Money Moral Dilemma: Should I keep the cash from selling the contents of our deceased dad's home?

Newly_retired

Just thought I would add my personal experience of clearing my parents’ house some years ago.
Lots of work involved,  shared between whichever family members were free to help. Only my sister and I were residual beneficiaries, after small bequests to the adult grandchildren. My sister lived in a care home so was not able to help, nor did she have room for many items she might have liked, so I had the majority of sentimental items, of no real value if they had been sold. We did sell a few items of value, and the proceeds went into the estate accounts. We took items to charity shops. We hired three skips for the junk we cleared from the shed and loft, and a house clearance firm asked us to pay for another one for the furniture. This came out of the estate account. They cleared the rest and would have charged a fee, but it was offset by the value of the items they expected to sell in their junk shop. They left the house totally empty and basically clean. Well worth it, and I should add that
fortunately we had no squabbles  within the family.

chrisonly

Tell sibling- if he wants to pay half of clearance costs (not cheap) out of HIS share of estate, then so be it,- but get it in writing, and forward to silicitors. We picked through Mums house, "valuables" went for £90 at car boot, less £10 vendors fee.  House clearance company charged £1500 plus vat., They were the winners in this sad tale. Speak to solicitor regarding sentimental keepsakes, your sibling obviously cares nothing of contents.

KATEANDMARK

When my father died I contacted the other beneficiary and asked them what if anything they wanted from the house. I tried to give away as much as possible by free cycle but I did sell some things. I produced a spreadsheet of all the income and expenditure from administering the estate. I included costs of postage, travel to the house, gardening, post, telephone calls, as well as other direct costs then added the income from sales of items. If I sold at a car boot sale I included the site fee and petrol. If the other person is having goods from the house they can also be itemised and a value apportioned to them

lancsgran

As someone with thirty years experience of bereavement support, I urge you to do all you can to maintain a good relationship with your sibling.  Ultimately, it is worth much more than any material things and would certainly be what your parent would want.  Everyone feels very sensitive at this time and it is all too easy to say or do something hurtful, even unintentionally.  I hope things work out for you.

fred246

We sold everything via eBay. It takes absolutely hours. First you have to identify what you've got. Then you have to take good photos and write a good description. You then have to answer questions. If someone clicks on buy it now you have to go to the post office within a few hours. You then have to do whatever is needed to maintain 100% positive feedback. We would carefully disassemble furniture and rebuild it in someone's house. Very rewarding. Nice to know someone will use something that could have gone to landfill. How much per hour is that labour worth? I really don't think the sibling that does nothing can expect half of the selling price.

Lord_Claus

Personally I say, as your sibling is clearly not interested in the house contents, then flog it or keep it as you see fit. Any money you make is yours to help with bills and after that it's in your pocket. Really its down to you.

jackbracken

In principle I think it would be the correct and moral behaviour to divide anything gained. Practically, if the sibling wants everything 'dumped' then they shouldn't be bothered about anything left,  financial or otherwise. By the way, would the sibling be prepared to share the cost of the removal?

msg4geoff

To my own cost through experience wills and probate can become a nasty minefield if there is disagree ment amongst beneficiaries. In this  particular case the sibling has already made it clear they want nothing from the contents and would rather pay to just dump it all. So I suggest this be formalised.  As you express interest in sorting through contents (I never had that opportunity fully given to me so I know it hurts emotionally) my suggestion is that you simply discuss the issue then write a statement which you both then sign making it an agreement witnessed by a person of the same standing as for passports, or even better a solicitor. State your being responsible for the contents removal as you wish to take up right as a beneficiary to do so. These chattels status need to be defined within as seperate from the total estate value which your sibling disowns any claim against now and in the future for you to solely keep an proceeds yourself, or if a percentage is expected by them detail that! Include from which part of the estate any subsequent removal costs are to be taken from. The will will name an executor and by rights it that person(s) who has authority to distribute the estate as they see fit and neutrally in accordance with the will so they should be involved in this 'agreement' and it's execution. I hope that helps.

pixiebel81

fred246 said:

If someone clicks on buy it now you have to go to the post office within a few hours. 

Since when? You set your despatch times when listing the item, then post within that timeframe (I think I shears had mine set to 3 working days).

Keswood

I imagine any proceeds from the sale of your fathers house would/should be added to the 'estate'. The executor dealing with your fathers will (estate) should ideally add any monies from the sale of his belongings (chattels etc) to the rest of whatever he left so this can be divided up as per his wishes. If you are the executor then you are allowed to claim expenses. I would take advice on the amount but you can claim for your time dealing with cleaning etcetera. I did exactly the same when my father passed away in 2018. I cleared the entire house and dealt with funeral and all his financial bits and bobs. I claimed expenses.