Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my friend to stay with her?

Newly_retired

£150 for two nights in a quality holiday cottage is not unreasonable, but was it clear this was part of the arrangement on the invitation? If you would be expected to share the cottage with other guests ( strangers?) and get your own breakfast, then it is certainly not reasonable for you to pay at all. It all depends on the actual arrangement. If the friend is asking for the money after you accepted the invitation, then I would tell her you can’t go. Perhaps she is desperate to mitigate her losses from recent cancellations? Personally I would not be going at all in the current situation. Maybe she will have the grace to cancel the event.

mustiuc

Many answers to a nonsense question and "friendship".
I would send her a postcard with £150 inside and write on it "enjoy your following birthdays without me".
If I wont have the money, I will sent it anyway with a sneeze inside it. 
This is not a "friendship of 30yrs" and they can afford the costs as living in a "large house". I would anytime pay the flights/tickets for my friends to visit me in UK (especially bdays) if they would struggle. I visited once a friend working on a cruise ship and boarding in Southampton last summer; drove to him after a night shift for 2.5hrs to see him 1hr. After went back home, sleept 3 hrs and at 8pm I was back at work. It's all about principles and values, not ripping off "friends" and abandoning them when they struggle. 

Frogletina

PeterPan1952 said:

Is there a Premier Inn (or similar) nearby?  Say, "Thanks for the invitation; I'd love to come, but I am afraid that money is a bit tight, so I've booked in at <name of budget hotel>"

Or tell her you'll come in a campervan, like Alan Bennett's 'lady in the van'...

crmism

Some friend! In your shoes, I'd politely decline the generous offer and explain I'm washing my hair that weekend.

omendata

MSE_Sarah said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

A school friend of 30 years has moved a three-hour drive away, to a large country house with holiday cottages. For her 40th birthday I've been asked to pay £150 to stay there for the weekend, but it seems wrong to have to pay my friend.

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Shameful - She is no friend!
At least you know now so ditch the beaaaatch!