Crunchy pays off the loan early, and other stories

crunchy_time

Morning all!
Food shop yesterday was about £80 so I have slushed £20 into the food buffer - as well as explained it to husband.  The next food shop day will be Saturday and then I am going to start doing it on Thursday nights after work as I work near a Sains and then we don't have to do it at the weekend and I won't have kids in tow.
I've had to order DS a new coat and new school trainers as he has trashed his shoes as well as had a huge growth spurt - his coat no longer goes around his school fleece.  He is 8 and a half now and seems to be growing at a massive rate.  His Dad is 6 ft 6 so he is going to be tall with long legs.
Our bedroom is looking good!  Just one more wall to paint and then the skirting boards and window sill and door frames with the wood paint to go.  All Christmas decorations have now been put away.  The tree has been up since the 22nd November so I didn't feel bad about taking it down at all - I'm enjoying the extra space in the living room now!  I managed to clear out a load of rubbish from the study yesterday.  Just got to sort through and file the bills now.  We have loads of recycling to put out when the day eventually comes around.
All this time alone and not socialising has meant I am overthinking my career again.  I have spoken before about how I have moved from being a part time teacher at the beginning of the year to a support person in a secondary school.  It's a job that I love and fits in around my kids but I know I am capable of so much more.  I don't want to jump to anything else too soon but thought that one way to use all this time was to study towards the next step.... but I'm not sure what the next step is.  Being an educational psychologist would be a wonderful career but it would involve another 5 years of study for me including a phd and I know I can't do that and have small children and work full time, there are just not enough hours in the day.  Regardless of my long term options, in the short term I have to think about the children and child care.  I have one child in Year 4 and one in year 1.  The before and after school club used to be open, before covid, from 7.30am and provide care until 6pm (albeit, in a cold school hall).  Since september, they have reopened it but only from 8am and it shuts at 5pm.  I cannot see it opening at the longer hours again as there is just not the demand since lots of people work from home now.  After this year I have another 5 years of having a child at primary school.  It should be easier for me to be able to commute to something with longer working hours then.  I also keep looking at local teaching jobs for fun and to see how I feel but I end up feeling stressed just thinking about it.  From this time last year, my salary is down about £300 a month but husband's pay rise has made up for that so we are no better off or worse off and I am waaaaay less stressed.  I am going to stop thinking about it.  The option for doing post grad study is there and I will take it up in the future.  In the meantime, I am going to feel grateful that I have a job, have a job that I love that enables me to have time with my kids and the holidays off that I can scope out myself and can launch me into new possibilities in the future.  Next year I am going to focus on health - my own physical and mental, and financial health as well.  And spending time with my kids whilst they are still small as time goes quickly and they will be big before I know it!
Today's must do tasks are to work on DD's cardboard barbie dream house and list the furniture for sale on gumtree.
Have a great day everyone!
Crunchy xx

Honeysucklelou2

Teaching is fantastic but does have a tendency to take over one’s thinking, even if part time. Yesterday I spent 4 hours doing planning for next term and am still not ready for the next term which then causes guilt that I haven’t spent those hours with my little ones. You are right, they are only little once. 

enthusiasticsaver

I think you have to make your peace with sacrificing your career for your family.  I did the same as I was in a highly paid, very competitive job in finance before having children but no way could I return to that after having children when my husband had a job with erratic hours and lots of travel.  He did not want to be a SAHD and most  men didn't in the 80s and to be fair I wasn't keen on being  a SAHM either so I compromised and did what you did.  Lower stress and part time and a career change when they were in secondary. Yes less money but way better for a work life balance. You can always rethink when they are older but from my experience as they get older it is harder to put personal ambition at the forefront as they still need you and there is only so much energy to go round.  Some people manage it though. 

ohdearhowdidthathappen

If you've found a balance that you can manage and enjoy, I'd definitely stick with that.  My youngest 2 children are in years 1 and 4 like yours... my older 3 are in years 7, 10 and 12.  Even if I only had the older ones, I'd struggle to work more than the 3 days a week I do now. 
They need you in different ways and having a 'present' parent is invaluable in the teen years.  Very few of my friends work more than part time even with secondary school kids for similar reasons.  A couple work full time, but still find the school holidays tricky to manage and keeping their teens out of mischief while they are at work.  Those with school hour jobs seem to balance life the best from what I've seen.
I've managed to study and keep in a professional role over the years, but the juggling is never easy.
Educational psychology sounds like an interesting career and it's nice to have plans for the future

crunchy_time

Honeysucklelou2 said:

Teaching is fantastic but does have a tendency to take over one’s thinking, even if part time. Yesterday I spent 4 hours doing planning for next term and am still not ready for the next term which then causes guilt that I haven’t spent those hours with my little ones. You are right, they are only little once. 

OMG this is EXACTLY how I felt every holiday when I was teaching.  I would try and do all the planning in the evenings but I would rush bedtime so that I could get on with it as soon as possible so I wouldn't be so tired.  I never felt ready for any term.  I loved certain aspects of it but I hated how I had no authority over my own workload.  I got smarted at planning but it was the extra tasks that I couldn't see the point of that were such an issue for me.  

crunchy_time

enthusiasticsaver said:

I think you have to make your peace with sacrificing your career for your family.  I did the same as I was in a highly paid, very competitive job in finance before having children but no way could I return to that after having children when my husband had a job with erratic hours and lots of travel.  He did not want to be a SAHD and most  men didn't in the 80s and to be fair I wasn't keen on being  a SAHM either so I compromised and did what you did.  Lower stress and part time and a career change when they were in secondary. Yes less money but way better for a work life balance. You can always rethink when they are older but from my experience as they get older it is harder to put personal ambition at the forefront as they still need you and there is only so much energy to go round.  Some people manage it though. 

Good to know what is coming up ES.  I thought them both being in school would be easier - it is and it isn't of course.  The next stage is always the one that will be 'easier.'  You're right.  I need to find myself again before deciding what next.

crunchy_time

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

If you've found a balance that you can manage and enjoy, I'd definitely stick with that.  My youngest 2 children are in years 1 and 4 like yours... my older 3 are in years 7, 10 and 12.  Even if I only had the older ones, I'd struggle to work more than the 3 days a week I do now. 
They need you in different ways and having a 'present' parent is invaluable in the teen years.  Very few of my friends work more than part time even with secondary school kids for similar reasons.  A couple work full time, but still find the school holidays tricky to manage and keeping their teens out of mischief while they are at work.  Those with school hour jobs seem to balance life the best from what I've seen.
I've managed to study and keep in a professional role over the years, but the juggling is never easy.
Educational psychology sounds like an interesting career and it's nice to have plans for the future

That is good insight as well - thank you!  I really want to be a good parent during the teen years...and now.  The sweet spot will be when they are 18 and have more independence which for us is 12 years time. I feel right now that if I wanted to do a Masters or a Phd then I could.  But I also know I need to be realistic.  I want to achieve goals that I set for myself and I want to do good in the world.  Perhaps I need a project or a cause to work behind as goals and doing good doesn't have to be about work and career.  I'm going to take care of my health in 2021 and set some pretty challenging goals for the first quarter which will turn into habits, I hope.  And I also need to re-discover my values.  I'm feeling pretty inspired at the moment so going to write down all my ideas to have a think on in the next few months.  Goals have been about money for a long time and they don't always need to be.

crunchy_time

Evening diaryland!
Just done about of juggling of money in husbands bank accounts.  He decided he wanted to use some of his bonus to replace our 7 year old TV.  We have also bought some new crockery to replace our old chipped mismatched stuff and bought some new wine glasses since ours are mostly smashed.  In addition to this, I am pleased to report that after several months of dithering, we have finally bought a new wardrobe for us!  We also topped up our holiday pot for next year.  Despite paying a large amount into it per month, I had to find about £575 before May from extra money to make up the right amount.  Now it is at the right balance to pay.
This is of course if we are able to go.  I am being realistic and husband is very optimistic.  It's a special holiday for our special birthdays and I don't want to go if the experience won't be the same as it really is a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Who knows what will happen by then but I am going to keep saving.  Worst case scenario is we can't go next year but could postpone until 2022 and go somewhere that we can if we can.  We have paid a £1000 deposit with the company.  We shall see where we are at in April and make a plan then.
I have also started costing up the big garden projects for next year>>>
1) Shed - to replace the cheap nasty metal one we can't lock without a struggle and can't nail hooks in so can't store as much stuff in - c£2k for a better wood one.
2) Fence - £700 ish
3) Pergola - £1000 - quote from 2 years ago from someone to make it for us.  I have since found out you can buy them off the peg so to speak for much cheaper - but not sure if we are brave enough to fit it ourselves.
This gives us some ideas.  First port of call though is painting the house which I think will cost about £3k.  We have about £3300 in savings but the car service is due the week after next and will cost £370 and this money covers car stuff as well.  In order to keep £1k emergency fund we will need to save £1000 before we even think about paying for house painting.  I would like to save more.  From projected things we are over budgeting for, I should be able to save about £1500 ish by end of April which is when it is likely the weather would enable it to be done.
So I am going to deviate away from overpaying the loans for a few months and slush every spare penny into the house fund and see where we get to.  What is left from my husband's bonus is £172 so we shall start with that.  I have amended my signature to reflect this.  Let's see how much money we can save by the end of April!
Crunchy xx

crunchy_time

Morning all!
Glad that my kids are definitely back at school on Monday as they are primary. I work in secondary so waiting to hear from boss about what’s happening next week - are staff coming in or not or are we working from home. 

Since I’ve had kids I think we have only been out once on nye. Tonight’s plans are the same as always. Two bottles of Prosecco and pizza, a film and then in bed by 10am. Rock and roll. 

Despite the sh*t show that was 2020 I am grateful for it in many ways. It has taught me to slow down and appreciate what I have. 

Happy New Year everyone! 

Crunchy xx

t2rry

Hey @crunch_time, I love your forward planning, so good to know what big projects you have to save for and get done. Just a note on the pergola, we put one up this year. It cost less than £600 for all the materials (4 wooden posts, 10 roof slats, concrete base mix...) we bought some sleepers at the same time and some concrete boards for the deck underneath, so I’m not sure exactly how much just the pergola part cost on its own but obviously less than £600!. I kind of don’t even understand the kits, are they not just all the pieces of wood that you’d buy anyway!? It really wasn’t too difficult a job between the two of us, and that’s with neither of us being experienced really at all with garden DIY!  Just thought that might be helpful, the hardest part was figuring out all the sizes we needed but we kept to standard sizes to make life a little easier and I looked at a LOT of others online to see what other people had used!