Cripplng gambling debt, no idea where to make savings

Abandon

Oh and the £250 a month is stopping so I will have to seriously cut my budget. Already looking at just shopping at lidl etc. 

kazwookie

Grow up, your poor parents, and you are letting them possible remortgaging their house at their age, disgraceful. 

shoppingobsessed2020

Abandon said:

Thanks for everyone's support. 
I confessed all to my parents tonight. There were a lot of tears on all sides when I mentioned bankruptcy, I think my dad is ashamed at the thought of me dragging the family name through the papers . They are looking at partially remortgaging their house to give me a lump sum to pay off my debts, which I will then repay to them at the rate of £200 a month. They have a meeting with the bank on Friday to discuss it.

I have no intention of gambling again, at least not for a long time. 

I’m really sorry but this sounds a little off. How can they get an appointment so quickly with their bank when you confessed tonight? My bank won’t see anyone in person and I need to go in as our mortgage deal is ending but they won’t see anyone in person and we are having to do it all over the phone when the deal actually expires and not before.

Abandon

shoppingobsessed2020 said:

Abandon said:

Thanks for everyone's support. 
I confessed all to my parents tonight. There were a lot of tears on all sides when I mentioned bankruptcy, I think my dad is ashamed at the thought of me dragging the family name through the papers . They are looking at partially remortgaging their house to give me a lump sum to pay off my debts, which I will then repay to them at the rate of £200 a month. They have a meeting with the bank on Friday to discuss it.

I have no intention of gambling again, at least not for a long time. 

I’m really sorry but this sounds a little off. How can they get an appointment so quickly with their bank when you confessed tonight? My bank won’t see anyone in person and I need to go in as our mortgage deal is ending but they won’t see anyone in person and we are having to do it all over the phone when the deal actually expires and not before.

Sorry, I edited the original post to say call. They phoned the bank call centre tonight and apparently they have a call on Friday to discuss it. I don't know any more then that, it was after I'd spoken to them. They then called me back with a proposal.

shoppingobsessed2020

Thanks for clarifying.  That makes more sense.  Please though ban yourself from all gambling websites as the last comment about not gambling again at least not for a long time made me swear at the screen.  If your parents are willing and can afford to do this then please don’t break their hearts more.

zippygeorgeandben

I am really concerned by comments such as "I have no intention of gambling again, at least for the long term."
You need professional help here.  It's an addiction and only you can cure it.

[Deleted User]

Abandon said:

Thanks for everyone's support. 
I confessed all to my parents tonight. There were a lot of tears on all sides when I mentioned bankruptcy, I think my dad is ashamed at the thought of me dragging the family name through the papers . They are looking at partially remortgaging their house to give me a lump sum to pay off my debts, which I will then repay to them at the rate of £200 a month. They have a call with the bank on Friday to discuss it.

I have no intention of gambling again, at least not for a long time. 

Do not let your parents do this.  You are 37 years old, it's time to grow up and stand on your own two feet.  Tackle your debts and your gambling addiction by yourself.  If you allow your parents to go through with this you will be risking the roof over their head, you do understand this don't you?  To then make a comment such as, "I have no intention of gambling again, at least not for a long time," just shows that this spiral is doomed to continue except now you've dragged your parents into it.  A firm, thanks but no thanks, is what you need to be saying to them and with any luck the bank will say no to them anyway.

cymruchris

This has disaster written all over it. You shouldn't be looking for the easy way out, letting your parents take responsibility for your own debts. You should be dealing with it yourself. By taking the easy option, in no time - you're going to be back to gambling - and you're eating away at their house by doing so. How do they intend to pay the mortgage? Are they retired? 

You need to:

1. Get help for your addiction
2. Stop gambling forever - starting NOW
3. Sort out your own financial issues - even if that means bankruptcy.

You're not going to be front page news on the local paper - it's likely that nobody will even know you've gone through a bankruptcy unless you choose to tell them. I would never rely on my parents if I'd gotten myself into a mess like this. When I went through my own bankruptcy (linked to business collapse) I took responsibility and dealt with it. My parents had the finance to support me - but there was no way I would have gone to them for money. I created the mess - I cleaned it up. You should stop them from risking their home, and managing the problem yourself. It sounds harsh - but that's the reality. Don't let them risk their house, or make them live a life of poverty because of your actions!

onwards&upwards

Please please don't let your parents do this.  You obviously have kind, loving parents, and I know you must feel desperate for their help, but this would be seriously taking advantage of them, and if you don't get on top of the gambling and run up all that debt again then it will have been for absolutely nothing anyway!

You need to deal with the gambling before anything else, please look at the advice on here about the services that are available to you:  https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/gambling-addiction/

Hopefully your parents' mortgage lender won't let them borrow for this reason, and they absolutely mustn't lie and say it's for home improvements or anything else as that would be mortgage fraud and they'd be committing a criminal offence. 

Grumpelstiltskin

I hope the lender will refuse your parents plan to remortgage.


Oh and by the way bankruptcies are no longer listed in local newspapers and haven't been for some years.

As I said some days ago grow up and sort your own problems out don't bleed your parents dry.