Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my friend to stay with her?

pjran

No. 

A true friend would not ask.

PurpleGoldFish

A lot of ‘make a excuse’ comments. I’d say be honest. Tell her why you can’t come. The cost. And, of course wish her a happy birthday. 

Takmon

John_Gray said:

In present times, I think MSE should abandon these so-called Money Moral Dilemmas. 

Have we all not got far more important things to concern us?

You can't be serious? When people are panicking and worrying about something en mass then having things carry on as normal as possible is extra important. The more things that are cancelled and changed just increases the perceived impact and therefore increases the panic and worry. 

androidgamer

seems strange to invite someone, but then charge them. i suppose they would expect a gift too. wherever this new place is surely a B&B would be cheaper and you get the perks of being waited on
if this is to stay in a nearby home, why would you invite people to a party 30 miles away and they have to pay a minimum of £150 (travel, food, drink, gift, room) . i suspect the long distance friend is wanting to show off her new digs, but hasn't considered that £150 isn't what some people can spare plus extras. 

blokes are more direct and would laugh at the thought and suggest something like a holiday

h3eather

It depends on the wording of the invitation. Also on how close a friend are you, I know you have know each other 30 years but that does not make you especially close.
Did they ask you to come and stay for the weekend to celebrate her birthday. or were your invited to a party and told accommodation was available at £150.  

DezMiller

Your 'friend' is either hard-up or greedy. I'd base my response on which of these is the case. Respectively yay or nay

[Deleted User]

matty220 said:

If you’re staying in one of the holiday cottages then she’ll have the cost of cleaning, laundry etc to get that ready for future guests so maybe a contribution is not unreasonable but I think £150 is a lot. I had this dilemma when I ran a b&b with my sister. People (friends) would come and stay in the guest rooms, not paying and not realising the cost of cleaning plus lost revenue. Its difficult 🤔

Did you invite these people to come and stay or did they ask you if they could come and stay?  That makes a difference in my view.  If you invite someone to come and stay with you and then try to charge them for the privilege that seems rather mean even if you do run a B&B or holiday cottages as seems to be the case with the MMD.  If on the other hand people ask to stay with you in one of your B&B rooms, especially during a peak season, then I think it's only fair they pay.  I wouldn't expect an accountant friend to do my business accounts for free nor would I expect a mechanic friend to fix my car for free, same goes for those running a holiday letting business.

PeterPan1952

Is there a Premier Inn (or similar) nearby?  Say, "Thanks for the invitation; I'd love to come, but I am afraid that money is a bit tight, so I've booked in at <name of budget hotel>"

JayD

Given the current situation re Coronavirus, I don't think it is wise to be travelling anywhere - and certainly not to attend a social gathering. So your dilemma has become academic. Don't go.

Fireflyaway

I don't think a proper friend would ask you to pay, that's weird. As others say, you now have the perfect excuse not to go anyway!