I don't know if I'm expecting too much of my boyfriend

rach_k

It doesn't sound like you're very compatible.  I'd not say either of you is 'wrong', it's just different expectations and wants.  
On a side note, the only person I know who says 'jeez' a lot is a stroppy child.  

peachyprice

You come across as young and needy, he comes across as older and jaded.  You're clearly at different stages in life. Time to move along I think. 

-taff

You say other people think he's rude and you say hes not really, then you say he's rude to you.

He is rude. Decide whether you want to be wih someone like that.

helensbiggestfan

Well the rudeness itself is bad enough but what kind of man leaves his girlfriend abandoned in the middle of nowhere for hours on end.  

My husbands car once broke down.......he rang me Just to let me know, and that he was waiting for the breakdown services so that  I wouldn't worry he was late.  I made a flask of coffee and a snack and went to sit with him and keep him company whilst they arrived.  As it turned out it wasn't a long wait, but that's not the point is it. 

If you care about someone then you do what you can to help them.  It's not about being "needy", my husband wasn't needy but he appreciated my gesture.  

Sorry but he just doesn't sound like much of a catch. Throw him back and find someone else who will cherish you and make you feel loved. Don't settle for anything less.  

MoneySeeker1

The more I think about it the more I think that any major relationship (be it a partner/husband or a good friend) have to have similar values/attitudes one way or the other. I would tend to say that a general "3 strikes and you're out" way of thinking about it seems like a good idea to me in a relationship. That being that one episode of very Different behaviour on a major issue might pass, two might pass, but if you get to three Major Episodes of clearly different values it's time to head for the door. Thinking of a former friend that had 1st Strike when they didn't say a word when someone else unjustifiably tore into me and their 3rd strike boiled down to condemning Esther Rantzen for her attitude to life. Now I know I don't know Esther Rantzen, but she has done a lot of good campaigning work on a variety of issues and that tells me that former friend hates campaigning type people/is someone who abides by Rules regardless and that means they are my complete opposite.

So, think about it and how many Major Episodes there have been of you both being on a very different page re values/relationships and if he's hit 3 Strikes think long and hard about it as to whether to continue with him. It won't get better.

Tooskint

In my opinion as someone recently separated from someone like that I would advise get out asap.  The minute they start taking you away from family and criticising and dismissing you it an abusive relationship.  I wish I hadn't stuck 20 years and 2 kids to realise.  Be strong and think of yourself

bargainbetty

I'm not going to join in with those saying he is chilled - when he has upset you and he is dismissive, rude and, as you note at one point, turns it back onto you that is not being chilled, it is gas-lighting which is the hallmark of a narcissist along with the rude/outspoken bit. Telling you he has been single for so long because he is really 'picky'? Are you supposed to say thank you and feel blessed by his attentions? One more for the narcissist checkbox list. 
I could be entirely wrong, and it sounds very much like you two are not particularly compatible anyway. If he actually gave a damn about your feelings, he would apologise and make efforts not to do the same things again. I don't think is about you loosening up, this sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings very much.  And If I am right, and he is a gaslighting narcissist, run a mile. Now.  

mr_stripey

bargainbetty said:

I'm not going to join in with those saying he is chilled - when he has upset you and he is dismissive, rude and, as you note at one point, turns it back onto you that is not being chilled, it is gas-lighting which is the hallmark of a narcissist along with the rude/outspoken bit. Telling you he has been single for so long because he is really 'picky'? Are you supposed to say thank you and feel blessed by his attentions? One more for the narcissist checkbox list. 
I could be entirely wrong, and it sounds very much like you two are not particularly compatible anyway. If he actually gave a damn about your feelings, he would apologise and make efforts not to do the same things again. I don't think is about you loosening up, this sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings very much.  And If I am right, and he is a gaslighting narcissist, run a mile. Now.  

This way my inital reaction too.

helensbiggestfan

mr_stripey said:

bargainbetty said:

I'm not going to join in with those saying he is chilled - when he has upset you and he is dismissive, rude and, as you note at one point, turns it back onto you that is not being chilled, it is gas-lighting which is the hallmark of a narcissist along with the rude/outspoken bit. Telling you he has been single for so long because he is really 'picky'? Are you supposed to say thank you and feel blessed by his attentions? One more for the narcissist checkbox list. 
I could be entirely wrong, and it sounds very much like you two are not particularly compatible anyway. If he actually gave a damn about your feelings, he would apologise and make efforts not to do the same things again. I don't think is about you loosening up, this sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings very much.  And If I am right, and he is a gaslighting narcissist, run a mile. Now.  

This way my inital reaction too.

Mine too, I'm afraid.  

As others have said, run. As fast as you can.  

goodwithsaving

I couldn't be with someone like that. I've been with someone who put me and everyone I loved down at every opportunity and I remember thinking, 'do you actually like anyone besides yourself?'. You're still young, life is for living positively. A negative relationship can leave negative impacts, the sooner you're away from it the less of an impact it may have.