Broody Boyfriend!

penguin83

I had my daughter at 19 and whilst I wouldnt change her for the world, I would strongly advise against having a baby so young.

It changes your life in so many ways you cant even imagine.

Enjoy these times with your OH and live a little first.

Hope all goes well for you whatever you decide x x x

Tish_P

Foreversomeday, I think everyone here is talking a lot of sense. Also, whether he means it or not, your boyfriend is being unfair in pressurising you like this - especially if he is starting to object to your taking the Pill. (Have you thought of trying contraceptive injections or implants?)

Everyone's mentioned how young you are but even your boyfriend is only 23 and it sounds like you are by far the more mature person in your relationship! Tell him to calm down! You have at least twenty potential childbearing years ahead of you! 10 months, even 10 intense months, is a very short time and if he can't deal with waiting a few years he certainly won't be able to deal with the frustrations of parenthood.

scrimpingbadger

Crikey at 19 I could barely look after myself never mind a little person.

Listen - and listen well - I'm a mum and love my boy with all my heart - but the minute you get pregnant your life CHANGES FOREVER. My husband is brilliant in every way but when you're a mum you are always on duty and I mean ALWAYS. Every minute of every day your child's needs usually come first. OK now and again you may get some time 'off' but it's rare. When you have a child there's no more popping down to the shops, eating what you fancy when you fancy it, going out for a quick pint - no can do, as there's a little person who needs nutrition, sleep and clean clothes to wear.

Being a parent does not require any qualifications but doing it properly you'll need steely determination, the stamina of a marathon runner and plenty of cash. It's easy to be a rubbish parent but doing it properly is a lifelong task of endurance.

Yeah babies are cute but you will sacrifice some of your youth to have one. Wait till you've seen a bit of life, stretched your wings. You acknowledge it would be hard work but, trust me, a little baby is a bit a like an atom bomb going off in your relationship.

A baby is born innocently and deserves the very best you can give it.

I think you sound very mature generally but unless you are VERY VERY SURE don't even go there. It's not a lot of fun in a small flat with no money wearing baby puke and partner who's !!!!!!ed off 'cos it's 'too hard'.

Good luck

poppycracker

Thankyou scrimpingbadger! I was feeling absolutely horrible a little while ago because I have the opposite problem to the OP, I'M feeling horribly broody and my OH won't even consider kids. Then I read your post and realised exactly how daft I am, we could never afford a child. Thankyou for the wake up sock in the mouth!

vixarooni

poppycracker wrote: »

Thankyou scrimpingbadger! I was feeling absolutely horrible a little while ago because I have the opposite problem to the OP, I'M feeling horribly broody and my OH won't even consider kids. Then I read your post and realised exactly how daft I am, we could never afford a child. Thankyou for the wake up sock in the mouth!

who can afford a child though?

Cerenia

I would say its too soon - If there's ever ANY doubt, I always tell people to say no. I'm 20 myself, and although I would love to have kids in the future, I feel i'm not ready - some people are, i'm not one of them.

From your post, you've got doubts - and that tells me straight away, say NO. If he loves you, he'll wait until YOU'RE ready (after all, you'll be carrying it!). 19 is a very young age for children, and as mothers have said here, very life changing. Live your life now, and when you're ready, you'll be fully dedicated to the idea for yourself, not because he wants to I always think older parents are better anyway, more knowledge and maturity. But my mum was 21 when she had me, dad 27, and they brought me up fantastically, dispite me driving them around the bend with being ADHD and generally, an awful baby XD

caseystar

I agree with the borrowing the baby idea! Offer to babysit for the weekend, im sure the parents would be gratefull lol. He'll soon see exactly how hard it is and hopefully change his mind.
Enjoy life a little first once baby comes along it's a demanding, thankless 24/7 job. You both should be 100% settled on the idea before going ahead.
Good Luck x

DKLS

I never realised that men could get broody, its a new one on me, as whenever I see a baby, I only see the negatives, poo, puke, no sleep, little money, hassle, grief, no time, responsibility etc.

Dont you fancy having a bit of life before kids, you are free to do what you want at the moment, why rush into a life long commitment.

Strapped

I agree with all the advice given. Too soon, too young!

Sympahise with the pressure though. Hubby is broody for #3 and I'm not too sure I ever want to go through it again! :eek:

li'l_p

Is anyone watching the new House of Tiny Tearaways?

You only have to look at the couple who are both 17 years old, to see how having a baby at such a young age can go *wrong* (...for want of a better word, sorry!). The lad just kept having strops of his own and kept walking off when he was quizzed about his own behaviour and attitude, and even then the pair of them and another young mum had to be taught how to play with their kids!

I'd suggest you live your life a little and you will know when the time and circumstances are really right for you.