Cripplng gambling debt, no idea where to make savings

Brenster

Hi,
This thread is a very frustrating read, you acknowledge that gambling is the route cause of your debt, however you seem to believe it is the answer to you getting out of debt.  This is a clear sign that the addiction has a hold of you and you are not thinking logically.  In fact, if you really think about it, your plan is absolute madness, especially as you seem to convinced yourself ' whats another £3/4k'.  You really need to take your head out of the sand and plan your way forward carefully (i think you will need some professional assistance with this).
Another thing i have noticed is that you say you gambled £500 / month previously and reduced now to £100 / month, however you have also said you have recently made alot of 4 figure transactions (this is thousands not hundreds!), so this tells me you are lying about your gambling expenditure, and i would assume you have only reduced your gambling, out of force due to no money, rather than out of choice.  
I apologise if my comments are a bit direct, however you are on the road to ruin and need to give your head a wobble.

monetxchange

onwards&upwards said:

Abandon said:

onwards&upwards said:

Abandon said:

soolin said:

Abandon said:

annabanana82 said:

Sounds to me the best thing you could do is own up to your parents, tell them to stop the £250 a month as it's much more useful and needed in their pocket than yours. Then you'll have no choice but to action the other problem you have.
And there are loads of free games available to occupy your time rather than gambling, but I'm sure there are far more productive ways of spending your time that will help give you a sense of purpose

I've a horrible feeling you are right. I've been self reflecting a lot since I opened this thread. I am going to bring it up tonight. 
I am not including the grandparent loan if I go bankrupt, that have to be paid in full!! 

I’m not sure what you mean by this. If you go bankrupt all your debts are treated equally, you don’t get to chose to pay one back at the detriment of the others. 

Surely a family loan doesn't need to be included in a bankruptcy? Whatever happens, my grandparents WILL be repaid in full. 

Ok, then you can’t use bankruptcy, that won’t allow you to repay them. 

What if I paid it back after I was discharged? Surely that's the solution? I don't want to break any laws through, but there is no contracts or anything. 

Are they happy to wait with no payments at all until then? 

Also, not meaning to upset you, but you could have many many years of the bankruptcy ahead. I'm the same age as you - my parents are in their 60s/70s, grandparents are all long gone so I'm assuming yours are not young either. Would they ever see the money in their lifetimes done that way?

Abandon

monetxchange said:

onwards&upwards said:

Abandon said:

onwards&upwards said:

Abandon said:

soolin said:

Abandon said:

annabanana82 said:

Sounds to me the best thing you could do is own up to your parents, tell them to stop the £250 a month as it's much more useful and needed in their pocket than yours. Then you'll have no choice but to action the other problem you have.
And there are loads of free games available to occupy your time rather than gambling, but I'm sure there are far more productive ways of spending your time that will help give you a sense of purpose

I've a horrible feeling you are right. I've been self reflecting a lot since I opened this thread. I am going to bring it up tonight. 
I am not including the grandparent loan if I go bankrupt, that have to be paid in full!! 

I’m not sure what you mean by this. If you go bankrupt all your debts are treated equally, you don’t get to chose to pay one back at the detriment of the others. 

Surely a family loan doesn't need to be included in a bankruptcy? Whatever happens, my grandparents WILL be repaid in full. 

Ok, then you can’t use bankruptcy, that won’t allow you to repay them. 

What if I paid it back after I was discharged? Surely that's the solution? I don't want to break any laws through, but there is no contracts or anything. 

Are they happy to wait with no payments at all until then? 

Also, not meaning to upset you, but you could have many many years of the bankruptcy ahead. I'm the same age as you - my parents are in their 60s/70s, grandparents are all long gone so I'm assuming yours are not young either. Would they ever see the money in their lifetimes done that way?

How do you mean many years of bankruptcy? I thought it was a year (I won't take a further loan if there is any risk of the receiver seeing it negatively) 

nonsensefactory

Is there a possibility of moving back to you mum and dads or if not, move into shared accommodation/rent a room to cut down on rent cost and most utility bills ?

John_

Abandon said:

John_ said:

Abandon said:

Deleted_User said:

So if you take out one last loan before bankruptcy to have another bet where *this* time you know you are sure to win (like all the other times), what then happens with the winnings?

Until a time you kick the gambling addiction and wake up you are a lost course. All you will do is rack up the gambling debt again.

That's unfair. The only reason I gamble is to try and win back my losses. If the government writes then all off in a bankruptcy /default then I won't gamble again. I promise. 

I should have read further before posting sorry, I’d have knocked off any jobs that require intelligence or common sense, and saved us both a bit of time.

You are losing, consistently, month after month, and so you know that this is what happens when you gamble. You can’t win your losses back, that money is gone, all you can choose to do is to stop throwing away your poor parents’ hard-earned money, or to continue.
Would it help if you took them out to a nice car showroom, kitchen fitter’s or travel agency, and showed them what a lovely treat they could have had if you weren’t gambling their money away?

Is that a serious suggestion?!?!?
My parents give me money, what I do with it is nothing to do with them,ok.

You wouldn’t need to take it off them if you were not throwing it away on gambling.

You don’t seem to realise yet how serious is your need to change, your addiction is literally taking the money that your parents worked so hard to earn, if you can stop gambling you can leave that money for them to enjoy.

As it’s not an issue where it’s going, have you explained it to them, or are you actually telling them that money’s a bit tight but keeping quiet about the reason behind it?

John_

Abandon said:

annabanana82 said:

Sounds to me the best thing you could do is own up to your parents, tell them to stop the £250 a month as it's much more useful and needed in their pocket than yours. Then you'll have no choice but to action the other problem you have.
And there are loads of free games available to occupy your time rather than gambling, but I'm sure there are far more productive ways of spending your time that will help give you a sense of purpose

I've a horrible feeling you are right. I've been self reflecting a lot since I opened this thread. I am going to bring it up tonight. 
I am not including the grandparent loan if I go bankrupt, that have to be paid in full!! 

You are not allowed to do that, you need to include all of your debts, and pay them back in proportion.

LadyGnome

I know it is hard to think logically when you are stuck in the pit looking for the quick solution. Just think about this for a minute: why is it that punters go bust but bookies rarely do? The averages are never in your favour otherwise there would be no profitable bookies.  The big name bookies rake in millions from people like you who are chasing a dream. 

You need to stop looking after the bookies are start looking after yourself.  You are paying the bonus of the CEO of [your favourite bookmaker/casino/poker site] out of your payday loans. Do you think they are lying awake at night worrying how they can pay the bills out of thin air!

cymruchris

How do you mean many years of bankruptcy? I thought it was a year (I won't take a further loan if there is any risk of the receiver seeing it negatively) 

it's a year if your bankruptcy falls under normal conditions - but if it's believed that reckless behaviour has caused you to get yourself into the position of requiring bankruptcy, then a BRO can be given for a period of upto 15 years. That's a long time without a mortgage, credit card or loan. If you're 37 now, you'd be 52 by the time the order is lifted. You really want to risk having to wait that long before beginning a normal life again?

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/bankruptcy-restrictions-orders-and-undertakings/bankruptcy-restrictions-orders-and-undertakings

monetxchange

cymruchris said:

How do you mean many years of bankruptcy? I thought it was a year (I won't take a further loan if there is any risk of the receiver seeing it negatively) 

it's a year if your bankruptcy falls under normal conditions - but if it's believed that reckless behaviour has caused you to get yourself into the position of requiring bankruptcy, then a BRO can be given for a period of upto 15 years. That's a long time without a mortgage, credit card or loan. If you're 37 now, you'd be 52 by the time the order is lifted. You really want to risk having to wait that long before beginning a normal life again?

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/bankruptcy-restrictions-orders-and-undertakings/bankruptcy-restrictions-orders-and-undertakings

Excellent advice here. You seem to be thinking that you'll do one year of bankruptcy, everything will be cleared for you and you can pay off your grandparents (with what?) and then go back to spending as normal. Your credit will be trashed for a long time and you will have to learn to live in what you earn and not spend on frivolities on credit, either from lenders or your family. If you don't make a change to your spending attitude after bankruptcy, you'll end up in exactly the same position in a couple of years. You can't just keep doing the same cycle and expecting to be bailed out time and time again. This is the perfect opportunity to get yourself sorted for the future.

Abandon

Thanks for everyone's support. 
I confessed all to my parents tonight. There were a lot of tears on all sides when I mentioned bankruptcy, I think my dad is ashamed at the thought of me dragging the family name through the papers . They are looking at partially remortgaging their house to give me a lump sum to pay off my debts, which I will then repay to them at the rate of £200 a month. They have a call with the bank on Friday to discuss it.

I have no intention of gambling again, at least not for a long time.