Money Moral Dilemma: Should I keep the cash from selling the contents of our deceased dad's home?

Debs1302

Whether you saw your dad more or less than your sibling surely it would be kinder to just ask if there's anything they would like! Money aside, to not even bother consulting your sibling would seem very unkind.

JeaneyB

In my humble opinion, you cannot morally keep things or sell things just because you think you should because you spent more time with the 'late' person.... This is why it's so important to write a will and make things clear: I have made a will leaving everything equally to my 2 sons, (any monies,)...my daughter has been written out of my will and gets nothing, for personal reasons...this is made clear in the will.  I don't have much in money ...(probably they will get £50 each) and maybe things are worth nothing, but everyone should write a will. 
I have arranged and paid for my funeral, down to what music I want playing to the coffin I chose...so the boys and their families  have no worries there, which is a big important thing.  I don't feel children should be left to scrape together the price of their parents funerals....there are funeral plans, best get one from the chosen funeral director as these work out lots better and cheaper than ones advertised on tv :-) 
My sons have been given a choice of anything they want in the house, and my named grandchildren have been left 2 items of choice (afterwards) if they want them....if nothing is wanted everything worth selling will be sold and monies shared equal (with said sons) anything else either to charity shops or tip.....Even though one son lives in Australia, he gets half of everything, we may not see each other very often but keep in touch everyday.

Grahambio

My father recently died and all beneficiaries agreed that we could take any item if it was to be kept, but the proceeds from anything taken and then sold would be added to the estate for distribution as per the terms of the will. There was no ill feeling whatsoever and in the end everyone got something of personal value to cherish and then a financial benefit from the proceeds of the estate.  

jennypicc

Just going through the same thing. As everything was to be shared equally , as stated in the will, we have some of the furniture and that cash is now part of the estate. The rest has been split between us as long as we have all agreed.. if you want more advice join Which legal for £38 rather than paying a solicitor. I used them for probate and saved myself a fortune 

Hodgie

Whether your sibling visited regularly or not is immaterial.  The sibling obviously wants nothing and is expecting to pay someone to dump the contents.  That means he (or she) wants nothing.
The contents should be divided into scrap, sentimental items you want to keep and valuables you don't want.
Dump the scrap yourself, keep the sentimental items and sell anything valuable you don't want.
From the sale, take any personal costs incurred by yourself and divide the remainder with your sibling.
Job done!

UsernameUnavailable

Please don't dump everything. I was disgusted the other day to find a lovely child's bike in my local council skip that had never been used. Re-usable items can be loved by others if sold or given to charity and it helps avoid waste. 
Perhaps speak to your sibling and see if they will agree (in writing) that you can take an agreed number of days to clear what you can from the house and keep any money from this. Then get a company to take the rest. (some charities will collect furniture for free). Just note what you remove and take a quick photo so you have a record. 
You know your sibling best and the thought of doing something is often worse than actually getting on with it so have faith that it will work out. It does not need to be awkward if you both communicate and compromise. Perhaps if you see an item you know they might have liked you can offer it to them. 

ruralbz15

The house contents are part of your father's estate and therefore subject to what is stated in his Will, if he had one.  Probate will want to know the value of the estate at time of death, which includes house contents.  House clearance is very expensive, so if you clear it yourself you will be saving your sibling half that cost if there's any inheritance.  From experience, giving the contents to charity can be fraught with difficulty, especially furniture - charities are very persnickety.  If there's a solicitor executor, you should declare any money made from selling any contents, less incurred costs, but you may note that solicitors are extremely expensive, even for a few minutes of their time.  Since Sibling doesn't want to get involved, agree what happens to the money made; you will save Sibling money.  And check all household items (drawers, cupboards, biscuit tins) for important documents (or hidden bank notes) before discarding - that's something house clearance won't do until after it's in their possession.

Benny2321

Get your sibling to pay you as the "company" to clear the property, then do what you want with the contents once cleared.
Presumably it's of no concern to your sibling whether you dump them in the local tip, or sell and make a profit.
I'd sell the contents I didn't want and make some money (keeping anything of sentimental value of course).
I wouldn't share the profits unless your sibling is involved in the process of clearing and/or selling. The frequency of previous visits, relationships and any other previous history has nothing to do with this transaction in my opinion. This is about what to do with the contents now.

JayKayPol

Sure, all assets should basically be distributed according to the will, if the beneficiaries are siblings, and the will states that the estate is to be divided equally. But it is perfectly possible (and legal) that siblings agree amongst themselves to a different distribution.   That is what happened between me and my sister.  I was the one who was the primary carer for the last 13 years of our mother's life.  When we were sorting out the estate my sister made a generous offer that I should keep a bit more than her.  But it does depend on the nature of your relationship.  It is often at the time of sorting out the estate that old sibling rivalry raises its head and problems arise.  If there is reasonable communication between you and your sibling, why not talk to them about it?  I assume that your father's effects are not on the whole of great value, or else your sibling would not have suggested dumping everything. You could suggest that you will save her/him some money by sorting through things yourself, and ask whether they are happy for you to keep some items, and money from anything you sell. If your relatiionship is not great, and perhaps you don't trust them, make sure that the conversation between you is by email so you keep a copy in case of any future issues.

J_Milou

Lots of useful advice and info already for you.  Our experience is that very little cash is raised from the sale of contents, unless there are known treasures.  My sibling did not want to go through contents with us and only took a couple of items for sentimental reasons, as did we.  We therefore sold what we could, giving the rest to charity shops.  The meagre sum raised was then equally split between our and my sibling's children.  Everyone as happy as could be expected.