Money Moral Dilemma: Should I keep the cash from selling the contents of our deceased dad's home?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My father recently passed away and his house needs to be cleared so it can be sold. My sibling, who rarely visits, wants us to pay a company to dump everything. I regularly cared for my father, and want to sort through his home for what's worth saving or selling. Friends say I should keep any proceeds for myself, but should I split it with my sibling?

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[Deleted User]

What does the will say about the distribution of assets?

If it says whoever sells his stuff first gets the cash, then its fine.  But that's not a very common clause.

SevenOfNine

It is all part of the estate, just because you feel you can clear the house more economically yourself & make some money by selling things, doesn't make it right that you get to keep the proceeds.  Though I can understand why anyone might feel that way, is the key in the words "I regularly cared for my father" - does that indicate why you feel entitled to keep anything you can make as 'extra' from the estate?

What does you sibling feel about your suggestion?  If you haven't told him/her then you know full well it's not right.  Transparency & honesty is the key to a quiet, friendly, wrapping up of an estate, anything underhand just leads to distrust & arguments. 

Malthusian

If there is anything of value in the house this isn't a "moral dilemma" and it is irresponsible to portray it as such. It must be distributed as per the Will or intestacy laws.

If, as is common, there is nothing of meaningful monetary value, the MoneySaver is free to take whatever trinkets they want, then leave the executor(s) to sort house clearance, the cost of which should be paid by the estate.

They should probably also avoid asking their thieving friends for legal advice in the future.

maisie_cat

Why not ask the sibling? if they think there is nothing of value they shouldn't have a problem with you sorting through everything.

Mojisola

maisie_cat said:

Why not ask the sibling? if they think there is nothing of value they shouldn't have a problem with you sorting through everything.

This ^ 

Tell sibling that you will save the estate the cost of a clearance company and will take ownership of all the household contents.

Get it in writing if you think sibling might go back on a verbal agreement.

What you do with the contents is then up to you - keep, sell or donate.

Savvy_Sue

One thing is certain: DIY house clearance can be very slow and time-consuming. Meanwhile the house must be insured, council tax may be due (at higher than 100% rates once probate is granted?), utilities will be due. 

Whether this represents a saving on a professional clearance service and a prompt sale is to my mind debatable. 

What we paid was worth every last penny ... and that's before you think about the logistics of taking large items to the tip, because much of it won't be acceptable to charity shops etc.

dysucker

Amazed this is even suggested as a moral dilemma topic, as it explicitly sounds like a legal dilemma topic.

If you're selling contents of the deceased estate without having sole entitlement to it, then you're stealing from your sibling.

What's to say you don't just become your own house clearance company, then charge your sibling for the privilege of removing and selling the contents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'd say, ask your sibling if they care for any of the contents, and if not, you would like to take care of it, and any proceeds you make you will keep. If they disagree, then they should receive half of anything you've made since you did it without their express consent, and they're still entitled to half anyway.

gloriouslyhappy

However you decide to proceed, make sure you've got an email trail with your sibling and that everything is clearly stated. Sounds like, judging by the lack of contact, they can't be bothered and just want the contents sorted out and the property sold so probably won't object to you sorting, clearing and disposing of things, as well as keeping some sentimental items for yourself as you were close to your dad. 

But, get it in writing, and take photos of anything you keep for yourself, because in my experience, as soon as there's a sniff of potential inheritance, people come out of the woodwork demanding their share. Any proceeds after sorting and selling the contents should be noted and become part of the estate. Expenses of executors are allowed, so keep notes of your time and things like petrol, postage, obtaing certificates etc, and get reimbursed when the estate is settled.

RL11

If you trust and love your siblings, where's the dilemma?
I'm going through this right now. We all got to pick anything we wanted to keep (including jewellery) and there was no discussion or arguments over whether anything chosen was valuable or not. Everything else will be sold, off to the charity shops or dumped. Proceeds will be shared in the unlikely event that there is unexpected value but otherwise it seems perfectly fair that whoever clears it can keep anything raised.

REJP

I agree with all posters who say clarify things with your sibling, in that you might make money selling items that he wants junked.
I have a lot of experience of the "out of the woodwork at the sniff of cash clients."  My feeling is if your sibling says dump everything but is not willing to help with the dumping, then he is not bothered about financial gain.  Why should he let you do all the work, and believe me, it can be very onerous, then benefit from the potential sales.?  A short "I (here put his name) agree that you (here put your name) do agree that as you are clearing the property at your own expense any money made as a result of selling items accrues to you as you did the work."  Get him to sign and date it before you clear it.
also as mentioned by others, you are still going to have to pay council tax until the property is disposed of even if it takes ages to sell.  This also applies to insurance of the property.  Is he contributing to those items?
get it in writing.