Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my friend to stay with her?

pickledonionspaceraider

From the tiny bit of info given here - I would say no, it is no fair to expect you to pay.
I mean to cover basic costs like your own food, fair enough, but she will be making a profit here?  Seems a mickey take.

Seokl

You say 'it seems wrong to have to pay my friend', which implies your gut feeling is that she is being disingenuous. Trust your gut - - and if this behavior is uncharacteristic and you value her friendship enough, tell her your feelings. 

REJP

If the £150 includes cost of room and meals laundry of bedding and towels etc, then it depends on if you can find  cheaper lodging nearby.  Also depends on how friendly you are.  Personally I wonder how many rooms and friends she has, and the cynical side of me asks she in business, and using friends to make up losses due to cancellations because of self isolating in the current crisis.
Personally I would not put myself and others at risk of catching Coronavirus and paying £150 plus travel expenses in this so called dilemma.  Follow Government advice and keep away from groups in this case.  You know there will be lots of kissing on cheeks etc from people you have not seen for years given you live so far away.
Send a card or email.  If a card, don't lick the envelope, seal with sticky tape so you don't spread the virus.  Avoid groups as  matter of self preservation and don't risk infecting other people.
Keep safe, you know it makes sense.

Bellisima

I’ve been to birthday parties where hotel rooms were available if people wanted to stay overnight and guests paid for their own rooms.  This is a bit different as it’s a long term friend.  I wouldn’t expect friends to pay to stay there.  We have a small flat in Italy and we never charge anyone to stay there.  We only let close family and friends use it.

Bellster

Whichever route you choose, don't lie to her.  If she's a good friend you can talk about it and both share your views without thinking bad of the other person and risking damaging your friendship.  If she's not a good friend then it's a good opportunity to let her drift away.

shoreditch_saver

It's an outrageous request.  The friend should have blocked out the accommodation and allowed guests to stay. What is it with people who throw a party and then require you to pay for the pleasure.  Travel, accommodation,  gifts and drinks etc. That's not a party but simply an event they have organised.  If they can't afford to throw a party don't have one or keep it small. 

PasturesNew

£50-60 to cover the cost of commercial laundry/cleaning max.  
£150 is paying full whack. 

Not a chance as I could choose my own weekend holiday location at that rate... without having to "be nice" to anybody else and having to be pained by shopping for a gift, card, paper.... 

shoreditch_saver

RobSurreyUK said:

Depends what you are actually paying for.... Is this really £150 as a "nightly rate" like an AirBnB or something? Or is it really a food and drinks contribution.
Seems entirely possible and within the realm of possibility that its really a food + drink contribution 

If it is a food and drink ' contribution' then ITS NOT A PARTY! It is an event. Parties should be free. Sick of this modern meanness. 

Celia123

I know when a friend had her 50th she hired a large house for the weekend on the understanding that we would all contribute, unfortunately the contribution was then expanded to include all food and drink. When I explained that I could no longer afford to come, as I had to include rail travel on top, it did cause bad feeling but its better to be upfront about this.
For my 40th I hired a (small) YHA hostel and charged people for their bed or room but I felt it was up to me to pay for the birthday meal and drink as they were travelling to me for my party

John_Gray

In present times, I think MSE should abandon these so-called Money Moral Dilemmas. 

Have we all not got far more important things to concern us?