Money Moral Dilemma: Should I keep the cash from selling the contents of our deceased dad's home?

abzie87

Morally: If your siblings are wanting to just pay someone to come and get rid of everything then I see no reason why you shouldn’t sell them and keep any proceeds. Irrespective of the fact that you did most of the care for him, so it would seem fair for you to have first refusal on his things etc. If they are prepared to pay towards / take out of the estate to pay someone to just get rid of his things, by you doing this you are saving them money, so any reasonable person should see this as a win win situation anyway. Have they asked for you to split with them? 

Unfortunately as I believe others may have pointed out, it may technically count as proceeds from his estate so technically they may be entitled to a share depending on what’s stipulated in the will, although not sure where you would stand in terms of paying yourself for the time taken for doing this? Personally I would see it as at least reasonable to take off either the quote clearance companies gave or an hourly rate appropriate to this type of work, but this is only from a moral perspective. Morals and the Law don’t always go hand in hand unfortunately  

Technosaurus

I had similar issue with my brother. Although his wasn't because he didn't care, he just couldn't be bothered to go through the various channels to get maximum value (Dad's stuff involved model trains, paintings, old books and musical instruments where there are various subcultures of people / membership societies who host their own auctions/sales to like minded enthusiasts)

It took a long time - about a year - but I meticulously sold all of Dad's stuff 'properly'. After the first couple of sales (where he got his half), my brother stopped asking for updates so I simply stopped telling him how the sales were going. But each time something sold I always ensured I put half aside as per the will and was waiting for the right time to tell him.

He got engaged at New Year and he was over the moon when I said there was a couple of grand in a savings account that can he can put towards the wedding from our deceased Mum & Dad.

Kareware

All this don’t tell him keep it all etc is wrong.if there is a will stating the whole estate is to be split equally then everything should be dealt with to the letter. My husbands father passed and has had nothing he is a beneficiary, the sibling has given and sold everything and offered nothing .All photos birth marriage death certificates, family heirlooms, money emptied the whole house and husband has heard nothing , given nothing not even asked if he wanted anything... it’s WRONG

Afourteen

From experience, first thing to do in their house is to open every box, tin cans with lids, books, opaque jars, DVD & CD cases, Video tape cases, envelope, look behind every picture if not take pictures out of frames! you will be surprised just what you find in them - money, jewellery, other valuables, maybe even contact addresses for unknown relations! Take the drawers out of every cabinet etc and look on the bottom of the drawer. Remove the bath panel and kitchen cabinet kick boards.
Empty pockets in clothes, especially ones that haven't been worn for a long time. 
Check for loose floor boards and look under and around such.
Our elders have tendencies to distrust everyone and will hide what is valuable to them in the most surprising places in a house.
Record/List everything you find. Once you have done that sit down with your sibling and split the items or value equally - it will save arguements later.
 I thought I knew where all my parents stuff was; how wrong I was...! Found more than a few pounds (including some 'white £5'), family jewellery and other important stuff in the most surprising places.

Afourteen

I've had the 'pleasure' of seeing house clearance people at the local tip recently - both of them looked like Mr T from the 'A'Team they had that much heavy weight jewellery around their necks. You can be sure that was acquired from house clearing where the owners haddn't checked the property throughly!

abzie87

LancsLiz said:

Get the house cleared, by a removal company, in to your garage/shed etc and tell sibling you had it cleared.   Then do whatever you want with it.  Sell it, keep it - just don’t let the sibling find out. 

Or this ... personally I’d try speaking to siblings first: but you know much better than my uneducated guess what they are likely to say

rusticrach

Why don't you tell your sibling what you want to do and offer to share any proceeds 50/50. That way your conscience is clear, you're not hiding anything and you're giving your sibling the chance to accept his/her share. 

pickledonionspaceraider

Oh god, another post on this topic.
It is becoming regular thing where people feel entitled to a bigger share of the pot than their sibling / cousin, whatever.
It is immoral behaviour.
STICK TO THE WILL. It is the only correct thing to do, whether you feel more entitled or not, is NOT the issue.  Do what your Dad wanted.
Literally sick of seeing posts of this nature lately.
Some people are so self important that they make everything about themselves - How hard done by they are, how they feel they shudda had more.....It is not about what YOU want or what YOU feel.  Get that out of your head!

Bryan_C

Once your sibling has had the chance to select any items they want, then it's perfectly ok to keep any proceeds from any sales. My experience in doing this in similar circumstances,  was that there was nothing of any significant monetary value, and it took quite a lot of time selling stuff, plus a house clearance and a skip was still needed at the end.

crmism

What matters here is whether your father left a valid will disposing of his entire estate and who he appointed as his executor. It is the latter's responsibility to go through the house and sort out items of value, perhaps in conjunction with a professional valuer, and to get a firm in to clear what remains. There could be items of sentimental or historical value which you might want to retain for the rest of the family; all too often, descendants know little or nothing about ancestors' lives, and only want to find out when it's too late.
As to where the money in the estate goes, that depends on the will's provisions. If your father declared that everything should be divided equally between you and your sister, then that's how the executor must distribute his estate. Executors have a legal responsibility to comply with the terms of a will, regardless of beneficiaries' views or requirements.