the same. Some want a 20k wedding instead of a 2k sign a document and go to a community centre for a party.

All depends on your tastes and what you want.